I'm definitely NOT MAD 😡 that I wasn't part of the US normal people delegation to meet Xi.
this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2023
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Imagining a bunch of hexbears having dinner with Xi and just saying the most unhinged shit.
XI: Invo_RT, please tell me about the infrastructure in your city.
ME: [Uncontrollable Trump impression] Not good! Very bad! But I'll keep using that garbage. [Standing up aggressively] Please President Xi, send Chengdu J-20 multirole stealth aircraft. My people yearn for freedom. [Now on top of the table] Unlimited genocide on the first world!
it's a normal people delegation we specifically aren't invited
sitting next to xi showing him traa memes while laughing awkwardly
His aide leans down: "This is a sign of great respect in their culture"
They get in a fight with Xi when he won’t denounce stone cairnists
For his entertainment, we perform one of our customary after-dinner actives: vegan struggle session. We allow him to lock the thread at his leisure, and even present him with an outdoor and indoor cat to show our unity. He thanks us and gives us dating advice and 20 rifles
Maybe he can resolve the problem of the fascist credit card
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You're probably joking, but in the article it states that these people showed Xi around Iowa like 40 years ago when he was part of some farming committee. They left such a good impression on him that apparently they've stayed in touch. It's really sweet honestly. In the article he says something like "to me, these people are america"
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"I have 20 comrades ready to form a cadre, here's the coordinates for you to airdrop us guns and 1000 copies do Maos Red Book!"
"Wha... I'm just here to have dinner."
He's running
In 1985, Gary Dvorchak’s parents gave Xi his bedroom, decorated with Star Trek items, in their Muscatine home. Dvorchak and his sister Paula, who talked to the future Chinese leader about American movies, are on next week’s guest list.
virgin minion guest room vs 
chad Star Trek guest room
I can't imagine hosting a politician and having them look at my anime posters and percy jackson books in my childhood room.
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Xi’s warm and enduring bond with the Midwesterners he first encountered nearly four decades ago stands in contrast with the suspicions and acrimony that have characterized relations between the two largest economies over the last few years.
It's funny when they talk about this like the "suspicion and acrimony" has just spontaneously generated as a byproduct of these two economies existing.
that aside, this seems genuinely sweet all round and i hope everyone has a nice time
Imagine Joe Biden meeting with everyday Chinese people, lol no he wouldn't.
Imagine him meeting with everyday American people who he nominally likes more
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I don't know if I'd say he wouldn't, the man does really likes sniffing hair
Sniffs Chinese child’s hair
”Mmm, such exotic aromas”
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Must feel weird for Iowans to meet a politician who isn't pandering for their vote.
Regular people want belt and road and infrastructure and high speed rail and health care and affordable housing. Please Xi 
Gorbachev did stuff like this too. My dad worked in Dupont circle in DC in the late 80s and once the Russian motorcade was driving by as he was walking home from work. They suddenly stopped and there wasnt anyone else nearby so he started getting worried but then a car door opens and Gorbachev gets out with a big smile and just talks to him for like 5 minutes about life and sports and normal small talk things. Said he liked to get to know regular citizens. Then he got back in his imported car and just drove off
Fanfic of your dad inviting Gorbachev out for a quick American bite and introducing him to Pizza Hut.
Come on Xi, Alaskans count as honorary midwesterners! Please invite me! 
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Xi and his wife, Peng Liyuan — a famous Chinese folk singer in her own right — threw a banquet for them. “She said, ‘Well, I just had to meet the people from Iowa,’” Lande recalled. “By the way, she is a lovely, beautiful lady. Her last remark was, ‘If we ever retire, I’m going to gather my daughter and we’re coming to Muscatine.’”
Okay laying it on a bit too thick here nobody is dying to move to Muscatine lol
What better place is there to start a protracted people’s war in Amerikkka 
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He’s trying to tell us something…trust the plan
By "my daughter" she means "a millions strong PLA liberation force."
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we will never understand the insidious chinese mind and their propensity for humanity
he needs to know if the nuke barrage can be a limited strike or should be full spread
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I want to go to dinner with the president of the free world!
No, the real president of the free world
spoiler
No, I said the real president of the free world! 
A rare W for Iowa. Maybe there's hope for the world.
This is incredibly sweet, and such a stark contrast to major American politicians who would loudly set up an artificial version of this purely during campaign season before unceremoniously forgetting everyone they met.
Xi meeting with kulaks, sorry but China is cancelled 😤
Wholesome Xi :3 
“He wanted to learn how to feed his people,”
Wait, he didn't fucking invite me 😭
"hey jinping, so during the background check it came up that one of the guests is a regular poster on some kind of fan forum for you? you still wanna invite this person?"
"uhh.... idk about that lol"
must be nice
This is some of the most amazing agitprop ever.
Can't wait for all the corn discourse at the dinner table 
Those Iowans soon:
God I wish that were me
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