Didn't have a chance to write up a detailed post, either on a fruit or the topic I was originally thinking about. I think they're neat and they taste good.
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dysphoria raving, doomer shit
Did I permanently fuck my brain by deciding not to look at myself for years?So many girlies make posts like “X months on estrogen and I can finally see(or start to see) a girl in the mirror.” Or “I can actually stand to look at myself because I can see the changes that are happening.”
I feel like if I look in the mirror after all this time and don’t see a cis woman it’s jover, not that I can be sure my brain would even acknowledge I pass if I did with my potential BDD.
There is a really cynical part of me that thinks estrogen isn’t “magic” and all the baby trans will eventually be bitter and disappointed like me when that reality hits.
But I’m hoping I am just mentally ill and delusional.
spoiler
HRT is just one part of transition and there's a lot more to be done. I'm in a similar boat to you where I've been on e for almost 3 years but I haven't really done anything else so I don't look like a woman to myself in the mirror, but I'm hoping that I eventually willIt's a long nebulously process that goes smoothly for some people and very rough for others, it's just luck of the draw (and also money, it goes soooo much easier if you've got money)
Estrogen isn't magic, is pretty good but not magic. And a lot of trans people do end up becoming disappointed, but that's just something to work past. Or at least I hope, idk I'm pretty doomer about shit but I've been trying to turn my perspective around recently. There's a lot of other shit to do besides just hrt. Like weight cycling, voice training, makeup, exercise, etc
Really voice is super important, it's often the "tie-breaker" if your androgynous and someone is trying to gender you. I should take my own advice thought and voice train, it fucking sucks doing but it needs to be done