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They're here to save your soul
(lemmy.world)
Nah. They're shopping for a third.
More specifically, a handmaid.
What type of... handjobs?
The kind of jobs where you use your hands to do all of their housework for them for free while bearing the husband's children.
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Nah, they're Mormons. They're actually this crazy
Spencer definitely wants to film his wife being nailed by another man
He wants to be the one to jump on the bed.
We can only assume that if soaking isn't premarital sex, then it can't be extramarital sex either.
Good for Spencer.
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I'll go to your church, you come to my orgy. Fair is fair, right?
Imagine the uproar if you went to a church and said "you're so prudish, you need to fuck more, come to Tinder."
Joseph Smith: "No need to make them exclusive."
Oh sweet summer child.
The church IS the orgy. Now here, have some Kool aid, we're going to see the face of God together.
Liar, this is Flavor Aid.
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Ah yes because Jesus was known for his condescending, judgmental attitudes against others.
Is Jesus God? Because God had some pretty shitty things to say about women and gay folk. 🤷♂️
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Can bukake be used as a baptism if it happens in a church?
Thank you, Internet.
Now there's a brand new sentence (probably)
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The church I grew up believed in immersion, not sprinkling. It's not a no, but it's gonna be more difficult.
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If I saw this in the wild, I'd immediately hire the most attractive single person I could find to reply to this ad, go to church with them, and low-key try to have sex with either/both of them on the side
I've found Bible Satan.
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my partner and I did some butthole fingering at midnight up against a church the year we started dating
we’ve been together for 13 years
thank you jesus
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Weird way of looking for a threesome with another threesome but okay.
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The sound like the second most insufferable couple ever, right after the couple that is going through a very public breakup right now.
Would. Both of them.
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But you guys will put out after Church, right?
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*this is a real offer to cum with us!!
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I'm willing to go to church on her, not interested in the guy though
Give him a chance. He just wants to watch.
Fine by me, I'll teach him a few things like finding the clitoris
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As long as you only soak it, he won't be able to object.
i dont care if you call him "little extra jesus", spencer, PUT HIM AWAY IN CHURCH
Cum with us!
No thanks, Satan gave me a good deal for mine.
Disgusting.
I've got nothing against their kind per se, but do they have to shove it down our throats?
Kinda. The most powerful, fastest growing and largest religions seem to depend on aggressive proselytizing.
The problem is they are Mormon so they can’t save your soul
I don't know. There's got to be at least one decent Morman cobbler.
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Look, we’re all looking for a unicorn. This seems like one of the least effective ways to do it.
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Hey, no kink shaming.
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If you are young enough, church and tinder end up serving the same use so the concept isn't that crazy.
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this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
431 points (96.5% liked)
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