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You can use this in your personal portfolio!
(thelemmy.club)
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this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2026
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Microblog Memes
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I used to be a videographer. Mostly weddings, and a few very small indie films. I eventually transitioned out of that and into a more stable career, but I've got 10+ years of experience.
A couple of years ago, knowing this, a buddy asked me if I'd be willing to film his friends' live comedy sketch show. It's a guy I've known since high school, so I figured I'd cut him a deal: I'd do it for $25/hr, 4-hour minimum. He responded, "What if I made you some lasagna instead?"
So that show went unfilmed.
I did a bunch of free wedding photography and portraits and stuff for friends and family when I was in college. I stopped when I started getting referred to people who weren't my friends who also expected free work out of me and then acted like I was the asshole when I refused.
My wife used to be a cosmologist, she did very well for herself but it was hard on her health doing it professionally for so long.
When we moved away, instead of building new clientele from scratch, which is hard. She took the opportunity to change careers into finance.
She still does hair on the side, for friends and family.
But we had to make a rule now that it's family only, because honestly that's like 15 heads, counting only the family geographically close enough to make it viable, and that keeps her busy enough as it is.
She does it for free, out of love, and obligation. Though most the family is pretty good about insisting they pay her the market rate, and being very thankful. She's a great cosmologist.
She'd like to add in a couple friends here and there, again she likes to be helpful, but it quickly snowballs into more and more demands with less and less appreciation, even with close friends. And with less close friends, or just acquaintances, people start getting really offended when she legitimately has to turn them down.
They refuse to understand she's busy enough as it is, and even if they're paying top dollar(which they never do), she doesn't want to do a side hustle that big. She just wants to do family, and some select friends.
So now we have a rule, family only. Period. Only her best, oldest friends, basically family, does she do their hair.
Everyone else, even if she wouldn't mind doing some of them occasionally, get a blanket no. Family only. Because people can't be chill.
That stops most people from being offended, and takes pressure off her having to explain the nuance.
She doesn't have to explain why friend B can have hair done, but not them. Because friend B isn't getting it either. Nobody is. Family only.
I didn't know that cosmology was such a hairy field.
I was waiting for some kind of nebula reference.....
Stupid autocorrect. I swear I triple checked those! I'm leaving it lol
Its okay we all know you meant astrology
I have a personal stance on doing professional work for friends.
If they offer to pay me for my services, they get discounts and maybe even a few freebies. If they ask for me to do it for free, they pay full price forever.
I'll also proactively offer free work for friends sometimes when it looks like they could really use it, with the understanding they're getting "much better than amateur, but nowhere near my best" when it comes to quality.
That sounds cheap as fuck, isn't that cheap as fuck? And he didn't even go for that?
Yes, it is bonkers cheap. Like, unbelievably cheap. Even when I was first starting out, $300 for a shoot was my floor. But I'd been friends with this guy since forever and wanted to help him out.
Edit: autocorrects and typos
I'm in the business myself, and the way I handle this is simple. When it's coming from people I know personally, I look at it like I'm going to do it for free, I weigh that decision that way and only say yes if I accept that. I let them know my rates are quite expensive, and that I'm not asking that from them because I'm doing it as a favour/for the art/for myself (depending on what we're talking about, weddings, portraits, short films, something for their business etc). Then I let them decide if and how much they'd like to offer, and I'm happy with anything, because I've already accepted this was something I was gonna do "for free".
Weddings in particular, I did a bunch when I was young and these days I'd never pursue more work in that niche, I only do it for family/friends and then the last thing I want is for money to sour things.
Obviously you can't be doing that all the time, thankfully I don't and have plenty of properly paid work as well. But you gotta make the difference between favours and clients and can't look at it the same way, if my wife's cousin asks if I can help her film some clips for her cupcake side-business I ain't gonna treat it like a corporate client and ask the 1200€+ day-rate.
I like that. It's kind of similar to the "don't lend money you wouldn't be comfortable giving as a gift, because if it doesn't come back, you have to be ok with it".
I've learned that lesson a few times. It'll stick one of these days.
Must have thought you were Garfield the cat and will work for lasagna
Holy shit, a hundred bucks to film a whole ass show? Your lasagna friend is the most oblivious to have missed out on that deal