this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)

Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.

Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances' admins or moderators.

Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to [email protected]

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ooh yeah, that's one of the only reasons I ever lose too. Too smart, too strong, too good of a plan. Happens a lot

[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 year ago (6 children)

In the fighting game community you will often find yourself up against an opponent who is much much less skilled at the game then you are. You go for frame perfect setups and they just mash a wildly unsafe DP on a wing and a prayer and it hits, cause nobody who has any clue what they're doing would actually go for that there.....but by god they did it and it hit. In these situations you have to accept the opponent isn't going to play the smart game you want to play, and instead you must adapt to simply punishing their wildly unsafe risks that they will never ever be conditioned to stop doing.

Here's an infamous example.

Do you know what we call it when a more skilled and nuanced player is defeated by an opponent like this?

WE CALL IT FUCKING LOSING.

I swear only fucking libs can romanticize being a fucking loser this much. The whole concept of "they're actually playing 3 dimensional chess" is bullshit cope as we all well know but someone needs to pull these idiots aside and tell them "You aren't playing 3 dimensional chess egghead. You're playing a goddamn contact sport."

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't understand shit, smash the buttons

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

two people randomly pressing buttons is the only way to have fun at fighting games

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

spam fireballs at each other until one of you to whiffs

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (6 children)

this

I know a guy who started getting into SSBM as Fox and he really got into like, studying framerates of different moves and learning all these complicated tricks and stuff, and the other guy he would play with played Marth and just smashed everything all the time, and the Fox player got so mad every time because he could see that the Marth player wasn't using all the technical tricks and meanwhile half the time Fox would try to do something fancy and end up dashing off an edge or something and giving up stock. Like yeah if you're trying to get to top level play you need to learn the tricks but you also gotta learn how to deal with button mashing.

Totally different kinda game but I've had the same experience with Go. Lots of people overplay in all sorts of ways, leaving weaknesses behind to play faster, making too many groups to take away points, trying to build too large of an area, etc. It's easy to get mad and frustrated because you know that it goes against theory and it shouldn't work - but a lot of times if you try to punish it too early or too severely, you're the one that ends up in a bad situation. You have to respect that their moves have value and that their strategy can work, and you have to engage with what they're doing while remaining calm and looking for ways to bleed them.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

fucking glorious video ngl. literally my only experience with fighting games is never having played one, picking chun li at random at an arcade, and then beating my super experienced friends for 9 rounds straight. this is how we know communism will win some-controversy

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Yea the belief that losing with honor is better than winning in a crass way like not following the script is fundamental to libs.

Libs long term political strategy is smugly saying "you don't know how bad you look right now" while digging their own mass grave.

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

"Vote for me because I'm a woman"

Literally nothing else of merit suggested.

Loses.

We were just too smart

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Rember when she said something right exactly one time when she said "half of Trump supporters are irredeemable assholes, fuck them, were trying to appeal to the ones who might actually conceivably vote for us"

And then she apologized for it 24 hours later.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Basket of deplorables lmao it has its own wiki page

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 year ago

See that's the problem with us liberals. We're just TOO SMART. We're too well educated, too well read. That's why the working class doesn't feel connected to us when we tell them that they need to starve and be homeless and that it's for their own good. They just can't understand our PhD level knowledge about the world and how making bad things happen to them is good actually.

It's not our fault we're too smart it's everyone else's fault for being too dumb to understand our grand vision of "bad things are good actually '!

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Democratic Party can never fail, it can only be failed.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It really is wild that 7 fucking years later their top political priority is still blaming literally anybody except Clinton for losing the easiest election of a lifetime.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Oh my, youve hit a nerve. Cuz I'm just a baby commie, but this shitstain is why i am. hrc's "genius brain" campaign started the ball rolling, ripping the veil off.

The worst part about her, the DNC, disastrous pied piper pro Trump strategy isn't even that it failed and gave us Trump as prez, it's that the Dems didn't learn their lesson. They don't think it's their fault, but the voter's. That they can do it better. After all the pain their fuck up caused, those gormless, arrogant pricks at the DNC and DGA are still using "ratfucking the right into voting for fascism" as a strategy.

I hate them. I hate them so much i could build a scaffold

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

I would argue that they did actually learn their lesson: they can raise way more money when they're running against fascists, and at the end of the day, they don't really care whether they win or lose.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Build the scaffold. Ascend the scaffold. Challenge God. sicko-satan

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

She was too bright for our dim mindsdesolate

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago

One of the downsides of being light itself.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

See, and here I thought it was because she didn't grasp the entire thing about the Electoral College

Smart people are always forgetting about poorly thought out concepts from the founding of their country

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It takes a really high intelligence to not campaign in states fundamental to your election strategy.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm too smart to win smuglord

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

"If liberals are so fucking smart then why do they lose so goddamn always." - literally the only funny line from Cokeroom, the Aaron Sorkin media wank.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I like your stories

I love your gun

Shooting out cop tires sounds like loads and loads of fun

But in my room

Wish you were dead

You bawl like the baby in Eraserhead

I'm too drunk to fuck

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Eraserhead

Man that movie was pain. I can only imagine that David Lynch movies are for the same people who love ghost pepper challenges.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

Ok I agree, so let's give her another shot then, come on libs let her do something really funny

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Clinton's campaign tactics. The slogans are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of politics and electioneering most of them will go over a typical voter's head. There's also Clinton's Liberal outlook, which is deftly woven into her characterisation- her personal philosophy draws heavily from Francis Fukuyama literature, for instance. The Liberals understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these slogans, to realise that they're not just clever- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Clinton truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Clinton's existential catchphrase "Pokemon Go to the polls," which itself is a cryptic reference to Obama's "Time for a change". I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Clinton's genius charisma unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Clinton tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

isn't that a character from a kurt vonnegut novel

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Please tell me this is not a recent article

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why's Hillary look like she just triggered the Third Impact?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

She would have, if we had only let her.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

so-true-fem sooo true!!!!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Almost 7 years later, and they still copeing

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (6 children)

So I have been trying to understand you hexbearians for a while now. I’m pretty sure you like communism, but I’m unsure if you like any current communism-embracing countries though. You dislike US liberals/democrats even though they are the left by US measures. Does this include people like Bernie Sanders and AOC? I have no idea about your stance on libertarians and conservatives. But fascism is definitely bad, right?

Note: I’m not American. In my country, liberals are the right wing.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Here are some general answers. They do not cover every individual opinion of hexbear users, but instead I'm trying to give you the common sentiment.

Hexbear users are communists.

Hexbear users are both critical of and supportive of existing communist countries.

Hexbear users do not like US Democrats because their goals are anti-communist.

Hexbear users have a wider variety of opinions of Bernie Sanders. He is not a communist and therefore will never be fully supported by Hexbear users. Some Hexbear users believe that Bernie Sanders' goals are not anti-communist because they expose Americans to some socialist concepts. Other Hexbear users believe that Bernie Sanders' goals are anti-communist because they distract Americans from the more complete concept of communism by offering piece-meal solutions to capitalism.

Hexbear users are more united on opinions of AOC. She is not a communist and therefore will never be fully supported by Hexbear users.

Hexbear users do not like libertarianism and conservatism because their goals are anti-communist. However, individual libertarians and conservatives may have the potential to be future communists.

Hexbear users do not like fascism.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's really concise, thank you. Now I can enjoy the sarcasm as it should.

One more if you would, what about current state Russia? I've seen some posts supporting their side in the Ukraine conflict, which I found odd.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Current state Russia is awful and Putin is horrible.

There are no good sides in the conflict, hexbear "supports" Russia because multipolarity is preferable to complete domination by NATO and the US hegemony, which a Russian defeat would contribute towards. When you see people here defending Russia, it's often just for the sake of pushback against the extremely one-sided picture that Western media tries to paint, where evil Russia is invading peaceful Ukraine because they hate freedom and democracy.

Ukraine is a pawn in this game and its citizens are the biggest victims, but Ukraine is fighting this war as a proxy for NATO, who are happily tossing thousands of soldiers and civilians into Russian artillery in an effort to weaken Russia and turn Ukraine into another Afghanistan while feeding the military industrial complex.

There are no good sides in this conflict and no good outcomes. It's just a matter of how many Ukrainians and Russians have to die before this pointless war can finally end. Make no mistake, Ukraine has frequently rejected diplomatic proposals and not been particularly cooperative in negotiations, and Zelensky has fully sold Western media on his fairytales about how "We will keep fighting until Russia has paid for its crimes!" or whatever while, again, people at the frontlines are getting bombed into fine paste and making little to no progress. And for what? "Justice?" Lmao.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We aren't that complicated. We're mostly Marxist Leninist communists and anarchists here, I'm sure some other tendencies as well as we're a non sectarian left space.

@[email protected] answered your specific questions. I just wanted to add what we generally are in case its confusing you.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Liberals/democrats

We hate them, yes

Bernie Sanders and AOC

A lot of people were radicalized by Sanders in some way so many have a soft spot for him, but we recognize that he's ultimately just a social imperialist

Current Communist countries (or, as we refer to them, Actual Existing Socialism)

There's some debate but the Hexbear Party Line, so to speak is probably something like:

  • Critical support for China, DPRK, Vietnam
  • Uncritical support for Cuba
  • I don't think anybody knows much about Laos (and Nepal too, probably?) but generally they're viewed positively

Libertarians, Conservatives, Fascists

same-picture (and yes we hate them all)

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

US politics is just two right wings fighting over whether to be particularly depraved in one way or another.

AOC and Bernie are capitalists that sheepdog budding leftists into putting false hopes into capitalism and the Democratic party.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Usually the place to ask this would be as it's own thread, but the answer is that we uniformly despise "libertarians" (in the American sense), Republicans, and fascists, and we support socialist states, though with varying levels and types of criticism.

We dislike Bernie and the Squad, but some people oscillate between that and liking them every time they tweet something that sounds nice. I personally think a Congressperson we elect to only tweet and vote "present" on monstrous bills is not worth dog shit on the bottom of a shoe unless they are tweeting state secrets (and even then, it'd need to be really targeted to be useful).

Note: don't worry, in America, liberals are also rightwing, just the "moderate" right compared to the Republicans.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I still like Bernie and AOC shrug-outta-hecks I know a good amount of other hexbears do like Bernie as well.

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