1139
What men want
(thelemmy.club)
Sounds like it's more of a content issue, less of a form issue.
Sweetie, you need to up your blacksmithing game.
When I was young, I was naive to the ways of romance, and especially romantic communication. I was often oblivious to advances made upon me, and awkward and unskilled at making any expression of interest without just looking a bit foolish. However, after a lot of experience and many ups and downs in the pursuit of love, I find that I am no longer young.
Men are dense and women are indirect.
I know these are generalities, but it's sooo freakin common that it's a well-known trope.
I'd actually go a step further and say that it's not so much that men are "dense" as it is that they are full of self-doubt...I.e., seeing the advances, knowing they are there, but not believing that they are actually intended for them, or it's a joke/prank, or for whatever other reason, they convince themselves that it's not an advance and they are misinterpreting.
IANAD, but I'd guess this has more to do with mens mental-health awareness than anything else.
It's a trope, but it's also supposedly "well known" that men are horny bastards who think with their dicks... yet somehow we have these the two very opposing scenarios.
Personally, despite a rather distinct lack of interest from the "fairer sex" prior to college, I found that plenty of women were more interested in sex than me in later years and not particularly subtle about it, which was actually off-putting as I wanted a relationship with a bit more substances. A lot of guys I know were in the same boat. Sex was easy. Finding somebody who actually wanted to do activities together was quite hard.
Something I've noticed in myself, maybe because of the lack of interest from women at a younger age, is that women will almost throw themselves at you sometimes. Like, yeah I get it, I'm down for that too, but I won't be able to make it move for you if I don't know you ma'am.
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Or maybe he just wasn't in the mood? Despite the tropes, men don't want sex ALL the time, and just like women don't want to be responsible for the feelings of men, we don't want to always be responsible for quelling the insecurities of women. This doesn't even have to be a gendered thing. No one wants to be the only source of validation for their partner. Often we hope they are on some level emotionally mature and self assured.
OP was doing the person equivalent of a cat walking across your keyboard because you were typing instead of petting.
or it's that the risk involved isn't worth it.
because for every woman who 'is sending you signals' 7/10 of them will actually not be, and 2/10 of them will be, but deny it, and 1/10 will actually be happy you got the signal.
not to mention one woman's 'signal' is another's ignore you, is another's just being friendly, is another's desperately trying to passively tell you to fuck off. there is no consistency because every woman is different.
and plenty of women will up sleep with you, tell you they love you, want to be with you, and then laugh in your face and ask you why you thought she was ever interested a few days later. which is a total mindfuck.
as a man, who are you supposed to make any sense of any of that? you can't. so you just learn to ignore it all and focus your efforts on ladies who are clear with their intentions and behaviors... of which there are not a lot, and if you find one you marry her.
many people are totally inconsistent, straight up lie, and are otherwise unclear about what they want and who they are to the opposite sex.... because SEX.
a lot of people engaged in compeltely different personalities and behaviors when sex becomes involved. hence why their friends can't understand why they 'struggle' with romantic partners... well because the person they are to their friends is totally different.
personally, i've always been SHOCKED at how radically different some of my gfs would behave around their friends vs around me or in public. it was like they were a completely different person. Stuff they'd tell me they hated, they told their friends they loved, etc.
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Your sword is no match for me!
How about this sword?
It sounds like hes respecting consent, just being in your underwear doesn't automatically mean you want him all over you and hes respecting that possibility.
If I was playing a video game that I was super sucked into and focused on, and then a girl I was with still in her underwear sat next to me, I wouldn't assume it was an invitation to immediately begin sucking on her titties or something. I'd figure she just wanted to chill next to me in her undies.
If you want to have sex: communicate that. He probably would have been down.
This situation isn't about consent; it's about seduction and attraction. It's not unrealistic that seeing your partner in their underwear might distract you from what you're doing and elicit an amorous response, and that's what she wants. There's no suggestion that that response would be anything but respectful of consent.
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For real tho, what is the name of that doc?
Also. Is Melissa single?
Finish watching the doc, then ask her.
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be more interesting than medieval sword making.
no, sex isn't the answer. probably reading a book on medieval history and telling him about it is.
it always baffles me how many women i have dated... have no interests or passions, and seem to look down on people who do.
and the women i have dated who did have passions and interests... were way way more attractive and more fun to spend time with, because they didn't expect me to entertain them.
I married a guy who already shared my interests, which I feel is a pretty hard requirement for a working relationship.
One of those interests is history, so we will be needing that docu as well
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Hmm. A “hey” with three Ys and a smirk... I don’t think Melissa’s bf is the problem.
Maybe if she dressed up as a sword...
Would also love to know the doc, lol.
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Fucking disgusting
If someone is actively engaged with something, you have to break their attention. I feel like people need to learn more about dissociation and blacksmithing.
If she wants to get men to pay attention to her she should just get a hammer and anvil.
No sure who said this… sounds like Bill Burr but … “No matter how beautiful she is, there’s some guy somewhere who’s tired of putting up with her shit”
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Part of the reason why we differntiate consent and enthusiastic consent
100 percent I want to watch that doc.
But also 100 percent I'm hitting pause if my wife just comes out and says she wants me to smelt her nickel
Smelt her nickel?
Hammer her red hot metal
Pound her copper
"Men are disgusting! They only think about one thing ~~sex~~ medieval sword making!" /s
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"I have presented my flesh in his presence and that wasn't automatically rewarded. What am I doing wrong?"
Have you tried... talking about shared interests? Being funny? Being charming and confident? Putting effort into romance? Like all the same advice that help men gain interest from women works the other way around too, you know? We're all human.
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Star in a documentary I guess.
Well, if it was Reclaiming the Blade, I'm not surprised !
My gf is coming back home from a week long trip tonight. Thanks for the recommendation!
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Sometimes a man is just tired, you know?
Have you tried laying next to your boyfriend while making a sword?
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this post was submitted on 07 May 2026
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