this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2024
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The former President's plan to bring water to the California desert is, like a lot of his promises, a goofy pipe-dream.

In an apparent effort to address the pressing issue of California water shortages, Trump said the following: “You have millions of gallons of water pouring down from the north with the snow caps and Canada, and all pouring down and they have essentially a very large faucet. You turn the faucet and it takes one day to turn it, and it’s massive, it’s as big as the wall of that building right there behind you. You turn that, and all of that water aimlessly goes into the Pacific (Ocean), and if they turned it back, all of that water would come right down here and right into Los Angeles,” he said.

Amidst his weird, almost poetic rambling, the “very large faucet” Trump seems to have been referring to is the Columbia River. The Columbia runs from a lake in British Columbia, down through Oregon and eventually ends up in the Pacific Ocean. Trump’s apparent plan is to somehow divert water from the Columbia and get it all the way down to Los Angeles. However, scientific experts who have spoken to the press have noted that not only is there currently no way to divert the water from the Oregon River to southern California, but creating such a system would likely be prohibitively expensive and inefficient.

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[–] [email protected] 173 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I guess it was gradual, but when did it become the job of journalists to try and guess what politicians mean when they make statements? Shouldn't the meaning be made clear by the speaker? Right now it seems like its:

Trump: Speaks rambling gibberish saying something about a faucet

Journalists: "It seems like Trump is talking about the Columbia river and here's why that is significant..."

[–] [email protected] 137 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

This is what "sanewashing" refers to, if anyone was unclear on that.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

Oh I like that term. Will be applying it in my life. Thank you.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

“sanewashing”

The media is rightly concern that MAGA will have a fit if they tell the truth so they go full Onion. We have reached the point of, "Idiocracy", but here we are.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

The difference is he could be the next president and try to turn whatever he's thinking into national policy, so it's worthwhile to try and dissect what he's saying.

But those experts are also (somehow, still) not really accustomed to Trump's bombastic language. He was like this long before he got into national politics, hyping real estate and business for the market (where it kind of worked). That's a totally different world, where half lies and crazy sales talk are the norm.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I get what you're saying but they really should just be pointing out that he's not making any sense. Trump's speeches are being treated like Nostradamus' prophesies now. He spews a bunch of nonsense and people make up what they think it means. The guy should be in a home, not on the campaign trail and the media should make that clear to voters.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago

The worst part is they nitpick any piberal or progressive candidate on their exact phrasing while translating conservative hate speech into something less horrible.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

The problem is, he has no idea about policy and really no interest in it, except when the decision obviously benefits himself, or benefits those who pretty directly benefit him. So whatever he's saying at this point is just stuff he thinks sounds good. It bears no relation to what he'll do, except where there's obviously something in it for him and his associates. That's why "I'll take vengeance on my opponents" or "I'll increase fossil fuel use and suppress green technologies" are the kinds of statements to take seriously from him, but "I'll sort out your water problems" is not, unless we can find a benefit for him in it. The question to ask is, "Is he saying this because he thinks it benefits him to say it, or because he thinks it benefits him to do it?" (And for him, making people he dislikes suffer counts as a benefit.)

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Goes double for whether or not he's serious. The number of times I've heard something and have had a legitimately hard time telling if he's joking, or exaggerating, or just a complete fucking moron is absolutely crazy. Pretty much every sentence he utters becomes this endless game of trying to figure it out. It seems like his base just kind of randomly picks the option that makes the most sense to them and rolls with it.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He's joking if someone calls him on it, but serious if they don't.

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[–] [email protected] 117 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

If you support Turmp at this point, you're a fucking dunce.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If someone ever supported Trump, they're a fucking dunce.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

In 2016: Maybe it was a funny protest vote "against the system", for memes or whatever.

In 2020: Maybe voters were tricked into believing what he was doing was good or something. Jan 6 should have been a wakeup call.

In 2024: Just take a look at ANYTHING Trump has said, and what he has actually done about it and you should know that he is the least trustworthy guy you'll ever meet. At this point it's delusional. I could have excused it for the past 5 to 8 years but now I can't.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I stopped giving conservatives the benefit of the doubt around the point where the Republican party had every chance, every opportunity to go with any other nominee this year, claw back some sense of decorum... and then they chose the Oompa Loompa again. In 2020, at least it made sense for them to hold on to the incumbency advantage, and in 2016, Hillary was a horrible candidate and it's no wonder she lost.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah what the fuck Zachary Levi? You played a action hero Nerd on TV. Why are you stupid?

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

This isn't an idea, or even a promise. Trump thinks that there currently exists a faucet that could divert the Columbia River, a river he does not know exists and would probably think is in Mexico somehow, and that the faucet is purposefully moving water to the ocean as a way to spite the residents of California going through a water crisis. His only promise is that he would turn said faucet to eliminate the water crisis. Why are journalists ascribing so much intelligence to someone who has consistently bragged that he thinks at an 8-year old level?

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Amidst his weird, almost poetic rambling, the “very large faucet” Trump seems to have been referring to is the Columbia River. The Columbia runs from a lake in British Columbia, down through Oregon and eventually ends up in the Pacific Ocean. Trump’s apparent plan is to somehow divert water from the Columbia and get it all the way down to Los Angeles. However, scientific experts who have spoken to the press have noted that not only is there currently no way to divert the water from the Oregon River to southern California, but creating such a system would likely be prohibitively expensive and inefficient.

The fucking sane-washing continues. He's not being poetic. He's not laying out an "apparent plan" that we need to vet with "scientific experts". He thinks there's literally a fucking big faucet up there already as big as a building that "takes a day to turn" and he's the only person smart enough to think of "turning the faucet" or the only one strong-willed enough to kill the smelt for the good of the forests or whatever.

People keep grafting actual concepts onto this absolute moron's imbecilic utterances and giving him a leg to stand on...just fucking quote the asshole and move on with your day.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The ag lobby told him there's an ocean of fresh water, and the only thing stopping it is all the evil librul greens demanding they protect the mosquitos or something.

The farmers in the central valley believe the same thing, they get 80% of California's water and still fervently believe we're all holding out on them and there's a lake superior we've been hiding behind our backs all along out of spite.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I mean, I was vomiting in stanzas when I read this....

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

Iamblech pentameter

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Anyone still supporting this human shaped STD has herpes of the brain.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I disagree. He is not human shaped.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

honestly even just saying "shaped" is a bit of a stretch

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago

It takes a day to turn

He really said that

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago

He’s a 10 year old child that likes to make pretend without ever having to face any consequences should his little fantasies ever come true.

That’s our job. We’re the ones that face the consequences.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Oregonian, here. We need that water to flush our absolutely gigantic toilet so California can't have it!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

So you're saying trump has to decide what is more important, California or being anti low flow toilets. RIP California.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

That explains Drain, OR. I always wondered what the actual drain looked like!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I love that Trump has no ability to do any critical thinking, and thinks of everything as very literal now. He believes the planes are actually invisible, the only way to prevent Forrest fires is to actually rake the forest, and now that a literal giant faucet would be used to divert water in what kinda sounds like a Roman aqueduct to Socal.

I also agree that journalists should not be spinning Trump's word salad, that makes zero sense, by calling them "poetic" and then trying to explain what the hell he is maybe trying to say. He is running to the President of the US, if he can't explain how he wants to use plumbing to divert water from the Columbia river to Socal he should be asked about that over and over until he can articulate that. Journalists doing the heavy lifting of making real ideas out of Trump's babble should be looked down upon. Instead they continue to "both sides" anything left of the far-right.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I really tried to give the benefit of the doubt in interpreting the dumb shit he said, but there just is no version of his idiot ramblings that actually makes sense.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago

Trump also said: the faucet is made by ACME and managed by my good friend Wile E. Cayote.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago

And we can solve the problem of climate change by going to the opposite side of the sun and turning off the Enormous Fan, thereby eliminating the solar wind.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago

What a fucking idiot. The only dumber people are those that believe him.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I know this is the politics community so forgive me for saying "this comment aside," but we really need to figure out a cheaper and cleaner way to desalinate seawater.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

This is a nonstarter because there is a quarter pound of salt in every gallon of salt water. A small town of 50k would easily produce close to a million pounds of salt a day. Now try to scale that up to 20 million people in LA for instance.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

We need to stop encouraging people to live where there isn't any water. There's a reason nearly 3/4 of the US population lives east of the Mississippi, and that reason is the Eastern half of the country gets a straight up order of magnitude more rain water than the Western half

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Trump lives in some sort of reality pastiche of Richard Scary and Marquis de Sade.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

Without the Columbia, the Idaho port city of Lewiston is doomed. Just in case anyone needed a silver lining.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

Dimbulb donnie is just everyone's Crazy Uncle Liberty, and it's been Thanksgiving since about 2015.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My favorite type of incoherent gibberish is the type that might be trying to talk about a terrible idea.

Politicians keep talking about building pipelines from places that have water to places that don't.
Maybe the answer is actually that California isn't the best place for agriculture once you get past the easy access to migrate labor, and they should price industrial and agricultural water usage accordingly.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

The PNW isn’t immune to the drought pal.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Can't wait for the next forest fire in Canada and Trump to suggest a big fan to blow the smoke away from the US.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Just switch all our wind turbines from suck to blow. Easy.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Uhm.

Ok. He should not be in charge of the executive office. We know he's stupid but, damn.

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