Ya girl is getting the hell out of [red state] and moving to [city in blue state] this week! Will edit mega with more later perhaps.
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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voice dysphoria
What would a good day be without ending it feeling hopeless about my voice :)Truly awful what T did. Never really reversible. Even getting it to "pass" to cis people (much lower bar then what I want) is prohibitively difficult.
completely hopeless over it.
I’ve been struggling with this as well but I keep trying anyways. I think I’ve gotten a little bit better at least. I went to the trans academy voice training things for awhile and watched a lot of videos but I feel like I need something more to really go further.
you won't like this much but you can absolutely do something about your voice if you're persistent and determined enough to overcome the discomfort of training. but lots of transfems don't do anything with their voice and you might find that you care less about it once you've moved to a better area.
i saw that you applied for a job already, but please make sure that you're also taking care of yourself. go to a trans group and go to it regularly. surround yourself with as many trans people irl as you can. you presumably wouldn't judge another person, trans or cis, for being clocky in some way and you can learn to stop judging yourself for it too.
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"discomfort" is putting it very mildly. Better perhaps, but I don't think I have what it takes (if even possible) to get where I want to go with it.I'm trying. Not successfully. I do want to find community once I get there.
No, I understand people not passing of course. But I want to, I need to. I doubt I can the way I want to. But I need it so much.
fwiw shes been on voice calls with trans mega people and apparently sounds quite nice already
seconding the final paragraph. i’ve had to work through some major brainworms around presentation and being around a bunch of trans women who are more interested in being happy than passing has really helped. still jealous of them, but it’s because of their contentment rather than how they fit the cis ideal
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yeaa...sometimes the voice hits a particularly low note and i just want to never speak againi wouldnt even want it for passing tbh, just mostly for myself
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I need it to pass perfectly, both to others and myself. And I don't have the skill to do that. If it's even possible. I mostly need it for myself too I guess.Voice has long been my biggest problem. I'll try to voice train when I can. Sadly hrt has not made me as comfortable with it as I hoped.
There's nothing to do. Just hopeless and broken. It's so important. And just ruined by testosterone. Hopeless to get it fixed, or happy with it.