this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
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chapotraphouse

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I get this visceral disgust when people feel the need to maintain their heterosexuality like it's a coveted state of being. Like it has to be some accomplishment. Like any exploration of other sexualities or any cessation of desire has changed you as a person. You don't even have to like every girl if you don't want to, man. What a dumb game to play for no gain. When I play a dumb game for no gain, I get to do submission wrestling and it's a lot of fun. When you play a dumb game for no gain, you tell me that I'm touching sweaty dudes in BJJ.

I hope this post is enshrined on my heterosexuality record and follows me to the pearly gates where I have to explain to Peter why I don't give a fuck about how straight I am.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Let's clean house, "gold star gay" needs to go too for the same reason.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

tfw you want to be a gold star bisexual, but there's still genders you haven't slept with kitty-birthday-sad

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Well to be fair, you're talking to/about a Fox New host.

Like, what else do you expect, lol.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 years ago

When fox news drops the "no homo" into the mix. 👌👌👌👌

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 years ago

Great size. Look thick. Solid. Tight.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 years ago

"I'm not gay, but I think the guy I'm fucking might be!"

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"unblemished record of heterosexuality"

fry

why the need to clarify? I have never once felt the need to say something like this

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Shouting "I have never sucked a dick! I haven't even touched one!" at anyone in earshot, while sweating profusely.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 years ago

Awesome pics, Mr. President. Great size. Look thick. Solid. Tight. Keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new progress pics or vid clips. Show us what you got man. Wanna see how freakin' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get. Thanks for the motivation.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 years ago (1 children)

As a very straight man, I must say, Trump is looking so fucking sexy I wish I could cuddle him hyperflush

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

sniff sniff

Homosexual found

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Back in 2016 Milo Yiannapoulis referred to himself as trumpsexual

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Milo Yiannapoulis

why'd you have to remind me he exists

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 years ago

my unblemished record of heterosexuality has people asking a lot of questions already answered by said unblemished record

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I hope when my mugshot is shown people will think "he's sporting wood, you can tell."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Having a hardon on the way to prison isn't the flex you think it is.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

You going to prison soft?

Gotta be hard and ready to go. I'm not locked in there with other guys, they are locked in there with my throbbing member. If you don't get treated for priapism you ain't nothing but a jamf.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My personal record of heterosexuality is very checkered. I'm not getting into the straights hall of fame, sadly.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Someone needs to explain to him that you can compliment a bloke without it being sexual, 'cos man's no homo is asking a lot of questions answered by no homo.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 years ago (2 children)

it genuinely is surprising how well the mug turned out, mans really looked like melted shit recently

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

🍦 Why you going so hard on our orange creamsicle boy?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

Perfect site tagline. Lemmy libs will seethe.

If this isn't a tagline by tomorrow, I'll delete my account in protest.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I entirely forgot that! I should have googled the quote. I didn't realize he was quoting something. But he did forget to say "fabulous".

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

Somehow "good" and especially "hard" seem less unblemished than "fabulous" side-eye-1

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Might be the first time I've ever seen someone compliment the wet boy on his looks. Even his most diehard fans think he's an ugly son of a but they love how he owns the libs.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ben Garrison was at least slightly horny for Trump.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago (2 children)

slightly

The only people he's ever been hornier for than Trump are AOC, Greta Thunberg and volcel-kamala

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

Dont forget good-morning

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

Objection: the real fans on the left have always respected his dump truck

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago

fellas is it gay, etc

Death to America

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

Never too late for that first "blemish" on one's heterosexuality, I suppose.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

all politics is sexual pathology