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What men want
(thelemmy.club)
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this post was submitted on 07 May 2026
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It's a trope, but it's also supposedly "well known" that men are horny bastards who think with their dicks... yet somehow we have these the two very opposing scenarios.
Personally, despite a rather distinct lack of interest from the "fairer sex" prior to college, I found that plenty of women were more interested in sex than me in later years and not particularly subtle about it, which was actually off-putting as I wanted a relationship with a bit more substances. A lot of guys I know were in the same boat. Sex was easy. Finding somebody who actually wanted to do activities together was quite hard.
Something I've noticed in myself, maybe because of the lack of interest from women at a younger age, is that women will almost throw themselves at you sometimes. Like, yeah I get it, I'm down for that too, but I won't be able to make it move for you if I don't know you ma'am.
The tropes are projection.
The people who say that shit are almost always... the ones who do that shit. Every woman I know whines about shallow horny non-committal men... was talking about her own behavior and just blaming men for it. whenever they would meet a new guy they would go off about his looks and his money and other shallow traits, and then they would say they knew he wouldn't commit but they didn't care and would date him anway, and then if he didn't commit she'd be so upset, but if he did commit... she'd dump him because there was 'something wrong with him'. etc etc
Just like dudes who complain about shallow gold diggers... are mostly shallow gold diggers themselves.
This really seems like some sort of cognitive bias, maybe Clustering Illusion?
She sees the horny non-committal men because they make obvious advances towards her (and, for that matter, she reciprocates).
The results of how men behave when she makes the first move, is first limited to the men she makes a move on first. That sounds confusing as hell but I don't know how else to write it.
I don't really want to figure out the
( n(n-1) / n)number of potential outcomes between which person makes an advance first, whether or not they are (interested/reciprocate; not interested/do not reciprocate; do not notice), and then further how the originator reacts and the outcome of the interaction.Needless to say, though, I imagine the number of men who do not reciprocate on her "first move", either intentionally or not, would be significantly bottlenecked by the amount of people with whom she makes the first move to begin with.
There's also the coy/flirty method of "playing hard to get" vs a lack of interest being interpreted as such.
Relationships are complicated.