this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2024

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the_dunk_tank

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I support this, this is my politics (hexbear.net)

submitted 19 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

45 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Uncritical support for the coalition to destroy the illegal settler colonial state of the KKKommonwealth of AuSStralia

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

If you're facing a one-front war, you have justification for your defense. If you're facing a two-front war, either you started some shit or you got tag-teamed by your neighbors, so a toss up whether or not you deserved it.

If you're facing a seven-front war, it is totally and unequivocally your fault. There has never been a country minding its own business that gets dogpiled to that degree in the modern era.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Counterpoint: like a dozen different countries invaded Russia during the Russian Civil War.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 hours ago

*reactions to revolutions that threaten the entire current global order right in the backyard of the major empires not included

[–] [email protected] 9 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Counter Counterpoint: the Russian civil war was not in the modern era

[–] [email protected] 12 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

Depends on where you put the start of the "modern era," really. By some definitions, it began about 500 years ago.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Fair; I'd not realized it was so contentious a period to classify

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 hours ago

I have seen it as 1871 to 1945, but I don't remember the context for it

[–] [email protected] 18 points 14 hours ago

I worry that the Royal Brunei Armed Forces may have bitten off more than they can chew by deciding to conquer all of northern Australia. Still, best of luck to them!

[–] [email protected] 31 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

MY country? I can't afford a house and none of my politicians would rather I stay alive. I'd help translate English for the invaders and teach them grappling if they need it. At this point you'd get a stronger reaction if you told me 7 countries were out to attack the strawhat pirates.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 15 hours ago

No one is invading israel, don't fall for that.

This feels like a pretty literal recreation of this old wwii poster, itll tug on the faint memories of the the target audience (fb boomers)

content warning orientalist racist shit

[–] [email protected] 69 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

if you can't handle the wars stop STARTING THEM mfs playing with Total War diplomatic skills

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 hours ago

A lot of grand strategy games, the power in play is to do a lot of things that irk your target until they declare war, and thus you avoid any of the diplomatic penalties of being the aggressor. They don't simulate real world politics well at all

[–] [email protected] 25 points 17 hours ago

I could win a 7 front war in Total War easy 💅

[–] [email protected] 12 points 15 hours ago

*Playing with Sid Myer's Gandhi AI

[–] [email protected] 13 points 14 hours ago

Based. Yes please, also the other genocidal Anglo-settler colonies inshallah

[–] [email protected] 31 points 16 hours ago

Maybe Australia shouldn't have been indiscriminately bombing New Zealand then shrug-outta-hecks

[–] [email protected] 21 points 16 hours ago

I would cheer and volunteer to some fifth column-type of effort to open up an eighth front internally.

our flag would be Matt's face in joker makeup.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Missing a front

[–] [email protected] 31 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I know Australia had a gameplan in place since WWII to retreat and abandon half the country. Not sure how that would play out here.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

The "Brisbane Line"? What was the deal with that?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 18 hours ago

No idea. I only learned about it when listening to Yahtzee's Let's Plays several years ago.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

(In order) Indonesia, Malaysia, Brunei, Papua New Guinea, Micronesia (or maybe more specifically the Soloman Islands), Fiji and the cherry on top of this shit sundae New Zealand. Half of these are Muslim majority countries. IMAGINE

I notice Singapore is excluded which is fucking hilarious considering that it's the only country in this region that has an actual history of espionage against Australia.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

That is indeed the Solomon Islands, which are a part of Melanesia, not Micronesia.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 16 hours ago

Ah whoops thanks for the correction

[–] [email protected] 24 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

Imagine if it were your ~~country~~ settler colony

[–] [email protected] 20 points 16 hours ago

The last time my country got attacked on multiple fronts they officially called it the German Greater Reich, so the Israel comparison is not as hard to imagine as you might think...

[–] [email protected] 16 points 15 hours ago

Death to Australia, Death to America, and Death to the West!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 17 hours ago

Fuck Australia

[–] [email protected] 36 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

IMAGINE IF IT WERE YOUR COUNTRY.

mccrucified Luckily, my country is amerikkka , you can thank me now

[–] [email protected] 12 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

I'm trying to imagine a scenario where Norway would be in a seven-ish-front war, but the only scenarios I can imagine are:

Scenario 1: Norway becomes a socialist state, and so we basically just get Operation Urgent Fury 2, and there's not much more to say about it.

Scenario 2: There is an absolutely bizarre situation involving a three-way dispute of Orkney going hot, a fascist Sweden going irredentist, and a fascist Finland trying to establish a Turanist Co-Prosperity Sphere, and then other countries join in a "Scramble for Norway" in a "first as tragedy, then as farce" sort of way, using justifications like "peacekeeping" or "protecting their citizens abroad" or whatever else — the imperial core essentially cannibalizing itself as the periphery successfully resists the core's parasitism.

Scenario 3: The Second World War ended with the Nazis somehow negotiating with the Western powers to remain in power in Germany, Denmark, and Norway as a bulwark against the spread of communism. Nazi rule would inevitably collapse in Germany and Denmark at most a few decades later, leaving Norway as basically the German Nazis' Taiwan. When the "Greater German Reich" then inevitably goes rogue again, we basically just see a tragedy-then-farce sorta-repeat of WWII as it actually happened, except this time Berlin is substituted for Nordstern City.

Edit: Well, really, nothing says Norway couldn't become a bizarrely expansionist rogue state without being a rump of Nazi Germany. I feel like this wouldn't be any more farfetched than imagining this happening to Sweden and Finland.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 18 hours ago

waow-based

Honestly it's probably only a matter lf days before I see this posted up on a wall near me. The local Zionists go sticker happy over the weekend

[–] [email protected] 39 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

New Zealand was like “We’re sick and tired of your sheep jokes, Australia.”

[–] [email protected] 29 points 18 hours ago

The North Island and South Island have negotiated a tense ceasefire and formed a united front after agreeing that the inter-Kiwi conflict is a less pressing matter than the end of Australian oppression

[–] [email protected] 9 points 14 hours ago

Tie me to a missile to Sydney, im ready

[–] [email protected] 15 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

What seven fronts does Israel count... Gaza, Lebanon, Iran, Yeman... West bank?... Iraq?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago

ireland

[–] [email protected] 11 points 15 hours ago

maybe the entire UN?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I think they include Syria

[–] [email protected] 8 points 16 hours ago

Ah yes of course.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 18 hours ago

I'd be pro-new zealand if it carpet bombed canberra

[–] [email protected] 16 points 17 hours ago

I had an idea for a video game, imagine a spiritual reincarnation of Red Alert 2, except instead of the USSR invading the US, China invades Australia. This map gives me good vibes.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 18 hours ago

i-do xi-plz

[–] [email protected] 9 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

I'm imagining it was my country as one of the 7 nations

sicko-wistful