Terrible Estate Agent Photos

Jakscuse me?

Is that a porn house?

The house that Dogecoin built.

This building was designed to make a statement and that statement is "I have tech money." A detail that jumped out at me is the garage is connected to the kitchen via a large glass door; the cars parked therein are meant to be part of the decor of the house.

The state of the place makes another statement, and that statement is "I very suddenly don't have tech money anymore." The building itself looks 99.9% finished, there's some wires hanging out of a wall in one picture which makes me think there should have been another television installed or something, and work on the yard was abandoned pretty early on. I doubt the guy who ordered this monstrosity has spent a single afternoon here before his stocks collapsed and/or he went to jail for wire fraud or something. Seller is a tech brosn't.

It’s wild that this room is basically the entire living space. There are two small bedrooms and bathrooms, and then this. They list the kitchen separately but if I’m interpreting the dimensions correctly it’s a 20x24 foot room with a kitchenette, a stripper pole, and a ten-person hot tub. And 8 TVs, 6 of them in the middle of the main window, although I suspect they might be photoshopped in.

I see a lot of theories here but, if we're honest about it, there's no making sense of this.

Swinger house.

A group owned it for fucking.

No one even commenting on the bathroom. Three miles of countertop for two sinks. A giant bathtub nook with an expensive but rather small tub.

For when you just gotta relax in a hot tub while watching a movie while your strippers dance on a pole and cook you dinner by the light of a chandelier and you also need rapid access to your small aircraft that fits in your garage.

The high ceilings add to the open and airy ambiance, while the living room takes center stage with a stripper pole for entertainment and a 10-person hot tub, perfect for relaxing or hosting unforgettable gatherings.

They're sex people.

I kinda like the honeycomb lighting, but that’s it

is the stripper pole load bearing?

also if i didn’t know any better i would say that thing in front of the pool is a folding bed so the room also counts as one of the spacious bedrooms they advertise on zillow. but it’s hard to tell even with the listing and the additional photos. one benefit of the listing is seeing that the other massive room is an indoor basketball court though.

Is no one going to mention the horrific slip risk on that marble tile? Stepping on that with wet feet is a TBI waiting to happen

I've brought up some of my issues in other comments, but here's the rest of them:

• The front door doesn't feel centered and the side panel really bothers me.

• Why do I need a massive clear wall into the garage?

• The jutting, unfinished bricks on the interior walls is just asking for people to scrape themselves on it.

• Those are relatively low doorknobs combined with abnormally tall doors.

• In the bathroom: why put the faucet for the tub there, where it blocks easy access to that big space by the wall?

• Why do you have such massive bathroom sinks, with the faucets struck way off into a tiny corner of them? Is it for doing the laundry, because there isn't a washer/dryer shown anywhere, and I didn't see a hookup for one, either.

• The second bathroom sinks seem more reasonable, but the pics of the second bathroom seem to leave part of the room out.

• It's such a comparatively small bedroom for such a large place.

• They're not showing the inside of the closets, which makes me think they're very small. Or maybe they just forgot them.

• Literally half of the house is a drive-through garage!

• The little house to the left is also included on the property. There aren't any pictures of the inside, possibly due to what looks like a collapsed roof.

And going back to comments I made elsewhere, but which still bother me:

Why is there a gap around the edge of the Jacuzzi? Someone's going to break their leg!

AND WHERE IS THE REFRIGERATOR?!

Just pop in some cupboards ten feet in the air in case the fucking Harlem Globetrotters come round for a bath and a poledance.

Is that a stripper pole on the middle?

Hot tub streamers optimal space

That is by far the worst use of 2,000+ sqft I’ve ever seen.

And I’m actively house hunting for around that size, so I’ve seen some… interesting spaces.

You obviously don't sous vide much.

Someone who has never cooked a meal designed that kitchen

There's no space for a fridge. I see an outlet on the wall but why would you not made a space for it.