this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2024
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This was a problem with the friend I was in love with. They always used my pronouns and stuck up for me, but when it became known that I had “feelings for them” it seems like I stopped being one of their “girl friends.” They didn’t believe me when I said I wasn’t trying to get in their pants.
Since then I’ve just fucking given up on being a “trans girl.” I no longer cringe inside when someone calls me a “he” or calls me “sir.”
It doesn’t help that I am basically a guy in every facet. Hell I don’t even feel all that gross about having not shaved in like a week. And I act like a straight cis dude in a lot of ways; it feels wrong for me to expect to be “one of the girls.”
And tbh I feel like the people who assured me that of course I’m a real girl (including the friend) contributed somewhat to this shit, because when my friends called me out for being kinda fucking weird I got to deflect it by saying to myself that they wouldn’t be saying this if not for my gender presentation.
And I’m not saying anything about trans women, just me. You’re all women. It’s just, I’m not and never was.
What is a real girl anyway?
You! And me. And anyone who wants to be
Everyone is a little weird in their own way. Do you.
Assuming social pressure wasn't a factor, what would you like to be? Where does the center of your soul gravitate?
It's difficult to maintain friendships where attraction is asymmetrical. Most people don't have the maturity to get it under wraps and it tends to seep into every interaction regardless of gender. I don't know enough to say that your friend's internal transphobia is shining through but in general romantic feelings just complicate otherwise simple transactions.
I mean we can't say she wouldn't have reacted similarly whether or not you were a "real" girl in her eyes.