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Weekly Trans Megathread for the Week of 2/3
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this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2024
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asking for t4t advice
cw sexual content
My GF and I have been together for a bit now but it’s been pretty hard to do anything when we’re together. We can hang out and play games or just talk, and that’s fun, but actually doing, y’know, the thing, is really hard.I think part of it is that, while I mentally internalize my GF as the girl she is, and it’s really easy to get into things in my imagination of her or while not in person, I think seeing her in person just freaks me out because I worry that she isn’t quite femme enough in her current presentation for me to be fully attracted to her, which really fucks with my head. It’s extremely hard because I want to be freaky with her and usually are but whenever we’re in person I just freeze.
I’m worried I have some sort of internalized transphobia or some subconscious misgendering of my GF which is stopping me from being fully into her.
Is there any way I can help myself get into the proper mindset? Should I have sex while high or something? Maybe meditate on her appearance and like, recontextualize her appearance?
I really need an elder queer’s help here, I feel stuck but also like this is something lots of people would deal with in t4t relationships.
spoiler
that does sound like some internalized stuff. my recommendation (though i'm not an expert!) is that this is something you should talk about with her if you haven't.if you've talked about it, try to just ease into it. try just cuddling and kissing, maybe making out a little. you don't need to rush into this if you have hangups about sex. just take it easy, take it slow, try and find a rhythm you can be comfortable with
spoiler
Where could I look with what kind of internalized stuff it could be? I just… honestly there’s a lot of body hair on her and I don’t know if it’s just me being a little shit about it or what. Like I feel like I should be able to just accept that. Plenty of women have body hair. But, like, that’s the thing, I don’t think the issue is that I don’t see her as a woman, it’s more that I’m just like… having a hard time getting into her. Also I’m a furry, I should be able to do this!