431
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 176 points 3 weeks ago

Nah. They're shopping for a third.

[-] [email protected] 83 points 3 weeks ago

More specifically, a handmaid.

[-] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago
[-] [email protected] 42 points 3 weeks ago

The kind of jobs where you use your hands to do all of their housework for them for free while bearing the husband's children.

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[-] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago

Nah, they're Mormons. They're actually this crazy

[-] [email protected] 104 points 3 weeks ago

Spencer definitely wants to film his wife being nailed by another man

[-] [email protected] 62 points 3 weeks ago

He wants to be the one to jump on the bed.

[-] [email protected] 57 points 3 weeks ago

We can only assume that if soaking isn't premarital sex, then it can't be extramarital sex either.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

Good for Spencer.

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[-] [email protected] 63 points 3 weeks ago

I'll go to your church, you come to my orgy. Fair is fair, right?

[-] [email protected] 47 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Imagine the uproar if you went to a church and said "you're so prudish, you need to fuck more, come to Tinder."

[-] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago

Joseph Smith: "No need to make them exclusive."

[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

Oh sweet summer child.

The church IS the orgy. Now here, have some Kool aid, we're going to see the face of God together.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Liar, this is Flavor Aid.

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[-] [email protected] 50 points 3 weeks ago

Ah yes because Jesus was known for his condescending, judgmental attitudes against others.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Is Jesus God? Because God had some pretty shitty things to say about women and gay folk. 🤷‍♂️

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[-] [email protected] 42 points 3 weeks ago

If I saw this in the wild, I'd immediately hire the most attractive single person I could find to reply to this ad, go to church with them, and low-key try to have sex with either/both of them on the side

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[-] [email protected] 39 points 3 weeks ago

my partner and I did some butthole fingering at midnight up against a church the year we started dating

we’ve been together for 13 years

thank you jesus

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[-] [email protected] 34 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Weird way of looking for a threesome with another threesome but okay.

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[-] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago

The sound like the second most insufferable couple ever, right after the couple that is going through a very public breakup right now.

[-] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago
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[-] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago

But you guys will put out after Church, right?

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[-] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago

*this is a real offer to cum with us!!

[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

With Jesus' little extra

[-] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago

I'm willing to go to church on her, not interested in the guy though

[-] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago

Give him a chance. He just wants to watch.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Fine by me, I'll teach him a few things like finding the clitoris

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

As long as you only soak it, he won't be able to object.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

i dont care if you call him "little extra jesus", spencer, PUT HIM AWAY IN CHURCH

[-] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago

No thanks, Satan gave me a good deal for mine.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago
[-] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago

I've got nothing against their kind per se, but do they have to shove it down our throats?

[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Kinda. The most powerful, fastest growing and largest religions seem to depend on aggressive proselytizing.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago

Cum with us!

[-] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

The problem is they are Mormon so they can’t save your soul

[-] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

I don't know. There's got to be at least one decent Morman cobbler.

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago
[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Look, we’re all looking for a unicorn. This seems like one of the least effective ways to do it.

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago
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[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

If you are young enough, church and tinder end up serving the same use so the concept isn't that crazy.

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this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
431 points (96.5% liked)

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