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submitted 3 months ago by silence7@slrpnk.net to c/news@lemmy.world
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[-] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 386 points 3 months ago

Lairmore had testified that the sandwich “exploded all over” his chest and claimed he could smell mustard and onions. But a photo showed that the sandwich was still in its wrapper on the ground after it hit Lairmore in his bulletproof vest.

So he perjured himself, then? Surely something's going to come of that? No? Huh, okay, then.

[-] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 341 points 3 months ago

If the sandwich did not split, you must acquit!

[-] SacredHeartAttack@lemmy.world 45 points 3 months ago

comment of the century.

[-] Wilco@lemmy.zip 24 points 3 months ago

You missed your calling in life. This comment would have blown up the legal world if said in court.

Im sad it wasn't done.

[-] mikenurre@lemmy.world 109 points 3 months ago

He also claimed he felt it through his Kevlar vest. Didn't know sandwiches are more powerful than bullets.

[-] BC_viper@lemmy.world 142 points 3 months ago

To be fair he was a little bitch, and little bitches feel everything.

[-] Zachariah@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago

ironic since they’re heartless

[-] kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 3 months ago

Is

Is a little bitch

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[-] silence7@slrpnk.net 68 points 3 months ago

There is a big difference between being able to feel something and being injured by it.

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[-] curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 45 points 3 months ago

It hit him right in the fee fees, and badly damaged his already fwagile mascuwinity.

[-] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 33 points 3 months ago

You need special plating to handle those sub-sonic sandwiches.

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[-] P00ptart@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

To be fair, while wearing one you can feel someone lightly patting you on the chest. I'm sure he did feel it but no way on earth did it hurt.

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[-] Hugin@lemmy.world 77 points 3 months ago

So I was on a jury. The officer involved testified on some things that made it sound very bad for the defendant.

Then we saw the body cam of part the interaction. Technically what he said was true but extremely exaggerated. Made us discount everything he said that wasn't on video.

We ended thinking the defendant was probably guilty but they didn't prove it so we decided not guilty.

[-] hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 47 points 3 months ago

Thats how the jury i was on went but it was before body cams. Basically they said dude was "exchanging small packages for money" implying he was dealing drugs. The cops claimed he tossed the "small packages" when he drove off. They never collected these "small packages" so how do i know what they were?

We all thought dude was probably guilty but that the police work was too shoddy to convict. Cop looked pissed on the way out of court.

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[-] TrojanRoomCoffeePot@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago

Cops do it constantly. TBH I'd chalk that level of bullshit up to them constantly using ChatGPT to write their reports now, except that they've been pulling the same bullshit forever and getting away with it nearly every single time.

[-] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 57 points 3 months ago

I firmly believe that police officer testimony that can't be backed up by bodycam footage shouldn't even be admissible. There's essentially no reason for a cop to not have their bodycam turned on at all times unless they specifically chose to turn it off, so there's no reason we should have to accept testimony without it.

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[-] manxu@piefed.social 21 points 3 months ago

Wasn't there a case of police officers badly beating someone and then claiming his blood stains on their uniforms were destruction of police property or some such?

[-] TrojanRoomCoffeePot@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago

I'm not aware of that specific case, but yeah that tracks. I've read about incidents where the cops were enraged about things like victims of traffic accidents or assaults by officers being soaked in blood, getting it on them, and stating that they 'didn't want to risk getting hepatitis/AIDS' as justification for declining to provide lifesaving medical intervention. In some cases, the delay in care led to deaths, while they stood by, and weren't censured by their departments.

They've been using seizures from acute health incidents and tazers both as justification for escalation of force because "suspects were resisting" for quite a while.

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[-] ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 3 months ago

it is actually worth pursuing that…
even just posting comments about that on every news video about it on youtube would help.
we have a rare combination of undeniable, clear video evidence vs. sworn testimony in court that is unambiguously a lie.
There’s no real wiggle room on that.
Why not call prosecutors and annoy them? Or send letters to the judge?

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[-] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 137 points 3 months ago

The fact that this guy had to go to court at all to defend himself is just asinine. These dumb fascist fucks are a bunch of thin skinned bullies.

[-] superglue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 65 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Not really sure its because they are thin skinned. Its part of the facist playbook. You have to make an example of anyone that steps out of line.

[-] Empricorn@feddit.nl 38 points 3 months ago

It's also a pretty clear example of SLAPP prosecution.

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[-] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 26 points 3 months ago

This was a HUGE waste of OUR hard earned tax dollars. This should NEVER have gone to trial. I'm embarrassed to call myself an American.

[-] Wilco@lemmy.zip 20 points 3 months ago

This is clearly judicial harrassment ... this prosecutor is now likely to lose his job. If sandwich guy is smart he will sue about 4-5 different people/groups.

DC is practicing Jury Nullification ... wondering if the Juries there would steamroll these lawsuits forward.

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[-] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 124 points 3 months ago

Border Patrol Officer Greg Lairmore received two "gag gifts" related to the incident — a plush sandwich and a patch featuring a cartoon of Dunn throwing the sandwich with the words “Felony Footlong” — which the defense team argued showed this was not a serious event in his life.

That is amazing.

[-] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago

Did John Oliver send those?

[-] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 83 points 3 months ago

It should be remembered that SEVERAL grand juries initially declined to charge the defendant, despite the ironic traditional reputation of grand juries to "indict a ham sandwich." But they kept going back. They were determined to destroy this citizen.

Obviously, they eventually prevailed, got the Sandwich Assassin into a courtroom, where the "victim" proceeded to blatantly lie in open court:

Lairmore had testified that the sandwich “exploded all over” his chest and claimed he could smell mustard and onions. But a photo showed that the sandwich was still in its wrapper on the ground after it hit Lairmore in his bulletproof vest.

What fucking drama queen LIAR. He should be charged with perjury.

Also, the jurors had sandwiches for lunch. I'm surprised the Trump lawyers didn't try for a mistrial on the grounds that lunch was prejudicial.

I feel bad for the guy for losing a perfectly good sandwich.

Fucking ICE losers.

[-] MiddleAgesModem@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

he could smell mustard and onions.

the horror...

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[-] HailSeitan@lemmy.world 60 points 3 months ago

Continuing the great American tradition of jury nullification

[-] Gates9@sh.itjust.works 16 points 3 months ago

It’s actually pretty insane that this has happened, what, twice now in only a few weeks, both cases related to the fed occupations. I can’t even remember the last time an acquittal like this happened before that, though I don’t follow this stuff closely. I think OJ is the last one I’m aware of but that’s obviously a totally different situation. I was definitely expecting s different outcome, but good for him. I remember in the video they called him “Superman”, lol. I guess so!

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[-] Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 42 points 3 months ago

Sooooo new trend? Subs for fascists?

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[-] iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 42 points 3 months ago

The jury — which feasted on sandwiches for lunch Thursday, according to a person familiar with jury lunches — deliberated the charges for several hours Wednesday and Thursday before delivering the verdict.

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[-] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 41 points 3 months ago
[-] MehBlah@lemmy.world 29 points 3 months ago

He should now sue to have ICE buy him a gift card to replace the sandwich.

[-] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago

🎶There goes my hero... Watch him as he throws! 🎵

[-] Widdershins@lemmy.world 25 points 3 months ago

Every day goes by seeing this in the news and I am reminded of child criminal Brendon Chaney.

WARNING: This kid is a criminal

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[-] manxu@piefed.social 24 points 3 months ago

Soooo... We PAID for this B.S. We paid for the arrest, check the number of uniformed tax-payer funded officers. We paid for the prosecution, we paid for the court, we paid for the jury, we paid and paid AFTER the famously sandwich-indicting Grand Jury wouldn't touch this case.

Somehow it feels like the DA should be relieved of their duties.

[-] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 20 points 3 months ago

A jury of the defendant's peers just said "FUCK YOU!"

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[-] IronpigsWizard@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago
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[-] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago

🎵🎶There goes my gyro

[-] MiddleAgesModem@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Imagine being the cop on the stand talking about the smell of onions and a light stain on his shirt acting like he just came back from 'Nam. Fucking embarrassing.

[-] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago

If the sandwhich don’t fit you must acquit!

[-] falseWhite@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

He threw it in protest. He was acquitted.

You know what to do next time you go to protest!

[-] aesthelete@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Ahahaha, what a hero

[-] OctopusNemeses@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

I picture the jury savoring their lunch sandwich and one of them being like, "So... not guilty?". Everyone nods and goes back to working on their sandwich.

[-] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago
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this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2025
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