by all accounts its agonizingly painful and has major impacts in your older years.
up to you, but most people I know with chronic pain or similar conditions would give up a foot in height to not be in pain any more
I am a 34 year old who has never been on a date. Not because I am not tall enough. I am 6 ft tall, btw. But because of my general anti-social nature paired with BPD. I am hardly qualified to give dating advice, but I doubt that the right person would care about your height over your other better qualities. Or maybe I am just being romantic.
Imagine realizing 10 years from now that your wife wouldn't have married you if you were shorter.
yeah i guess you are right. its just that i feel my height is not normal.. like im not 5'5-5'7 which considered short,but normal. i feel like my height is extreme short and its like a legitimate reason for not wanting to date me and not because someone is shallow.
Would recommend to anyone in any situation to at least try working with a therapist about body issues before elective surgery. For that matter, having a therapist help them with the psychological consequences of choosing surgery.
Don't know that this is really a dating question overall, so be aware that you might end up with skewed perspectives.
That being said, it's a lot of risk, a lot of pain, and a very long process that's going to interfere with every part of your life. There's multiple long term risks on top of the short term ones.
I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. That's ultimately a highly internal decision. What I'm saying is that before you decide, you need to really dig deep into the possible outcomes, good and bad.
You'll also have to find doctors willing to perform the procedures in the first place. Even for people with dwarfism, not all doctors are willing to take on the risk. You might even have to move to get it done. For someone without an underlying condition, it's going to be harder to find someone willing. And it's definitely going to be out of pocket, dwarfs have trouble getting it covered even when you can point to a medical necessity like equalizing leg length as part of the benefits.
Which, you gotta save up ahead of time usually, they don't work on credit.
At 26, you'll likely be in your thirties by the time you can realistically complete everything involved.
It won't be something that you can just switch off in the middle and go back to normal life either. Yeah, they can stop the lengthening, but you'll still have all the recovery and pain to go through. Makes needing to be fully committed a higher priority than something cosmetic.
And it will likely come with benefits. You won't actually see much of that in dating, but you'll have an easier time moving through the world physically (assuming all goes right, because of it goes wrong you'll be worse off in that regard). I was stuck in a chair briefly at one point, and the height issues are not easy to deal with. I had never really thought about it before, but once your head is under about 5'6", even with the longer arms of being taller otherwise, shit gets difficult. Easier clothes shopping with more options. Better vehicle choices. Dating is where you'd see the least improvement, if you saw any at all there.
Other social issues though, you'll get treated differently. Not always better, but different.
Me? I've seen what all goes on with it. One of my patients back in the day had achondroplasia and opted for the lengthening, both arms and legs eventually. I was only there for the leg lengthening. No fucking way would I go through that for a few inches. That guy was also having surgeries to correct other things, so it wasn't any worse in terms of hassles, but hell to the no just for height.
Anyone wanting it, you have my full support, but no way in hell would I go through it.
No. Many other things you can do have a bigger impact on dating success, without any real downsides.
It's very common to need to work hard to find relationships. That's not going away.
Also at 26 you're still very young. You have a lot of time to keep rolling the dice on meeting new people.
At 26 the dating pool might be starting to thin a little, but if he takes a few years out for elective surgery the dating landscape isn't going to have improved.
I guess you are right. i guess im kind of depressed lately so i try to blame my height for it.
No.
26... and you are giving up already?
My dude.
By the time you are done your agonizing surgery, you and the girls you'll want to be with won't give a crap about those superficial qualities anyway.
I guess you are right. i have to be honest when im having sad times i think about it more often. i guess when im done with this time the need to do it will pass.
That kind of surgery can leave you disfigured like you were in a car accident and will likely lead to bone issues later in life.
As a tall man, I can tell you that personality is way more important. Girls who actually care about your height are not worth your time.
I don't disagree at all but this sounds like "As a lottery winner, I can tell you that money doesn't matter much"
you are right about that. im also thinking that if I will get this surgery and i will get some girl. when i go to sleep at night with her i will probably will think " hmmm, was she still dating me if i was 157 cm as before" and that will f with my head
Nope. You're gonna be happier to find someone who likes you for you, and not someone shallow enough to worry about the length of your legs.
It's fairly dangerous and can introduce lifelong complications.
yeah you are right. but tbh sometime its also about being short in general. you know like every guy has is times when he feel less confident in life and in those times my height take over. i can even feel intimidated by taller guys standing near me. (and i do compensate with a lot of gym and im far stronger than the average guy but still. eye level is annoying sometime.) sorry about my english.
I'm over 6' and experience anxiety and discomfort. Sometimes I feel like strangers are weary of me at the grocery store, etc. My knees and shoulders are shit. It seems like the benefits of size peaked in my 20s and have decreased in the decades that followed. I'm not even a giant, just above average.
I'd rather be less noticeable these days.
Not trying to act like I know what your experience is, just sharing my POV.
Learning to be comfortable with yourself doesn't always come easy - but its a very attractive quality for any person when they cananage it.
Best of luck either way
As a woman the same height as you, the world is for sure not made for people our size which is super annoying. (there’s kid size and adult size, and 5’2 is usually suited for neither ime),
One of my good friends from college was a man a full head shorter than me. He was the nicest person I’d ever met, full of charm and charisma, and had no problems meeting people and finding good people to spend time with. Because his personality shone through and he never outwardly seemed to care he was short, so nobody else did either (he did care sometimes, but was a happy dude anyway).
Height doesn’t matter imo. It might feel like it does, when nothing is sized for you and society says there’s some nebulous ideal, but in the grand scheme of things it’s who you are, and that’s ok. :)
Absolutely do not do it. My friend was a similar age to you and died because of the surgery. He had a pulmonary embolism as a complication during recovery.
im so sorry to hear that. i didnt even knew its a possibility. i thought the worst thing that can happen (like pernament) is to walk funny and not squat as deep. sorry if my english is not good. not my first language.
If women are seriously flat out just not considering you because of your height then they aren't women you want to be with. I'm not necessarily convinced that's the reason, but let's assume it is. Would going through such a surgery make you be okay with potentially being with someone so shallow? And if you did, what would their reaction be once they found out you have gone through the surgery?
I can understand wanting to improve yourself to find a partner. Getting fit. Dressing better. Advancing your career. Being fun to be around. All of these are good things to do. But you can't control your height, and people rejecting you over it (and nothing else) are very shallow.
Like, just imagine you go through it. You find a woman you like. Then she says something like "I hate short men so much." How would you react? Unless you're ready to adopt that world view as well it's not going to end pretty. Even if you took some stance like "short men are the worst, that's why I stopped being one," there's still a chance she's gonna laugh and view you as short.
If your height is genuinely negatively affecting your life and doctors think it's worth pursuing, than go for it. I'm not some sort of biological purist. I'm just saying it sounds like the reasons you're interested in it are short sighted (pun very unintended).
im agreeing with you in 95%. the 5%: I feel like my height is not in the range where im kinda short but its normal and if the woman rejecting me just on this she is shallow. 157cm is only like 7cm from being a legal dwarf.. its not only short... its like... weird. i would have agree with you if i was like 165-170 and cry about it. but 157.. its like shorter than most womens and not only short but extra short. im not self pity myself just to be clear im in a country where there is mandatory service in the military so rn im studying a fancy stem degree and regarding of taking care of my body im in the gym since 16yo (140kg bench and +70kgs weighted pullup 1rms thanks to my 164cm wingspan 🤣 ). but sometimes i feel i would do so much better if i would get like 10 more cm.
Bro, if you can get chicks you're doing fine. 5'6"is still short so you're probably not even going to notice a difference. Don't Frankenstein yourself.
yeah i agree its still short but i feel like its normal short. you know?
I have tbh guys. my ex which i was with for 3 years left me a year ago. and since then i dated with another girl for like 4 dates but i just couldnt see myself with anyone else but my ex and since then im depressed, because i cant imagine my self dating and building a life with anyone else and im very lonely and missing her even now. when im depressed a lot of the times i have the wrong habit to blame it all on my height. idk why. i hope it will pass. thank you all for all your help i didnt thought my post will get so much traffic.
It's your body; you can do what you want with it and there's no "should" or "shouldn't". However, getting a surgery because you feel it will make you more attractive to the women you are around in your daily life right now is probably inadvisable, in the long term.
It's supposedly a pretty hellish recovery process, involving you learning how to walk again. Also, personally, I think the photos of the guys who've had this done are very weird because they're not proportional at all.
It's natural to feel insecure about things, and I'd argue it's natural to feel extra insecure about something like height, when it does seem to be something that makes some people view you differently, and is the focus of a lot of snake oil salesmen online trying to bully their way into your wallet by playing off that insecurity.
I don't want to point out that there are a lot of guys who are short but are in relationships, but it is true. You say you've been in a relationship previously and have dated other women -- obviously those people weren't too worried about your height.
I would recommend against it, personally.
yeah i just feel like im not just short. 157cm is even shorter than most females. i guess im just in dark times in my life and when those time will pass the need to this will pass too.
What would the timeline be before you're back in the dating pool? A couple of years? I'd say it's false economy at this stage, even if it wasn't a horrendous and unnecessary procedure.
probably a year and after it another year of walking funny. and to add that my squat will probably go down by a lot. which will suck. but still i feel like im not kind of short... im short short.
Embracing who you are and learning to aggressively be yourself will get you laid a lot more than a few extra inches of height. It's why when my hairline started receding I just shaved it all off. I didn't want it to look like I was ashamed of my body.
should i do limb lengthening surgery?
No.
Everything I've heard about the surgery is agonizing, so can't really recommend that.