Here's to a new year! Here's my first mega try (also first time posting in a while due to reasons) but heya! Admittedly struggled a fair bit with self doubt and anxiety on this one as put it off for a while/other things caught up with me but I figure I'll be glad I did it once I've done it. It's kinda being done last minute though, so admittedly there's that...
I'd been intending to make the mega about something else originally when I signed up, but that would require more time on my part (and I just binge read this recently, so it all works out). Anyways, my subject of the week is The Summer Hikaru Died; it's a queer (BL) horror manga which is currently also scheduled for anime release next year (2025).
Content warnings naturally follow and further details will be spoilered.
CONTENT WARNINGS
Grief, body horror and (very debatably IMO) mild gore, supernatural horror (ghosts/"impurities", otherworldly entities), death I suppose though that one's a given
Premise
The titular Hikaru went for a walk in the woods, died, and something came back wearing his body, something that doesn't quite know how to be human or mortal; "Hikaru" returned, to ensure that his best friend, Yoshiki, would not be lonely. Romantic tension (and tension of a less pleasant kind) ensues.
The plot/things I like about it thus far (light spoilers)
Yoshiki and "Hikaru" have an absolutely great dynamic- their relationship may not be fully healthy, but their intentions seem to both be in the right place, as are their deep feelings (Yoshiki's for Hikaru and increasingly for "Hikaru," and Hikaru and "Hikaru's" own true feelings) and honesty in this regard, despite the latter "Hikaru" being effectively an imposter of sorts. (it's complicated, but these are increasingly distinguished separately and I really like that process as well)
"Hikaru" is, while not quite a blank slate, extremely new to the concept of even just "being" in the sense that mortal creatures and individual organisms(?) do. They've had to learn (and Yoshiki has had to confront them about) the value and significance of life and death; they've increasingly established boundaries, and they approach the world with a liveliness and curiousity that is really cute (the original Hikaru was also lively FWIW, but "Hikaru" is experiencing everything anew even if they retain the memories).
Yoshiki, on the other hand, is both grappling with his grief and loss of Hikaru, while finding comfort (and discomfort alike) in his imposter, and in guiding them through a new world or state of being. He's finding his resolve and moral/ethical backbone interacting with "Hikaru" (very blue-and-orange morality dynamics, though they're learning), he's experiencing what could be described as a rocky but determined romance and queer experimentation at the same time "Hikaru" is being introduced to notions of attraction and desire (beyond instinctual desire to consume).
Their pairing in so many ways should not work (or rather would be usually destined for a tragic end). From the start, there have been several points where by all means it should have met such an end. But their determination and willingness to meet the other where they're at and gradually be understanding with the other is both fascinating and something I'd feel optimistic for (and interested in seeing play out further).
Anyways, I should cut myself short at this (and make sure to have something properly written beforehand for next time). But anyways, thus far it's a strong recommend (if you feel alright with the content warnings) from me.
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As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow (spoiler free though)
For a primer see here
I know it probably seems like I just talk about the same shit on repeat, but things stick in my brain. I did not become intimately familiar with Nevada's guts by not yapping about it...
I need to play it again still, but Fallow defeated me basically. I would probably say that Fallow is a top 10 game for me, but it feels sort of weird to say when I feel like my understanding is incomplete. Having a refusal of closure for an ending is pretty par for the course at least when it comes to Trans A Novels, but Fallow is built different. It probably has less than 10,000 words of dialogue total.
Fallow is a very vague, alluring "vibes" game. People talk about this stuff in any old mainstream game, and maybe I'm just so dumb that I needed a game to rip away my analytical ability to appreciate it, but I fucking GET IT now. Fallow is A VIBE. Or maybe average video games just don't hit hard enough thematically. I love the eerie, desolate mood though, I love the colour pallete, how everything is dried out and creaky feeling, how the music swings between "kinda chill" and "absolutely not fuckin chill, where do you think you are kiddo?"
You could just accept it as a vibes piece, and it manages to convey a lot about its core mood and themes just through like, context, and Isabelline's narration. The flashbacks, the dream sequences, you know. But someone writing about Fallow had the utter nerve to open her write-up saying "I wish I felt more confident about my understanding of Fallow, a new lo-fi adventure game by the artist and musician Ada Rook." Fuck you, that's my line.
The meaning of what happens after the days run out is more or less completely lost on me. I'll take notes when I go back in. I know art is whatever you take away from it, in a sense, but I wonder what the intent behind certain things was. I desire to understand a little bit about who/how/why this was made this specific way. It feels like I should, too; I'm stupid, but I pretty much studied for this. My life's goofyass obsession, and when the credits rolled on Fallow I was basically left staring at them, thinking "huh." Not a good feeling.
I guess it's kind of arrogant to assume you can just understand all of the things on some level, and I know this fixation on comprehension is a dumb overly-literal autism thing, but I persist. I wanna know what happens exactly to Isabelline and her sisters.
Also... are those like, sisters, or sisters-sisters?
good post! ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ
I definitely feel the pull of wanting to completely understand every single aspect of a story, but I think even an artist doesn't have to fully get what they're expressing and still pull it off. How many times have you heard an author being interviewed and they're like "I later realised I was unpacking these very specific things while writing this book."
We already live in pretty, uuhh, unprecedented times shall we say, but especially if it's a more obscure piece of art made by a marginalised person I can definitely see it exploring themes that maybe we just don't really fully understand or know how to talk about as a society with an agreed language and terms. Especially especially if it's such a vibe-based experience that's maybe much more granular in an emotional sense.
I'm accidentally making it even more of an interesting puzzle to figure out tho LOL
No but thank you
And I mean, most of it is pretty precedented on an aesthetic-thematic level as far as stuff by Ada Rook (or Devi McCallion even) goes? In fact it's sometimes gratifying to see common concepts from her albums get a visual parallel, very cute! Missing the minute details of its ending feels like falling at the last hurdle... I did spend a lot of time digging to understand specific terms ("trash girl" was new to me) It also disappoints me somewhat that I'm not more able to just take the game as it comes, because I DO love vibing to that stinky lil 640×480 game.
Weh... I will simply play it again till I discover I do wonder about the glyph door n stuff...
who dat
Aw, I mean that does happen too sometimes :c
I've heard it a lot, but still have no idea what it means
Learning english as a second language was like this x1000
Oh this Ada Rook, or ummmm this one! Primary creator of loud screamy music.
Many such cases, at least I am not alone
As near as I can possibly tell, it is just a vibe-y word for 'trans girl'. I forget where I saw someone draw the connection but I've never seen it in a context where that doesn't make 100% sense, see Psycho Nymph Exile, or the description for "shed blood" by Ada Rook
Ah, I'm sorry for your loss sounds even less fun trying to analyse things with another dumb barrier in between......
Ooh I like this, thanks!
Also fallow looks awesome, gonna check that out too!
If you wanna post about Fallow or any rooks you can and should @ me tbh.
Definitely will!
It might be a while before I get to fallow since I don’t play games often, but I just listened to a few rook albums in the gym and they ruled. I like that they’re varying degrees of shouty, and that they combine a few different sounds that I’m into. I think some of this reminds me of Atari teenage riot a bit? Also I really like the growls. The entirety of ugly death is a fuckin mood.
Aw fuck yeah, Ugly Death is like the best one, I'm fond of 2,020 Knives and Bustle as well :3 the range of shouty is rad. SUCH A MOOD
I'm taking that link from you ty
I hadn’t listened to Atari for a while prior to this conversation, and now that I’m going back to them again I’m also thinking I need to revisit Venetian snares. Here are a couple of his tracks in case you’re interested and not already aware of him. They get a bit wild.
Ultraviolent junglist
Winnipeg is a frozen shithole
I think Rossz Csillag Alatt Született is probably my favorite of his albums that I’ve heard.
It’s possible that I’ve gone off on a bit of a tangent here.
Thanks again for the new tunes :)
I found YouTube links in your comment. Here are links to the same videos on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Link 1:
Link 2:
Link 3:
lol those are exactly the albums I listened to! They're on my bandcamp list for next month (this month I’m snagging some ragana and thou).
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
I also found your sad mouse pfp on one of the album covers, you must be an inspiration!
I just read it, relatable asf...
Yea definitely, it was too annoying to enjoy much wordy media for like a decade. But anglo media is pretty annoying in general, so who knows how much of it was that as well
Famous mouse although the best Rook album cover is probably Bustle...
All of her stuff is like that, Fallow is like that I posted some quotes n caps of it on this site somewhere...
Ah but that's so REAL heartening to think that non-angloid media is less annoying as a baseline tbh.
fellow failmouse here lol
Yeah I know, I remember it! I wasn't lying when I said good post! ರ╭╮ರ
well tbh my native language media is pretty much as bad as english at this point, but I grew up still watching soviet cartoons so that was lit. But in general at least there was more variety from all around the world, native english speakers really don't like subtitles (or become elitist about subtitles lmao) and frankly just generally dehumanise people that don't speak their language. It makes them engage with foreign media in... strange ways shall we say, if they do at all
Wtf no way, my fallowposting is older than your entire account, waow... also thank you
Soviet cartoons but the subtitle shit, I see it often, I hate it frequently. I never really understood it, baffling shit honestly. I also grew up around a bunch of weeaboos too, so lol
not my first account (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
hahaaa you picked up exactly what I was laying down xD I was embarrassingly close to some weeb-ish people growing up and uhh ^i^ ^cannot^ ^unsee^ ^the^ ^horrors^
Every time I find I'm talkin to someone who's not new
We are comrades in horrors we cannot unsee, fuckin weeeeebs
You do really have me on the hook, because it feels embarrassingly similar to my own writing and it makes me morbidly curious to check it out. But I've been a bit too burnt out to enjoy playing any games recently and that sounds a bit too trippy for me to fully take in and appreciate right now tbh (๑´•.̫ • `๑)
Shouts to being too burnt out to play games much, but she has a few games (I assume the others are all rpgmaker narrative adventures too? Lacuna III, Wirewood Daughters, etc) that I've been meaning to poke at.
Also any writing that is "embarrassingly similar to this" is based tbh
Embarrasing in a "this is kinda like what I'm trying to do... BUT GOOD?!??" kind of way
What if... your writing is also good....
You got me there ⊙﹏⊙
Owned lol