traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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I dislike the gender button question (hexbear.net)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

63 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I am still very early in this whole process, and there is still a lot of self doubt, so I am reading a lot of literature on "Am I trans" and dysphoria.

One concept that people often like to propose in these ressources is the button that makes you the opposite gender, and, crucially, also makes everyone else believe that you have been that way forever.

I don't really like this, because my time as a boy/man is part of who I am. I would not be me without it, and despite all of the problems I had and have due to my gender, it is still part of who I am. I fought through all of this and worked to find out who I want to be by myself. I wouldn't wanna be cis, and I also don't want to cease being the me born out of this struggle.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

The button test conflates basic comfort and survival needs like not wanting to feel dysphoria or not being exposed to transphobic hate crimes with the asinine, unattainable and actually undesirable idea of wanting to be cis.

Yeah, this is kickass, true, and also reveals the horror in those (CW: extreme transphobic language meant to hurt people)

spoiler

“you’ll never be cis” hate comments some people make. They’re trying to do the same thing and conflate being cis and feeling dysphoria, etc, and they are doing so specifically to threaten you with discomfort and dysphoria. Transphobes are literally physically threatening people, but because we’re so entrenched in this idea that cis is better, we don’t even notice it unless we’re both trans ourselves and have gone through all of this analysis. Sure, we can feel hurt and feel the pain of being told we’re never going to be cis, but the most malicious part of those statements takes so much digging to realize that most people probably never do

Also I’m scared??? Did my gf start using Hexbear and listen to my rants more than I thought?? Are you her account?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

I don't have a gf, just a (v. cute) gal pal, so no worries about that.