this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2023
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politics

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[–] [email protected] 140 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Annual reminder that it’s now been 14 years since Hannity promised to be waterboarded for charity.

He talks a big game, but that’s all it is – and his talk gets cheaper by the day.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

This was the comment I came to see.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

He looks like a chicken leg in that photo.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

That's right, I was going to mention the same. All these would-be tough guys are all alike.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Wait we had the chance to waterboard him and we didn't take it?

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Id say let’s put him up for a test then.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Send him into the woods in Maine!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

And leave him there!

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If that's the case why do we need guns?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And why isn't he in Maine?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Hannity taking this guy down with his epic martial arts skills on live TV could be bigger than Geraldo opening Capone's safe

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah, but depraved as TV has a reputation for being, there's still a bit of a taboo against showing someone getting turned into pink mist on live TV.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Live, maybe, but I know of at least one instance of it happening on a TV show

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

But Pay Per View on the other hand....

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I'd watch it on PPV

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

This would have been my immediate response too. “I guess we don’t need guns, just sweet martial arts skills”

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hannity should challenge Steven Seagal to a fight. Winner becomes king of the douchebags.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

I like to think they both shit themselves and it's called a draw.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A single round from an AR15 can amputate a limb.

Good luck, fuckface.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

It could also amputate nearly a whole Sean Hannity from an otherwise perfectly serviceable limb.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Crucially, it can do so at hundreds of yards distance. Which is longer than his reach, last time I saw him on TV.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I dunno. He is certainly reaching with this whole kung-fu master bullshit.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago

I heard he did so well when he was water boarded.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He also said he could handle waterboarding, but has never had the plums to put that to the test.

This is simply another instance of Sean Hannity writing checks with his mouth that his ass can't cash.

Quite frankly, I doubt that he could handle an unarmed assailant.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He also said he could handle waterboarding, but has never had the plums to put that to the test

At least Christopher Hitchens put his money where his mouth is and changed his mind immediately.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

That was immediately respect-worthy. He emerged from it traumatized, even by the brief experience, and said it was absolutely, 100% torture.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

What about the people who can't afford to be dry humped by a Brazilian trying to break their arm three times a week?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I'm imagining it going something like this.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I'm pretty sure he and many of his ilk talk shit like this strictly so they will be quoted in the news and thus stay in the public eye.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Don’t break a hip talking out the side of your neck you elderly trilobite

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Lol goddamn...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I urge him to try.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Hannity has never struck me as someone with even the slightest bit of intelligence. I'm sure he was chosen for his role because he was telegenic enough and could spout all the politically correct conservative talking points that Limbaugh was saying on the radio.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

He can't even be waterboarded

Fucking loser.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And if he goes after a mass shooter in the hall with his martial arts skills, he will end up a bloody mess riddled with bullet holes on the floor.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Which is how we can be assured that he will never put this claim to the test.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Everybody knows he’s being trained to be a cage fighter by Rex KwonDo… gosh!!!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

You think anyone wants a roundhouse while I'm wearing these babies????? Forget about it!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I thought they said "only a good guy with a gun can stop a bad guy with a gun"?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is the best summary I could come up with:


In the aftermath of a mass shooting in Maine that left at least 18 dead and a dozen injured — with the suspected killer still at large — the usual prescriptions for America’s epidemic of gun violence have been rolled out once more.

Indeed, because the political right is beholden to Second Amendment absolutists who regard even the hint of increased gun regulation as an attack on the Constitution, they are always in the awkward positions of suggesting other, baffling ways to theoretically prevent another AR-15 massacre.

So, talking with presidential candidate Nikki Haley on his show last night, Fox News host Sean Hannity pivoted to an alternate form of protection: bare fists.

Once he’d complained that shootings are routinely “politicized” — something Fox surely has nothing to do with — Hannity turned the threat of being gunned down in a public space into an issue of personal responsibility.

But his absurd comment reaffirms the core delusion of gun-rights advocates who resist any common-sense reform of firearm laws: that if only these horrific attacks unfolded in just the right circumstances, with a perfectly prepared hero in the vicinity, they wouldn’t add up to the deadly pattern we recognize as an ongoing national crisis.

The cruel irony of this take is how it demands you imagine yourself with superpowers while presuming the government — which is actually in a position to mitigate gun violence on a societal scale — is somehow helpless to act.


The original article contains 601 words, the summary contains 243 words. Saved 60%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“I always ask the question, when something like this happens, what is your plan? What do you do?” he said. “I have a personal security plan. I train in mixed martial arts.”

Actual quote was left out. Bad bot!

[–] Birdie 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I know my mixed martial arts stop bullets.

/s

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Ha! Amateur hour. My kung-fu is so strong, bullets pass right through me.