As at least one nautically themed childrens' book surely has it: C is for crab.

Coming at programming sideways feels more like a Haskell or Prolog thing, though.

C++ is home sick, currently the doctor (compiler) is not sure whether it's got the flu or a terminal cancer.

Yep, it's the one starting everything.

And doing nothing else. And still something manages to no be right.

I feel like Rust would be some complaint from the compiler saying that some apparently unrelated struct can't be Send/Sync for some inscrutable reason. Or something about pinning a future.

Rust would be some borrow checker compile error like

borrowed data escapes outside of associated function

argument requires that `'1` must outlive `'static`

Technically any language runtime can end in a segmentation fault.

For some languages, in principle this shouldn't be possible, but the runtimes can have bugs and/or you are calling libraries that do some native code at some point.

Ive also seen this, but not from js but node

I have seen a Java program I wrote terminate with SIGSEGV. I think a library was causing it.

Python is being even smarter by trying to underflow the distance to the finish line.