traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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Please follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct
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Selfies are not permitted for the personal safety of users.
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No personal identifying information may be posted or commented.
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Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).
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Bring a trans friend!
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Any image post that gets 200 upvotes with "banner" or "rule 6" in the title becomes the new banner.
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Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
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When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.
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Arguing in favor of transmedicalism is unacceptable. This is an inclusive and intersectional community.
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While this is mostly a meme community, we allow most trans related posts as we grow the trans community on the fediverse.
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Remember to report rulebreaking posts, don't assume someone else has already done it!
Matrix Group Chat:
Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny
https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat
WEBRINGS:
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spoiler
I struggle a lot with vulnerability too. I have been hurt, a lot, over and over by people who said they loved me (not just romantic, like my dad for example) and I have been vulnerable with people and it led to really shitty outcomes that I still feel guilty about. It's one of my biggest issues and I have to work on it before I can date or love someone honestly, cause it's one of the biggest contributors to why my relationships have failed.Being cruel to yourself is a hard one. I would NEVER treat someone else as poorly as I treat myself. I would never make someone else work the schedule I do, sleep the shit amounts I do and do shift work, I would never make someone eat the way I do, I would never criticize someone as harshly as I do nor expect as much perfection as I expect of myself. I don't know how to crack out of it, I have a lot of people that depend on me operating at the highest I can. I feel responsible for doing things right the first time, no mistakes or pain. I am not very forgiving of myself and I tend to hide it instead of talk it out - I remember the way some of the people teaching me would speak, the venom, the insults, the dismissiveness and I always vowed to never do that when I'm teaching someone else. But there's always their voices still inside my head when I have to do something new (to me)
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Realizing this is really important.
I found one technique very useful for me. I imagine those really nasty critical things I'm saying to myself "you fucked up, you failed, you're not good at this, you're fucked up, etc." and I imagine me saying it to myself as a child.
It gets me every time. Tbh, just typing it made me get a little dewy eyed. It's because I can't actually get the words out. It makes me recoil every time. It makes me see that negative self talk for what it is, repulsive. I would never ever say those things to anyone else, and it makes me realize I wouldn't say them to myself either.
Idk, some might think it's stupid, but maybe it's helpful to you
(It helped with gender feelings, too)
I'm certainly willing to try!