being able to walk to your friends house?

Being unreachable without it feeling weird—peace was built into the day.

Not linked directly to the tech, but generally the thing I miss the most was the optimism. In the 90s people were excited for the future. Crime was trending down, the economy was doing well, the government was paying down the debt, the internet was new and full of wonder. In general there was a push for you to be whatever you wanted to be no matter who you were. The beginning of a lot of breaking down and removing stereotypes and gender norms.

Some of this seems to have reversed, most of it ended on 9/11/2001. That attack killed a lot of the optimism and things line the PATRIOT ACT really put us on the dystopian track we find ourselves on now. Also a lot of the economic boom were from the deregulation that would cause massive problems later...

So, yeah generally I miss the optimism we had.

Reading. I was such a bookworm before YouTube became accessible on phones.

I would always have two books going at a time. Reading was part of my bedtime routine. Now I just fall asleep watching YouTube stuff that I'd be no worse off if I didn't watch. Except ma girl Moriah, she's influenced a lot of my art and craft projects.

My nephews and nieces were raised on YouTube and mobile games. They literally do not know how to play imagination games, they need so much coaching and direction. As kids, we were always acting out our own scenes from TV shows or just our own imaginations. We'd play at lost explorers, under the sea adventures, Captain Planet, etc. It's sad that the kids in my family just have everything fed to them by YouTube, they don't know how to imagine games like this.

Heck, we used to dig up bits of broken crockery and be so proud of this bit of random teacup we found. It's definitely an antique and not just a cup someone broke a few years ago.

My son is about to be 13, doesnt have his own phone, hardly plays video games, and often doesnt watch Tv instead chooses to play outside.

He finally found a kid in the neighborhood who also isnt screen addicted and its so nice to see them play. Shortly after school hours, you see either my son or the other kid start circling on their bike waiting for the other kid to come out. Then they play outdoors for hours. They come home from their neighborhood adventures sometimes covered in mud, with new scrapes and out of breath from running and playing. I love it! I love to hear them laughing and enjoying their time, I love that they are learning social skills, figuring out who they are, while not comparing themselves to what they see on the internet. It's fantastic.

Recently a teacher was taken aback when said he didnt have a phone (he uses mine to text friends) and I scoffed a bit inside with pride. My kid has healthy self esteeme and makes friends everywhere he goes. It brings me a lot of joy to see him thrive in this way, hes begining to learn independence and idk, I love it for him.

I miss the higher level of engagement and interactions with another person or group when socializing.

Now that everyone has a computer in their pocket, they have an alternative (and sometimes primary) source to engage with during social interactions and events. Now instead of using social skills to change, deepen, or otherwise adjust conversation and engagement on an individual or group level, many people opt out and zone out on their phones instead.

It started with texting. I noticed that at parties or small group interactions, people would oscillate between interacting with the group and texting others either in attendance or not, whichever entertained/engaged them the most. Suddenly instead of parties being full of people who were there to be there and interact with others there, they became full of people who were there until the next exciting thing flashed on their screens and they would just leave without even really being there anyway.

What I’m saying is that people used to be engaged and dedicated in a more wholistic way when socializing, and I miss that. I hate that texting others while you have someone right in front of you that you agreed to spend time with is normal. I hate that I can’t trust anyone to value my time as much as I do theirs, and that apparently I’m taking it too seriously if I do.

Socializing in a spontaneous way.

You showed up, no idea who was gonna be there. Genuine unplanned interactions and meet new people.

Everything. The world had so much before we started spending our present in phones. I had time for art and hobbies and writing. I did so much exploration and sports and socializing. Road trips, and events, and helping others. Things were memorable.

Now is more like an addiction. The time goes but I’m never sure where it went. I barely have time to sleep, much less any other activities

It was such a blessing to not have every aspect of your life monetized by shadowy tech billionaires. I see that now. You could simply exist as a person without worry that something or someone would gather the most intimate details of your existence to sell to the highest bidder so they could better psychologically manipulate your purchasing decisions. If you wanted, you could disappear for a while to recharge in solitude - no cellphone cataloging where you are, no cameras generating records of your movements. Friendships were more solid. These were people like you that sought connection whether it was an activity or common experience. There were whole seasons when you were free to roam about and socialize or not, there was no expectation of you being productive every waking moment. It was a time when science and technology felt exciting - the next new discovery or invention would be something that would improve our lives. Computers were simple by todays standards and were centered around what YOU wanted to do with them, not just a conduit to shovel content to consume. It was an exploratory experience and you felt so accomplished when you got the hang of the interface. I can barely recall the feeling of knowing there was a brighter future ahead of you and that there were others in this world who cared and reached for it too.

Fuck, I'm crying as I write this. I'm mourning a world that no longer exists and can't ever again.

Not knowing everything all the time led to more interesting conversations.

Privacy.

Those before what? For you it feels likethere was a “before" and a now, but for me (54 years old) it feels like continuity. So many people keep asking this question, or promoting some pseudo “better before” era, that I’m starting to wonder if the world didn’t just wake up dumb.When cellphones didn’t exist, the idea of a cellphone‑based world didn’t even occur to us...except in science fiction. Now that I have a smartphone, I’m just glad I can video‑call my kid, buy groceries online while I’m on the road, and get home to cook. There’s nothing “better” or “worse.” Rude people always existed. In my time, you’d walk into a room, say hello, and there was always that one guy who wouldn’t even lift his eyes from his sports magazine.

Lack of expectation that wherever I am and whatever I do anyone can just call me to get instant answer.

Also - less societal control. Kids nowadays can't go anywhere in public without their parents. They either get kicked out, have police sicced at them, or spaces where anyone can hang out for free are regularly erased. Case in point - even online spaces are now slowly closed from non-adults. In my youth one could go to any of the public spaces and hang out there for free with nobody troubling you.

World now feels like it's strongly geared towards raising slaves - always available, always under control, even rest seems to be paywalled.

We could go outside unsupervised.

Cycling to friend's place to see if they're home or spinning around the town checking where the people are hanging out at

It was quite simple and nice not being connected 100% of the time

Having an attention span. I used to be able to sit with a book and read for hours in silence. Now I don’t like when it’s too quiet. And if I play music to counteract that my brain also can’t read the same thing for more than a paragraph because scrolling through Reddit has made it so I don’t have the patience for anything and I want quick, digestible pieces. Watching movies and tv shows is also terrible because I’m constantly checking my phone so I miss a lot of important details. I fully acknowledge I have a phone addiction.

Not needing an account to do everything.

You paid at the door, you enjoyed your bowling/concert/etc, you didn't get adverts for the rest of your life.

Not being constantly bombarded with information. Not just the internet, but every source of information (TV, radio, music, even written media) has grown by orders of magnitude. Then you pile email, messaging, social media etc on top of that, dump a shitload of advertising on top of the whole mess, add on a bunch of algorithms to keep you hooked and AI to churn out drivel. We went from information scarcity to a ludicrous excess and perhaps people of my age find it hard not to try to voraciously consume all we can, because that's what we did when we were young, when it was scarce.

Life was quieter back then. You had to find ways to fill your time. Read a book. Draw something. Make something. Of course you can still do those things but now I have to fight to find the time and attention. We live in a world of constant interruption, so many things fighting for our attention. It's tiring.

A lack of cameras everywhere. Plenty of dumb things that happened in my childhood now only live in my memory (and maybe those who were there). There's no video proof of a dumb thing I said or did. I was free to make mistakes.

Not having a camera or tracker up my ass everywhere I went.

Hair metal.

Big concerts with crazy amounts of people and you got a $20 ticket made out of paper that you could save to display in your photo album.

Two sliders in car for heat and air. One for low or fast blowing, one to slide from hot to cold. Why tf do I need a PhD for my AC when I'm trying to drive?

Going outside.

Not having parents and teachers and government bother people constantly about everything. Latch key parents didn't go to jail for neglect, kids grew up with freedom, gov wasn't watching you, and police were not at schools.

Playing video games without the need to sign in, use server, update for a goddamn hour when I only have 45 min to play, and games made for fun rather than cookie cutter eye candy.

Kids got in trouble for tobacco but didn't get criminal charges for it. We also did not get charges for fighting. We got through it. Now parents are in court rooms over stupid normal shit kids do.

People didn't kill each other at schools. Students often had gun racks in the back windows of their vehicles and nobody cared.

Funnily enough I miss the internet. You can kind get the same experience in the right places, but it's not quite the same vibe.

Written from my stream of consciousness, edited for grammar:

The simplest answer is that we were able to do dumb things and make dumb choices without it becoming a viral moment that haunted us.

The things that kids in high school did that would be life-shattering now were little more than rumors to most kids in the school. There was no video that circulated, no major social media that allowed the school to sit in judgment of whatever was happening. The thing happened, people talked about it for a few weeks, and aside from a handful of mean people, everyone moved on.

I'm of the Jackass generation, so we had our fill of stupid. We had our fill of online danger too, but there was less permanence to the choices we made in the moment most of the time. We were free to be stupid, and being stupid is a part of growing up that we've forgotten.

Online was different, it was better. I'll die on that hill. We communicated with each other instead of trying to win a popularity contest. Some of the old viral videos were just made to test software and goof off. It was real and human in a way that has been replaced by commercialization. There was stuff you shouldn't see. There were people you shouldn't talk to. But the majority of digital spaces and forums were about communication, debate, and understanding. Yes, there was a lot of degenerate content, but those spaces were relegated to the darker corners of the internet.

I learned more about world history, labor history, sociology, and finance than I had ever learned in high school. Every instance of learning came with the ability to ask questions, and those questions got answered thoroughly, sometimes with sources. It wasn't a game to find the perfect pun or insult. The top-rated comment was the one most people agreed with or appreciated.

I know it isn't the main part of the question, but I honestly blame Tucker Max for the start of the downfall. In his autobiographical book, he walked through a lot of early social engineering and manipulations that I came to see as commonplace online.

I know this is long for the modern internet. It wasn't for my internet. This was about cell phones. My mistake, but then again, the modern internet is experienced through the cell phone. We had to use a computer in the living room or go to a friend's house and access the internet when everyone was asleep. That way we didn't mess with the phone line.

We had walkie-talkies to keep in touch with family in case of emergencies. Sleepovers weren't about scrolling on phones and showing each other videos. We did do that. We used the computer to look at YouTube videos, but we also walked around at night when we shouldn't have, played video games until dawn, and watched Real Sex (the show) on TV. Things were just a little bit harder, so you had to work a little to get anything.

Something else, no matter what you were doing or where you went, you didn't just take a walkie-talkie. You had your radio, then a Walkman, then an MP3 player. You brought your Magic or Pokémon cards to trade. Maybe you would need your camera or a copy of Game Informer, or a cheat code book, etc. Every time you went out, you had to decide what was important to bring, what options you wanted for playing and experiencing things together with your friends.

We were more able to be bored, and that made us more able to be creative, or stupid, if we're bringing it full circle.

I know this seems long, but this post is almost standard for some writing from back then, online at least.

The good:

• not always being reachable. Less immediacy. More self discipline without instant answers
• 3rd spaces caused people to mix who wouldn't otherwise. There are fewer these days. It also kept people more civil (in one way or another). Likewise, it provided a buffer against disinfo in some senses since people would call BS on something that was wrong. Contrast this to life today on the internet with weird bubbles and conspiracy theories spread like crazy
• more togetherness and hopefulness. Some of this is probably because I was younger, but even in my really rural, conservative US town, no one was against conservation, not wasting water, being more eco-friendly, and trying to help stop the acid rain and ozone hole. That somehow became very politicized and hopelessness has taken over
• people were in the moment, not filming the moment. This especially sucks at live shows compared to the past. Also people doing dumb shit in public for an internet audience didn't exist for obvious reasons.
• the entertainment was what was on or what you made. No endless distraction or scrolling. More imagination, more involvement in things rather than just posting about it online.
• More privacy, fewer devices constantly sending any telemetry or personal data

The bad:

• not being reachable has consequences in terms of emergencies
• it was easier to get stranded in the past
• things that were missed by forgetting a schedule at home or not knowing it and not being able to look it up
• learning languages was worse IMO. Certainly less variety where I was
• much more casual sexism, homophobia, racism, etc.
• navigation was sometimes harder since maps needed to be updated and one needed to know and to buy the new one. Not a big deal, though, in most areas
• obvious things like medical and other sciences being much more behind. More death.
• HIV/AIDS scare and its consequences on people

I'm sure there's more that will come to me later.

The ability to not be available 24/7 or expected to be. Employers with the advent of cellphones and their ubiquity expect that from you and they can fuck right off.

Garage sales! Holy shit garage sales used to be so fucking awesome. As a 12-15 year old I scored so much computer stuff dirt cheap at garage sales, along with books and music. Just about every Saturday in the summer you could see me with a box precariously balanced or a shopping bag hanging from my bike's handlebars.

Nowadays everything worth more than a couple bucks goes up on FB marketplace and Kijiji, and the only stuff anyone puts in a garage sale is actual garbage that the thrift stores wouldn't even put on the shelf.

I miss not experiencing the pressure to be always available. To always respond.

If you were out of the house and someone wanted you they waited until you got home. If it was a true emergency, they could figure out the phone number to wherever you were, maybe, but short of that? You wouldn't be bothered.

There was also a level of spontaneity I miss where you might drive looking for a place to eat and just stop at the first place that looked good. Or you were going somewhere specific but you just drive to the general area and look for a sign.

I delivered pizza using a map of my city and I got real familiar with how roads worked.

Being inaccessible was a hidden pleasure. Just be where you are

The shared experience of Television and Movies.

Nearly everyone watched The Simpsons, for instance. It was more reliable than Game of Thrones ever was.

More truth and fewer media bubbles. The "WMDs in Iraq" lie was a huge understanding, and not everyone believed it, just enough. Now you can do that more easily with some social media accounts and algorithms. People just choose their own news.

Knocking on your friends door and asking if they are coming out to play.

Being on holiday really felt like you were in a far away place, cut off from everything familiar. Today, no matter where you go on the planet, everything is kinda the same because you bring your digital environment with you.

Nowadays, if the phone rings or if someone knocks on the door, it causes fear and anxiety.

When I was a kid, if the house phone rang or there was a knock at the door, we'd rush to answer in excitement. "the cousins are coming over."

simpler times

Things that happened at the party, mostly stayed at the party. Now you can find yourself on TikTok the next morning

Summer holidays as a kid. Endless summer days - and the days were long too (it didn't get dark until 10 at night) - with nothing to do but play with friends. I grew up in rural SW Scotland, so we had woods, forests, beaches, hills, rivers, streams, farmland etc. at our disposal. Our parents were all at work so we had total freedom - as long as we were home in time for dinner we'd be good. Our bikes were everything, we'd meet up and decide what we were going to do and where we were going to go. Sometimes it would be someone's house for video games (Commodore 64 or Spectrum), or building a camp in the woods, or fishing at a stream up in the Galloway Forest, or cycling to the nearest beach and swimming in the warm sea.

Fucking idyllic, but that world is gone.

Greater intentionality in mundane things. Wanted to go somewhere? Mark it on the map. Photos? You only have so much film left. Trying to remember a phone number, address, passcode, note? 9 times out of 10, you'd write it down and carry it with you.

Smartphones are a technological miracle but we lost a lot of intention through the convenience, which has pros and cons.

The quiet

Science fiction dystopias being fictional and set in the "far future".