this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
57 points (100.0% liked)

askchapo

22763 readers
353 users here now

Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.

Rules:

  1. Posts must ask a question.

  2. If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.

  3. Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.

  4. Try [email protected] if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Shit if I know, but societally speaking, it does seem like you’re better off in some type of relationship where you’re miserable over not being in one at all

Idk man posts like this make me second guess myself. I have a good network of friends who are always happy if I reach out, but because I don’t have a partnership, I’m inherently less then.

I’m not sure if I’m the type of guy you’re referring to here (I could probably get a date if I got on the apps) but it would blow if I was. Because I don’t know why love/platonic intimacy can’t be shared with multiple people. Honestly, the only thing that makes me feel “down” about my current situation is seeing everyone tell me I need a partner to be complete

+++++++++++++++

spoiler

Also, hot take of hot takes, but finding a partner on an app just seems so icky to me. Probably because the people I know who ended up finding their long-term SO on tinder/bumble only did so because they definitely settled after a previous long-term organic relationship ended badly. I honestly hope to get over it (maybe it’s a necessary adaptation anyone who wants a partner will eventually have to make) but I just can’t treat a human like an option on Netflix or YouTube.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Take a clue from the amount of arranged marriages that end up full of love and happiness. Love and happiness in a relationship is a choice, and once you choose it, it will grow forever. Then it will never feel like you settled, it will feel like you are happy. This is the lesson from all the marriages of people who has never met each other before marriage but then end up happy and in love forever.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Conversely true for a lot of abusive situations.