this post was submitted on 29 May 2024
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[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago (3 children)

go and take a hike

literally

go hiking

(i dunno shit helps me, but just for that time :sadness:)

[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago

Me on a hike: it will be okay. life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to experience. i am not in nature, i am nature. anything can be conquered.

Me at literally any other time: doomjak

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago

going outside is therapeutic for me too! i try to get out into nature at least once a week for multiple hours whether hiking or just vibing.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Hiking is so wonderful and if I don't get out on a regular enough basis My mental heath fucking plummets.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If you can somehow make your internal monologue into a friend of yours everything gets easier.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I played a ton of video games as a child until this occurred naturally, the downside is that my internal monologue now gets quite bored without some cliche puzzle or danger. Super juiced when either of those things is present though

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I always think back to being a kid and reading that His Dark Materials series and the way I pined terribly for having a daemon from those books. In reality it's probably as simple as a mental exercise where I talk myself through a problem with a fellow "me" whose welfare is tied to my own but who isn't exactly me.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You can't help someone who doesn't want help, even if they're ODing consistently. Support doesn't mean controlling them.

The only thing a narcissist respects is firm boundary holding but they will keep pushing, so either cut them out permanently or be prepared to hold your ground

Do inner child work to find and address trauma from childhood

Grieve and process the childhood and family you never had. Feel the feelings that were repressed

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

You can't help someone who doesn't want help, even if they're ODing consistently.

Hard won lesson. Took me forever.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yes here it is. Simply be emotional stable

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

ah very easy yes why not do that.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (5 children)

i've seen posts from people who actually go to therapy saying their therapist basically rehashes the "serenity prayer" when it comes to things like climate change anxiety. gotta find one of those based, not-liberal, not-a-nerd therapists.

serenity prayer

spoilergrant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

This will be contentious but I think that is good advice. Quoting Matt Christman:

Your anxiety is not secretly powering some machinery of resistance, you're just giving yourself a tummy ache.

As socialists the world presents us with a bounty of tools for inflicting psychological self-harm. We can become perversely attached to this practice. If you are taking the rage you feel and channeling it into real-world organizing & action, then great. If you just sit in your apartment staring at the ceiling hoping for some piece of info to be the one that tips you over the edge then well... that isn't really a good way to live your one life.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

my therapist is a pretty cool younger guy. we shit talk capitalism all the time and he laughed when i said voting for joe biden was voting for 99% hitler. they're out there but i get they're not common.

but yeah, focusing on things you can actually affect helps. kinda.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

There's more leftist therapists out there than you might think. The field inherently butts up against the injustice of capitalism if the therapist is worth their salt.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

how does one even find a good therapist. I went to one when i was a teen because my mom's friend recommended him, but i think he's retired now

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

i just got lucky

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

I was pretty blessed, I had one of those based therapists. I had no idea how lucky I was til hearing people's experiences with bad therapists. I would complain about how overwhelmed I felt by political stuff, racism, capitalism etc (in 2020) and she would say I was correct to feel that way and just gave me tools to help deal with it when the feeling was too much. I would talk about wanting to protest or take bigger actions and she would encourage me, suggesting even joining a politically active org or starting my own.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

I got lucky to find a socialist therapist who now uses the phrase doomerism when I get in that mood

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Yeah I got that one all the time from a therapist; had a great one before that, but they retired. But, yeah, it's seriously bullshit.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Don't blame yourself for your traumas

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)

TikTok screenshot of a white woman making coffee with text overlaid: I'm wondering if therapy is actually unhealthy for me ... I told her how I literally have psycho meltdowns ... like throwing things/screaming and she says "your emotions and responses are valid" are they tho? You don't think maybe I should just get a grip? Idk

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

"All emotions are valid, all behaviors are not" is like the prologue to starting therapy, how could she miss this tutorial level mantra

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Some therapists kind of skip the explanations and jump straight into applying fixes. I personally don’t vibe well with that. It fucks me up and leaves me feeling lost.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Totally fair

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

Be kind and patient with yourself (WARNING EASIER SAID THAN DONE)

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

You want to love everyone, but not everyone deserves the same level of love

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

just like my dad, typical.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

Your dad is my therapist?

Explains a few things

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

we're all human

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

go to a mental hospital

and I'm only slightly exaggerating

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Things like prioritizing your body’s needs and caring about yourself are habits and skills that can be practiced. I’m significantly better at these things than I was a year ago because I get new exercises every week and I work hard at them. I also have the insurance and mental bandwidth to do all of that, which I’m lucky to have.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

I don't remember anything any of my therapists said to me cos it was all drivel skirting any actual issues. Then I found out I am autistic and immediately many problems were solved or at least understood.

For some reason not a single therapist wanted to tell me that or even suggest it. Haven't needed one since

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

slaps forehead shit why didn't i think of that?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

~~be yourself~~

ftfy

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Here's what my therapist would have told me if they were cool and not just a waste of my time:

  1. None of this shit is your fault. You live in a world where human life is worthless.
  2. All the bad shit you are experiencing is a systemic issue. Therefore, it cannot be solved by individual action. Systemic issues require systemic solutions.
  3. Only around 30% of life is under your control. The other 70% is material conditions that you can't control. This is not a doomer take. There is still plenty of stuff you can do within those 30% and you should still do your best. But try to be patient because there's gonna be times when you still feel like shit even though you're doing everything you're supposed to.
  4. There is nothing wrong with you if you feel like shit all the time. Feeling like shit all the time is the only logical response to the world in which we live right now. But there is no point in wallowing in misery so try to chill out and give yourself a break.
  5. You don't have to wait for somebody to give you the compassion that every human being needs. You can be compassionate to yourself. A good way to do this is through meditation and journaling, which are the two best habits that you can develop.

All of this sounds kinda obvious now but I wish somebody told me this when I was 20 years old and feeling like shit

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

The only real advice my therapist gave me was to ask a person out. I had already told my therapist that I suspected that person was already in a relationship and that I was probably delusional, but still my therapist gave that advice, so I did. Can you guess if I was right on both accounts? Needless to say I felt like shit and I could never trust my judgement about these things again. Hence my extreme carefulness now (I’m the crushposting guy)

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