I've been sitting here thinking about it to. I guess I'm lucky in that my mother has no hardcore religious beliefs, but she's only really understanding enough to be polite. Once the person leaves the room she's misgendering and dead-naming left and right. She might correct herself if she thinks someone else might give a shit, but that's about it.

Feel like I shouldn't complain because that performative politeness bullshit is still better than a lot of people get, but it still really sucks knowing my only surviving parent will only see me as a dude in a dress or whatever.

That being said just a couple of weeks after my egg's cracked and I'm tired of having to boymode at home. I'm tired of only being able to wear pretty things inside my room, only to take them off every time I leave it. I just wanna figure this shit out from the safety of my own home without dealing with some nosy-ass cishet who's idea of gender is stuck in the 1980's.

Also feels kind of lame complaining like that only after a few weeks, but I questioned this shit like a decade ago and its kinda been gnawing at my brain since. So in some ways, it kinda feels like I've been waiting a lot longer than that.