chapotraphouse

Xi tells Trump about his experience during the cultural revolution and Trump, thinking he's Xi will appreciate the gesture because he's a communist, goes to China and pays a bunch of money to do a mini cultural revolution re-enactment in a chinese village, complete with dunce hats and right-wingers being forced to clean toilets.

Xi shows up and witnesses all this then Trump says like "waddya think, you love this stuff right?" then Xi explains how he feels much more conflicted about that part of his life than Trump thinks and he didn't appreciate Trump reviving all these memories for him

Trump apologizes and Xi forgives him and says "It's not all bad I guess this is pretty funny", then Trump puts on the dunce hat and goes, "wanna go clean some toilets?" and they both go clean some toilets.

"Bricks"

Xi has a bunch of friends that he hangs out with. They play classic boardgames like Catan, hence the group is called "Bricks". Trump is in his room listening to broadway musicals on headphones while the friends play games in the living room. The whole episode is from Trump's POV as he has to pretend to not care about the cool friends having fun. Every time he leaves the room, to go to the fridge to get a snack or to go to the toilet etc, he passes by the friends playing, and each time he makes increasingly awkward comments about how he actually makes a lot of money and doesn't actually need to share an apartment with another guy. Xi has to wait until Trump is back in his room to smooth the situation over

Xi creates a TikTok account called “shit my roommate says” that ends up exploding in popularity due to the non stop verbal diarrhea and general idiocy spraying out of trumps mouth constantly. Xi has to try and manage Trump to maintain the illusion that everything is normal while also keeping the whole thing going since he’s making so much money. Trump’s narcissism and idiocy end up bringing the whole charade to a screeching halt, or so we think until the credits roll and we see that Ci never stopped posting the TikToks

Trump opens the door

Special Guest Kim Jong-un rolls past him on a skateboard

"Mind if I slide into your DMz"

Audience goes fucking ballistic

Donnie's cell phone plan has been cancelled again. He is really upset because he he can't follow how his investments in BullCoin, the world's first beef tallow-based cryptocurrency, is going.

Xi agrees to let Donnie get his WiFi password if he pays half the bill. Donnie pays and tries to sell Xi some of his BullCoin. Xi declines and Donnie gets mad, claiming that Xi is taking advantage of him and being unfair.

The thermostat is in Donnie's room and to retaliate and make Xi buy his BullCoin he turns off the heating. Xi puts on warm clothes and changes the WiFi password. Although it is annoying to do with gloves on, Xi manages to work on his model railway.

Having spent all his money on BullCoin, Donnie has no money and the box with all his warm clothes was thrown in the Hudson river during the move due to an altercation with the movers. Now Donnie is cold and he has no WiFi. He tries keeping warm by wrapping himself in old fastfood wrappers.

At the end of the day Donnie turns the heat back on and Xi changes the WiFi password back. The episode ends with Donnie being mad about his loser friend Z not being grateful enough for getting the WiFi back.

Don&Xi in "The Castle of Light":
Both Donald Trump and Xi Jinpin hire the same architect for their respective projects, and due to a series of misunderstandings, the architect believes it's one and only project, and tries his best to reconcile their contradictions. Trump wants a new Trump tower, a vanity project of ozymandian proportions, or in his words: "Huge. Tremedous. Bigger than anything you've ever seen, ever." He wants it to dwarf all else, cast a shadow on the town at day shine like the sun at night. He sets no limit on budget, energy consumption or ecological impact, even offering to get rid of an regulations it might impede on. Only one constraint: It cannot, must not cast a shadow on his golf field at any time of the day.

Xi Jinpin wants to build a huge block of social housing to solve homelessness. And he wants it built on top of the hated golf course. And to fit his secundary goal of reducing carbon emissions.

The architect, best of his trade, takes this as a single challenge. He ends up making a building that is somehow located right over the golf course, but never casts a shadow, being made half of glass and spinning on a rail so that the concrete "foot" of the building is always in the direction opposite of the sun. The rotation is powered by subterranean rivers. Lenses and mirrors are used to further reduce the shadow. At first, Don is amazed while Xi is angry that so much resources went into what should've just been a bunch of concrete towers. But then Trump hates it because it's filled with poor people. He doesn't even want to play golf under it anymore because he hates having poor people above him, staring through the huge windows, the golf course ends up repurposed as common gardens. The building, while able in theory to "shine like the sun at night", doesn't; because the inhabitants prefer to turn off the lights like normal people. And of course, Trump has to foot most the bill since Xi had set a precise budget and said he'd pay no more while Trump said he'd pay extra to any extent necessary.
Xi is at this point very amused.
Until the castle of light becomes an anarchist commune.

< To be continued]

Episode idea: "A Very Important Dinner"

Xi is having over the in-laws and desperately wants to impress them, but he's running out of time: So he trusts Trump with handling the food.

But uh-oh! Don put it off til the last minute and got McDonalds instead! So he tries altering the food to make it less obvious ala "Steamed Hams"

Xi is the straight man, Trump is the cooky schemer getting into trouble.

Due to a clerical error they both have been leased the same apartment in NYC and can't back out of the deal or risk huge financial penalties.

Xi is always going on about adherence to his 5 month plan.

Trump is always getting caught up in get rich quick schemes.

Xi reads the news paper, Trump reads the tabloids.

They both have to get along and pay the rent on time!

Watch these two opposites collide every Thursday on the CW!

It's like Perfect Strangers but Trump is Balkie and Xi is constantly bewildered by his insane Yankee behaviours

Trump already did Kramer's shower force thing