this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 34 minutes ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 18 points 16 hours ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Firehose. For grease fires lol. Yes.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 14 hours ago

Absolute fun multipliers!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago

And a few buckets of ice

[–] [email protected] 83 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Make sure the turkey is fully frozen before you put it in.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

And throw it in quickly! Wouldn't want it to cook unevenly.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Also, since there will be a bit of oil splattering, make sure to quickly secure your lid with clamps. Hope you have a blast!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 minutes ago

Any chance we can stop trying to murder the OP?

[–] [email protected] 111 points 1 day ago (3 children)

be sure to fill that baby alllll the way up before dropping the bird in from about counter-height.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Also make sure the bird is frozen totally solid before slamming it in

Edit: Goddamnit I should have read the other comments first lol. Sorry for the 1000th repeat!

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We usually invite the whole family to watch the bird plopping ceremony.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

"All right kids! Gather 'round! We're gonna plop the turkey!!"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 23 hours ago

Oh, the humanity!

[–] [email protected] 36 points 22 hours ago

Such a setup would make me leave the premises faster than a bunch of MAGA-brain uncles could do.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 17 hours ago

I wouldn't worry about seasoning, it's gonna get plenty of smoke.

[–] [email protected] 138 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Get a pot of water ready for any flare ups!

[–] [email protected] 114 points 1 day ago

Thanks, Obama…

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Don't forget that it always tastes better when the turkey is fried while frozen solid

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Seasoning?

Monoammonium phosphate in a Class B shaker.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 day ago

It’s a fire extinguisher, for those who might need to look it up (like I did)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago
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[–] [email protected] 89 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Just go ahead and call the fire department now. It'll save everyone time.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 day ago (1 children)

“Good afternoon. I would like to book 2 firetrucks and an ambulance for 3pm today. Yes, I can hold.”

[–] [email protected] 8 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

I'm sorry but all of the county's fire trucks and both ambulances have been booked. Would you like to go on the waiting list?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 16 hours ago

Make sure to have plenty of ice to cool down the oil

[–] [email protected] 94 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Well, how's his wife holding up?

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Was their apartment rent controlled?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

Well, at least the children...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

Medium rare even.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 day ago

I've heard they're best when cooked from frozen

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Carbon monoxide, my favorite seasoning

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

Propane is mostly gonna be releasing H2O vapor and CO2. But also some other shitty contaminants that the gas industry doesn’t like to talk about.

Now a charcoal barbecue on the other hand is my preferred way to cook a turkey, and would also kill the family if I was dumb enough to do it indoors.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago

I like how you're taking precautions by making sure your floor doesn't get damaged from the oil splatter. Great job!

[–] bdonvr 29 points 1 day ago

If your oil is a bit too hot toss in some ice cubes

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago

I'm just so glad all the comments have such useful advice for folks. I second the tips suggesting throwing it in frozen and adding more water when things get spicy.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 16 hours ago

sumac gives a nice flavor to fried human skin

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Toss in a few plugged in power strips and extension cords to add a nice spicy flavor to everything.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 18 hours ago

Always the hot sauce!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

Just a pinch of a fire truck on standby should do the trick.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Keep doing what you’re doing.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago
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