this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2024
762 points (97.9% liked)

The Onion

4254 readers
325 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
762
submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 55 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (4 children)

If you skinned and sold squirrels at a rate of 7.56 squirrels per second, you'd reach his wealth in just 100 years! All it takes is a little hard work!

They'd also go extinct after 1 year. Maybe switch to rats.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)

taking notes How long will the rats last if I maintain that rate?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Probably gone even faster as wouldn't you need a lot more rats to equal what you could get from a squirrel?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

You could alternate between rats and squirrels to allow repopulation

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Even if you don't end up rich, eradicating squirrels is a pretty good consolation prize.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Rats don't have bushy tails, so you'd lose most of the value.