Sweet baby Jesus I can see this whole thing in my head every time I read it, these previews are so cookie cutter it's insane
Greentext
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
And jack will cheer on the Gaza genocide in a press briefing.
AI will create this movie 20 years from now, I hope you're happy.
I'm predicting 20 months
Psh there's probably some Jabroni already working on it as we speak
Final shot is Jack Black clumsily wading through a poison swamp, “not again!”
The swamp itself farts with every green bubble that boils and pops on the surface.
I absolutely hate this, but can't deny that it's accurate
"Praise the sun!" Start trashing the cinema and blasting take on me full volume
That was unfortunately a Jack Black of a different era. This one abandons his lifelong friend to be as hollywood safe as possible for saying meanie-bobeanie things about trump (as a comedian on a stage that is known for political jokes)
Pretty good soundtrack too.
Based af
THIS SUMMER, ROB SCHNEIDER DOOP DE DERP DEE DOODLEY DERP
"What? Who cares? YOU'LL WATCH IT. Fuck you."
This summer, unfortunately, Rob Schneider is
going, FULL MAGA.
zoom in on Schnieder doing a goofy face while wearing a red baseball cap as a slide whistle plays and he says "Who's afraid of the big, bad gays?"
The fact that they show a Dark Souls poster and proceed to describe an Elden ring movie is very funny. Like the producers don't know the difference.
they'd be proud of the fact that they never played video games, let alone the source material.
look at interviews surrounding halo paramount, "we want to tell our own story in this setting" then proceeds to make garbage that actively disrespects the source.
“We didn’t look at the game. We didn’t talk about the game. We talked about the characters and the world. So I never felt limited by it being a game.”
The quote is amazing.
that's an even better quote than the one I remembered
Movie is called Dark Souls, plot is Elden Ring. Hollywood on par for the course.
I hate that I can visualize this greentext so easily.
Yeah, that probably exactly what's gonna happen. Just make sure to end me before that please.
Well, I know people would watch it.
I did not watch the Minecraft movie myself, no desire to experience a full theater of people throwing popcorn around screaming chicken jockey.
Movie industry is fucked.