One of my favorite things in life is using Latin or Greek plurals on words that it makes absolutely no sense to use them on, and do not follow the rules of any language naturally involved.

I had steak and potati for dinner last night. Just one steak, though, I cannot eat multiple steakices

Its whatever your heart is telling you.

2π: two pi

π: one pus

Octopoden!

American English: "All of the above are valid."

"Even 'octopussies?'"

American English: "...sure."

It's technically octopods

This is true for the scientific sense that it's order Octopoda (e.g. the plural for members of Hexapoda is "hexapods" and likewise "decapods" for Decapoda), but then it's kind of like saying the plural for "lobster" is "nephropids". The names are close for Octopoda and octopus, but it's still taking the colloquial name and pluralizing it into its scientific name. It's not specifically "to bring it in line with cephalopod"; that's just how generic names of members of taxa ending in 'poda' work generally.

Strictly speaking, "octopods" is the plural of "octopod".

Octopodes nuts

2 octopus = 1 hexadecipus

Now I'm afraid to but too curious not to ask where might I find the octogoose?

Student: "language is prescriptive not descriptive"

Teacher: "you fail 3rd grade spelling"

And I absolutely support keeping people back who believe English should be guided and evolved through "Likes".

Octopussies is actually the name for a harem of Maud Adams clones

my my my, what a cunning linguist!

Just like meese is the plural of moose

Merriam Webster's response: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s166nC_hiZ0

Next, we pronounce "apoptosis".

I thought it was octopuxen?

So... 2 cephalopods, 1 cephalopus ?

Level 10: all forms are valid as long as enough people use them. The currently most used forms are octopuses and octopi, both valid, but octopi is malformed, so octopuses is preferred. Octopussses and octopii and rare variants of those. Also correct, but rarely used.
Octopodes is also correct, but considered pedantic.

Level 11: Just use what you are used to.

It should just refer to the number of tentacles. So, for two of them, it would be sēdecimpus

Cephalopus

As a native greek speaker, I find anything other than "octopuses" to be silly. In greek we don't say (any more) octopodes, we say "chtapodia" (the "ch" is the canonical (ELOT) transliteration of the letter χ).

Call 'em whatever you like, they're all octobussies to me.