this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
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chapotraphouse
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I have a hard barrier around expressing anything like that, online or off. The inherent hetero power dynamics make it creepy even if it's not a sexual impulse.
Word. I'm really careful about compliments. I never compliment someone's body, it's always something related to skill or taste - you make that dress look great, your makeup is on point, those boots look so cool. I always try to direct compliments towards something that acknowledges a person's agency and the effort they put in to their appearance and presentation, to try to center and acknowledge them as a person rather than creating them as a body that exists for male perception and pleasure.
Cause, like, otherwise, you're just saying "your body conforms to beauty standards in a way I find sexually appealing". There's nothing in that about the person, it's dehumanizing, reducing someone to a social ideal instead of engaging with an individual.