this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

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[–] [email protected] 83 points 1 month ago (1 children)

His immune system was khamas.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Did you know that cashews come from a fruit?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

i do!!! i spent a solid 5 min going back and forth on this before catching myself being way too pedantic

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He was a general too at only 19 and 4 months in the military!

[–] [email protected] 78 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Holey shit did the semen extraction team arrive in time???

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago

there's a rumor that a hostile team got there first it-was-me

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Israel about to be the only nation on Earth with a sizeable minority of their new generation literally being half-undead like some World of Warcraft village

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

Yeah, but they couldn't extract anything because it turned out he was also molding the halva into rods and using them for sounding

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Does anyone halva epi-pen?

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 month ago (1 children)

rip-bozo rip-bozo-grave

Imagine being so thirsty for genocide/blood that you'd travel at your own expense to do so.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago

I’m leaning toward believing in an all-powerful deity now, because this asshole’s death seems like something an all-powerful deity would do.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

no more halva measures waltuh

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 month ago

"Israeli" food was so bad bro fucking died

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Critical support to allergies

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago
  1. breed a bunch of lone star ticks
  2. release all over the 1st world
  3. watch as everybody emits 10% less carbon and/or dies from allergies
[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago

he expected to fight, yet his body couldn’t even fight off food.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago

NYPD ass funeral

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Killed by one of the most Jewish of snacks

How ironic

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Halva isn't Jewish, it's levant Arabian especially Lebanese and Palestinians.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Ah, I always got it from the Jewish deli I got lunch at

My mistake

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's fine, common misconception. Like saying couscous is "Israeli" when the Amazigh invented it.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

I think people get confused on that one because of "Israeli" couscous or ptitim, which is actually different food. It's a pasta product created by Nestle during the 1950s. Basically like acini di pepe but toasted.

It sucks ass and is basically a Great Depression food from the austerity era following WWII.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It'd be funnier if he died from corned beef or dill herring

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

Choked to death on one of those giant pastrami sandwiches

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Honestly I associate halva most with the Caucasus but that's only because of that one Shamkhan Daldayev song

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What are the odds it was actually hamas-red-triangle

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The opposite, this was how he actually died but some propaganda outlets on Twitter claimed he was "liquidated."

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

"No one have claimed responsibility for the allergic attack yet, but we suspect Hamas, IDF sources said."

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago

EAT THE HALVA!

KICK THE FLAGPOLE!

EAT THE HALVA!

KICK THE FLAGPOLE!

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago

But, do you condemn Halvas???

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago

His IgE? Khammas.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Don’t any of them have jobs?

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

Watching a montage of DBZ characters reacting to 9/11 to show how seriously I am reacting to this news

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

may he become fertilizer, enriching the soil that grows the next fatal foodstuff

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

I'm gonna eat some chocolate halva to celebrate

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He died in the line of doo dooty

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

Eating halva rn to dab on this goof

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

Literally smote by the gods

Beware!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I personally think it was a code red that went wrong

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Mountain Don't kelly

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