Missing the classic, "You speak so well!" Like, wtf, did you expect me to speak in pure jive and clicks???
this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
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What it is big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap.
Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da help!
Jive-ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Shiiiiit.
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I'm white, and married to a black woman. Gotta say, this is pretty accurate. Add shitty service from wait staff when the white person a table over gets regular checkups, and doctors not taking anything she says seriously, even when her symptoms are obvious. And people being rude to her when she asks a question, but nice to me when I ask them the same question a moment later.
It's one thing to know, in abstract, that racism exists. But experiencing it through what my wife goes through on a daily basis has really opened my eyes. It feels like we exist in 2 separate worlds when we're not out together.
doctors not taking anything she says seriously, even when her symptoms are obvious
I'm married to a white woman, and she also experiences this, so this might be a gender discrimination problem, rather than (or in addition to) a racial discrimination problem, sadly.
I think it's both. It probably starts with gender discrimination (as the medical field highly favors men. Look at the differences in how we are taught about heart attacks for men and women for example) but then on top of that, it adds the racial discrimination.
Black women (and especially queer black women) are among the most discriminated groups sadly
That's why the term "misogynoir" exists. It's both, and they pile on and increase each other.
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Well known gender thing, worse for women of color.
The prejudices stack together, unfortunately
This RPG's rules are bullshit!
Welcome to #outside
Older doctors were literally taught that black women have a higher pain tolerance. This in part originated from an early gynecologist doing experiments on black women slaves without bothering to give them any anesthetics. His justification for it was basically that they could handle the pain, and there are doctors practicing medicine today that still belive it.
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Same here. Even women doctors have been shitty to my white wife over things that should be obvious or at least taken seriously.
I can only imagine black women have it worse and that makes me pretty furious considering what I’ve already seen.
Yep.
Being a woman trying to get your medical concerns taken seriously is hell.
Can't imagine how awful it would be to stack "not white" on top of that, too.
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To add: some of the comics, as well as your, examples are good examples of intersectional discrimination. To take a particular one: the doctors-not-taking-you-as-seriously thing happens to all women. But it's much worse for black women in particular. And it's also not as bad for black men as it is for black women.* So, that's an issue she's facing in this severity because she's black AND a woman. There are many such intersectional issues, and it's important to acknowledge and work against them. Anything related to children is similar.
- I remember that from a statistic, I'll try to look it up if anyone would like me to
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Imagine people being racist.
Thank you for attending my TED talk.
No no no. They are not racist, just curious (answer of my colleague when pressed on his questions).
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Here's a bonus I saw at college: "Can I touch your hair?" it's an especially weird one.
I was blonde growing up in a middle eastern country and people used to want to touch my hair all the time. It's just curiosity.
No, it can only be white on black racism
white guy here.
I had a lady do that to me and my beard in college.
it was weird at the time but scratched a physical contact itch I had no idea I had. the interaction started a long lasting infatuation with black matriarchs.
my point is, it's fine to tell people no because it's a limit of yours, but some people get curious about things that are new(to them) and it shouldn't be held against them. who knows you might even like it.
The problem is volume. You had one interaction years ago. Black ladies get this sort of thing a lot more. I'm sure it gets exhausting.
This is only tangentially related to the point but when else am I going to get to share this story:
I'm a tall white dude with long, thick, slightly curly hair (when short it curls, when long the weight pulls it into waves), my entire life it's been expected of me to just let women touch my hair and go "god I wish I could have this" or similar
I had a few black girl friends (note the space) growing up and they saw that a few times and we bonded a bit on this hair shit, but they were actually shocked that people at least asked them whereas I'd get molested without asking
One day an older black woman did it in front of my friend Alex and she puts on her heaviest "I'm from the ghetto bitch" accent and yells "nigga why you not even ask to touch his hair? You're a sistah, you should know better!" And smacks her hand away from me
The look of shock on that woman's face and level of apology she gave me was the weirdest fucking thing I've ever experienced racially in my life. I got to see, just for a moment, what it looks like when white people realize theyre being super racist and want to undo it. It was awkward as fuck
I'm a Latino and I grew out my hair during the pandemic with the goal of donating it. My hair comes out curly when it is long. One day, when we were back to seeing people face to face, a black woman asked if she could touch my hair. I was a little surprised that she asked, lol.
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Speaking of touching hair, this isn't really related but what are you supposed to do when holding a baby?
Like I held my family members baby the other day at Thanksgiving and my brain just defaulted to petting their nearly bald head like my cat 😭
Either that or chew on its ear. That is normal, right?
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I'll give you a bonus one: "But where are you originally from?"
Or white person: “You speak [West European language I was raised in] very well”
Me: “Uh thanks you too”
White person:
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"where are you from?"
Here.
"But where did you grow up?"
Here.
"Where were you born?"
Here.
"But where were your parents from?"
The town over.
"Okay but where were your grandparents from"
[Other country]
"Ah okay now I can finally put this label on you and refer to you as [country]an whenever I talk about you and hang all these assumptions on you"
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It doesn't matter what the stats are, it's insanely rude.
What is sad is that this will be viewed as normal and acceptable next year because saying it's not acceptable is "woke."
What type of racism is this? It’s an everyday sort but contains institutional and casual types. Is there a label for it?
30 Rock had an episode where Liz thought Tracy couldn't read. I loved his label for it:
"The subtle racism of lowered expectations."
“Bing Crosby said that!”
“…no, Bill Cosby said that.”
“That’s racist!”
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yeah, prejudice.
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