this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2024
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Here's to a new year! Here's my first mega try (also first time posting in a while due to reasons) but heya! Admittedly struggled a fair bit with self doubt and anxiety on this one as put it off for a while/other things caught up with me but I figure I'll be glad I did it once I've done it. It's kinda being done last minute though, so admittedly there's that...

I'd been intending to make the mega about something else originally when I signed up, but that would require more time on my part (and I just binge read this recently, so it all works out). Anyways, my subject of the week is The Summer Hikaru Died; it's a queer (BL) horror manga which is currently also scheduled for anime release next year (2025).

Content warnings naturally follow and further details will be spoilered.

CONTENT WARNINGSGrief, body horror and (very debatably IMO) mild gore, supernatural horror (ghosts/"impurities", otherworldly entities), death I suppose though that one's a given

PremiseThe titular Hikaru went for a walk in the woods, died, and something came back wearing his body, something that doesn't quite know how to be human or mortal; "Hikaru" returned, to ensure that his best friend, Yoshiki, would not be lonely. Romantic tension (and tension of a less pleasant kind) ensues.

The plot/things I like about it thus far (light spoilers)Yoshiki and "Hikaru" have an absolutely great dynamic- their relationship may not be fully healthy, but their intentions seem to both be in the right place, as are their deep feelings (Yoshiki's for Hikaru and increasingly for "Hikaru," and Hikaru and "Hikaru's" own true feelings) and honesty in this regard, despite the latter "Hikaru" being effectively an imposter of sorts. (it's complicated, but these are increasingly distinguished separately and I really like that process as well)

"Hikaru" is, while not quite a blank slate, extremely new to the concept of even just "being" in the sense that mortal creatures and individual organisms(?) do. They've had to learn (and Yoshiki has had to confront them about) the value and significance of life and death; they've increasingly established boundaries, and they approach the world with a liveliness and curiousity that is really cute (the original Hikaru was also lively FWIW, but "Hikaru" is experiencing everything anew even if they retain the memories).

Yoshiki, on the other hand, is both grappling with his grief and loss of Hikaru, while finding comfort (and discomfort alike) in his imposter, and in guiding them through a new world or state of being. He's finding his resolve and moral/ethical backbone interacting with "Hikaru" (very blue-and-orange morality dynamics, though they're learning), he's experiencing what could be described as a rocky but determined romance and queer experimentation at the same time "Hikaru" is being introduced to notions of attraction and desire (beyond instinctual desire to consume).

Their pairing in so many ways should not work (or rather would be usually destined for a tragic end). From the start, there have been several points where by all means it should have met such an end. But their determination and willingness to meet the other where they're at and gradually be understanding with the other is both fascinating and something I'd feel optimistic for (and interested in seeing play out further).

Anyways, I should cut myself short at this (and make sure to have something properly written beforehand for next time). But anyways, thus far it's a strong recommend (if you feel alright with the content warnings) from me.


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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (11 children)
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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (3 children)

2025 is the year of wifeposting doggirl-thumbsup

For instance: My wife’s chickpea curry smells so good doggirl-kiss

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

Wifeposting catgirl-heart

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Facebook is feeding me cute lesbian art and I’m here for it

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (3 children)

cloying, sadwrote a thing for the self improvement thread

Not to be weird but like, I genuinely like a lot of you and respect and feel some kinship with you as comrades and having Gender and uh, I really don't have any IRL ppl right now to talk to or seek praise or approval from and uh, sorry to sound like a sad sack or pathetic but like, I'm not doing well mentally and have been trying really hard to improve and ugh, I just need someone to tell me they're proud of me or someone IRL to hold me, it's been like 5 years since I've had anyone hold me and oh my God I'm so lonely, like my heart physically hurts sometimes from feeling so lonely and thurston aaaa

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

Look on the bright side everyone. If we make it to 2026, we get to deal with obnoxious USians getting themselves off over the 250th anniversary of the United States.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (4 children)

What gender even am I in my dreams, last one I remember being was vampire or something dracula-flow

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (4 children)

relationship stuffI have a partner now and it's my first poly relationship. I met their other partner and they're really cool. We talked quite a bit and there were no weird vibes. I'm feeling loved and happy for the first time in a while catgirl-happy

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

if you've made it to 2025 you've gotta stay for the rest of the decade btw. warranty period's over. the second half is when every decade goes crazy anyway you can't miss that shit

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (11 children)

dooming ~~sorry~~I can't do it. I couldn't do it before and I definitely can't now. I am weak and a quitter. I can't. I just can't do any of this. There is no "better future". Its over and I'm fucked.
spoiler si/death I've known forever I'd end up killing myself. I know how it'll go. My family will be devastated. I wish I could make them understand.

Alone on the street somewhere. What an end. Its not fair. Why couldn't I have been happy.

urgesthinking of relapsing. Someone talked me down last time and if I do it again I'll feel like I just wasted her time. I think I can keep holding on for a little bit.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (3 children)

awww, i don't want this year to end. it's been the best one of my life sadness

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

CW: Depression, Dysphoria, STIsBeen dealing with an immense amount of dysphoria and depression the last couple of days. It's hard to overlook the fact that I've lost a not insignificant portion of my family and friends due to being trans, including a spouse. It's especially depressing during this time of year because of the holidays, which were generally when everyone got together for it, but now it's just me and my mother and even then that's before she heads off to other family's houses. Yeah it's Christmas and I don't celebrate, but still.

Also I can't help but just become immensely sad since I can never have children. Seeing and hearing people talk about their kids as of late has been absolutely crushing my soul. Couple that with that I still have body image issues because my body just didn't shape up entirely perfectly and it's just hell for me.

One final thing is that I have an appointment for STI tests with my doctor. Here's to hoping I don't have Syphilis from that asshole.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (5 children)

I made this cat account and now the puppygirl pronouns are hitting me in my weak spot making me question myself

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

Join the ouppy girl uprising doggirl-smug

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

getting compliments on my look in ffxiv is perhaps more euphoric to me than is reasonable doggirl-sweat

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

Stayed up for 24 hours and then immediately fell asleep after dinner doggirl-sleep

Now I’m awake at 11pm doggirl-sweat

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Started 2025 with my mom misgendering me, she'd already been dead naming me today just lovely

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

too tired to gender. today I am a blob

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Happy new year! May all your gender goals come closer to fruition and all transphobes meet a grisly end.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

timmy-pray death to transphobes

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

People say to dress for your body type…but that requires me to analyze my body, so no thank you doggirl-sleep

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (6 children)

Witchy stuff

Today is a special day for some witches. It's a Dark Moon, and the last new moon of the year, and falling on the 30th one of Hecate's special days in the Hellenistic tradition. This lineup won't reoccur for many years, I may never see it again.

And last night i slept amazingly for the first night in a month and my mother in law is properly and intentionally using my gf's pronouns just out of the blue after 5 months of insisting she never would. There's magic in the air!!!! Less than 2 hours until the moon's zenith for me. I'm so happy! Time for Deipnon!!

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

committed to having a better handle on my emotions in 2025

it's been a very relaxing week minus battling the sniffles. just doing my own thing

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

got regifted some expensive whisky and it's yummy

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (4 children)

dysphoriaSometimes I feel so wide! doggirl-tears
I feel like I’d be narrower at my height if I was cis.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

The other day, my friend apologized for accidentally touching my tit (he actually didn't; just touched the pillow next to it). I'm not out to him exactly, but he's also sorta been asking if I'm a girl for like 2 years now (including indirectly earlier that day). Maybe I should give a fuller answer than a very non-convincing "no" while looking away embarrassedly.

Anyways, rare cis person not being clueless? Kinda surprised because he tends to be a misogynistic and such. Sorta wonder if he just wants me to be a girl just because that would make him less gay.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (3 children)

If I read yuri manga, I will hate myself less. Yuri manga is the cure.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (3 children)

scary!imagine being a cishet scared

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

[volcel-police]

DynamicI am now in a dynamic play relationship with another subby switch. We each set goals for the week and the loser has to dom. We have incredible chemistry so it is intensely motivating.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (9 children)

Y'all know about nullos? You should

Nullification is a type of SRS where the genitals are removed, and the genital area is completely flat/smooth, with only a small hole for the urethra left. The procedure is done by a few clinics in the USA and Mexico. People who have had the procedure or want it, refer to themselves as nullos.

There's three main motivations for getting it, in my anecdotal experience talking with other nullos: first is obviously gender dysphoria. I'm agender, and so are most nullos.

A second is asexuality: some want their bodies to reflect their sexuality, and for some it's a combination of gender and sexuality that makes them feel more comfortable having a body without genitals.

A third, smaller but still significant portion of nullos are cis gay men, bottoms, who from as far as I can tell desire it as expression of their sexuality.

I'm in a small community online (OK, a discord server, lol) of nullos, and it's a genuine 50/50 split between "I'm ace never want to do anything remotely sexual" and the most wildly kinky people I've ever fucking met. Also the most accepting people I've ever met.

Small note, there's some overlap with people with BIID? Which is interesting

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Found the vaporwave theme on hexbear, I'm now reading y'alls comments with that filter now kirby-wave

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

i'm sure there's still an original concept to be found in the "mascot horror" genre. maybe another few thousand games and we'll get it

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

Heya ☺️ catgirl-salute

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Probapoly: the feeling of when you're probably polyamorus but have no romantic partners and no idea if you'd actually be into it if you had a single, monogamous relationship

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh yeah, it's artie's turn for the mega catgirl-heart

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Found a Super Jammie Dodger at the Super Tesco doggirl-happy

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

Shower fixed doggirl-happy

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Did some real cringe shit at the gym and feel very retroactively embarrassed but like nobody saw so I guess it's okay but I'm actually worried about the employees watching the CCTV and being like "damn, what a (SLUR redacted-1redacted-2)

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