Hi everybody!
I'd originally planned on having a big effort post, but I've had some Bad Brain^TM^ the last couple weeks so that'll just have to wait until next time.
In the meantime, it's my 2 year HRT Anniversary! These past couple years have also been the first time I've really been in community with other trans folx; I've had so many breakthroughs and discoveries of myself that I don't think would have been possible without that and I can't be thankful enough.
I hope everybody has a lovely week!
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I mean yea I am a bit of a perfectionist. But I'm also just really sensitive to sound and really dysphoric about my voice.It's not quite what I believe, true. Other people's voices are noticeably not cis (to me) and that is not what I want. At all. It's not inherently bad or anything. I really don't care what other people do for themselves personally. It is just not something I would feel comfortable with for me personally. There's lots of things other trans people want or are fine with that aren't for me. Even dysphoria specific things that I don't have or whatever. Hell people live their lives and drag queens, it's fine whatever just not what I want or how I want to be perceived.
It means I can tell/suspect their trans. Like I can tell their voice is a little strained, or it's "off" sounding. I can't exactly describe it. But it's noticeable and not what I want. It seems very, very hard to get a voice that doesn't have this quality. I also don't really understand what you mean about plenty of cis people sounding clocky- I've heard some cis women that do sound a bit off too but never cis men. I'm less good at clocking trans guys though (probably because T actually changes your voice, and I'm not a trans guy so idc as much). Although plenty of trans guys do still have clocky voices, mostly because they haven't been on it long enough or at a good dose.
It definitely is vital and urgent. I just feel like I can't get over the hump. I do love trans women who happen to have clocky voices/ones that I wouldn't be happy with. One particular poster who I very much loved had a completely untrained voice and I miss her a lot. I don't not love trans women just because they're voices don't pass to me and it makes me very sad I come across like that.