this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2024
127 points (93.8% liked)

The Onion

4492 readers
853 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 27 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 53 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Reddit Will Now Be Covered In Ads For Reddit

Isn't it already? Get Reddit Mobile! Use the app! Why aren't you using the app? Open this link in the app! Pleeeeeease let us flood you with cream cheese and He Gets Us ads! App!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago (2 children)

My favorite is that they don't let you look at porn without using the app now. They have clearly wandered so far from their native path.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Huh, wonder if they'll get sued by states that require age verification to look at porn.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Probably not, most of those bills had a clause that if less than a certain percentage of your content wasn't porn than the site didn't need age verification. Twitter is in the same category. No idea about how it applies to some of the porn focused instances on the fediverse though, but I'm guessing they're so small that they won't be targeted unless their servers are actually located in the states with the age verification laws.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I think you can still use old.reddit to view nsfw if you're already signed in but it's been awhile since I tried

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Old reddit is unusable on mobile because it has practically no responsiveness. You have to zoom in a million percent to press any links or buttons.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Finally. Women can log into Reddit!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Nonsense! They're not capable of this!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

They can ask their husband or brothers to help.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 7 months ago (2 children)

(Steve Huffman can be seen in the background, tightening his strap-on and applying a generous amount of lube)

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago

Lube? Oh no, he's going in dry with a splintered wooden strapon.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Lube!? That fucker is wrapping his strap-on in barbed wire like Lucille.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

I don't know who this Lucille is but she sounds kinky!

[–] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I for one welcome the sexual harassment from the Cheez-It brand.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Huh, we have very different expectations regarding our free time experiences.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago

In order to verify their identity and confirm they are over 18, users will have to mail a single pube to Reddit HQ.

Address?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I honestly thought the joke was them filling the page with ads, like that's what we can expect from reddit now. Turns out the Onion just has a shit ton of ads. 😞

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Why are you raw dogging? Get an adblocker and set your dns to one too, like dns.adguard.com. At this point in time if you don’t you’re just wanting ads

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

I don't think this is real guys. Doubt they would let girls on reddit. Will likely just be AI bots. Nonetheless, just in case this is real I'm gonna go ahead and send a pube today.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

Spez sold 500,000 shares

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

I wonder why they didn't include themselves in the examples of publications that became online only.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Why'd they have to bring M.A.S.H into this!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Let me go ahead and add the implied ... /s :)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

…“hump.”

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

only around four slides feel specific to reddit

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I'm all for dunking on reddit and the IPO but this slideshow feels like someone pulled it out of their ass on a whim with help of some AI art.

Come on Onion, I know you can be funnier than this!