fuck work

Sweaters

Feeling weird because I've wanted to leave my job since the summer, but things have gotten better recently. Plus I realized that I can't exactly take having an accepting workplace for granted (2 out trans people and a smattering of enbies here) anymore, and I'm getting a raise in the new year.

If I can find a woke place that pays about the same next year I'll probably still leave, but it's more complicated of a calculus than I expected

The real key to quitting energy drinks and soda seems to have been drinking water. And absolute fuck tons of it.

Local group was actually much more understanding of dysphoria then I necessarily expected, it was nice. Glad I shared.

Valerate got me on the verge of tears watching a Minecraft speedrun (her coach is so sweet and has the utmost confidence in her and she wins the finals and now they're good friends 😭)

It's bad when someone fucks up rice. Making me regret eating rice is hard hard HARD ! I love rice no matter the form. I even adore plain rice! I don't care if it's cold, old, sticky, wet, hot or not!

Full time position at work is opening up soon, my manager is getting a (minor, really just straightening out the structure) promotion and has told me and her boss I'm her number 1 pick for the spot. Bump in pay and hours obviously, definitely looking forward to it. Was getting sick of this stupid shit but hopefully in a month work will be better for me. But definitely happy about it, it will look better on the resume and I obviously need full time employment to move out. Unfortunate that it's in this shit state instead of where we're moving. When we get closer to it I'll ask about transferring options.

One of my favourites, Vegan too? Amazing!

Crying tonight because I'm lonely and have no real friends and no one cares about me

why the fuck can other people make connections and friends and everything and i somehow can't.

why am i so fucking broken and so many people just, aren't? like have formed friendships. but not me. I can't.

probably comes down to being fucking miserible and autistic and shit, why the fuck does it effect me like this. but other people not.

Your pecan pie is a chef's kiss.

I've been trying to get into meditation. Yesterday I had a really good experience except for one minor problem: it makes me hyper aware of the mismatch between my brains map of my body and my actual body. Basically it made me dysphoric. Does anyone have any experience with this? It was weird

Holy shit. I have been calling people for a work thing, and I've been doing voice training for 6 weeks and the person, said matter as fact "oh so when will the other lady call me?", because I'm the first lady calling them. Wow.

gender drugs

I got cauliflower earlier now Im gonna make chicken wing style florets and fry em. Yum yum

"you need water to live but if you drink pure water it will kill you" who decided that??? thats so silly

upsetting myself by looking at clothes I can't buy for at least another month (want to reduce chances of bedbugs following me to my new place and I need a friend with me because it's scary)

COME OOOOON, send me the boob juice already! Why did it stop for 3 days?

Waiting is so annoying...

Dreading being at work literally all day tomorrow, although with doing that I'll squeeze all my hours in 3 days

god I hope I can swing this full time position, going to have to interview and shit, but more money to save and it will look good on my resume. Feel kinda like a loser for being this excited about the possibility but I've fr felt so doomer about getting an actual full time job forever in a way I can't describe.

I was buying some sexy (?) black boots with heels, and was asked for my student id for a discount.

The photo on it looks like a middle aged man with malnutrition . It looks nothing like me. Estrogen really is magic (I think it also made my skin whiter?!?!)

For as smart as I think of myself , I don't take care of myself or my house. And when I have bursts of actually doing stuff, it makes me feel happy and that everything is alright.

I'm so tired I'm crying. And I still have to shower tonight

The negative effects of estrogen are not talked about enough

I nearly fell down the stairs today

i'm really worried right now... i think i might be the angriest gamer you've ever heard

I've kept all of my birthday and Christmas cards for a long time now, and often wished I had sorted them by year instead of just lazily throwing them in a box. But obviously they're all in my dead name and so I'm very likely to bin them all anyway. Oh well :shrug-outta-hecks:

Youtube recap is only on the desktop site, as a vertical video. Incredible. It should just be a slideshow I skip through myself.