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this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2024
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Even ciswomen have to put a ton of effort into it thanks to societal expectations. It sucks. Like, in the "beforetimes" I could just shower, throw on whatever and call it done. 20 minutes max.
Nowadays, I shower including shaving a good chunk of my body, long sit-in hair conditioner, and meticulous washing, I brush my hair, I blowdry my hair, I straighten my hair, I put on makeup, and I change out my earrings. Takes like 2 hours now granted some of that can be skipped if I'm not going out for the day.
And all that is just showering.
Know what though? It's so fucking worth it. I feel so much better when I look good and can show my face in public =w=
To some extent sure, but most cis woman can just wake up and be women if they want, the other stuff is just if they want to be attractive.
It doesn't really feel the same.
I grew up with three sisters and I can tell you right now I would kill to be able to wake up the way they do.
A woman will still look like a woman no matter what.
They might not meet societal beauty standards, but no one will mistake them for men (except transvestigation loonies)
Sneak100 is correct, cis women get misgendered a lot more than 0% of the time. They do not "look like a woman" (a definition for which you have not provided) when they get mistaken for men. Women do not always look like women, that is just untrue.
misgendered by who? when? I've certainly never seen it.
By other cis people, all the time. Just because you don't have an anecdote doesn't mean it doesn't happen - cis women can have strong jaws or thick facial hair or thin hips or wide shoulders. They can have PCOS and abnormal testosterone levels. It happens now and then. How else could masc women even exist? And that's before cis women started kicking eachother out of bathrooms. You have not been around enough if you've never seen it.
I used to work with 2 cis women who were misgendered they would never pass in society. They were both married also...
You need to calm down and occupy yourself before you go too far, you're already insulting members here..
I know you're upset and feeling bad, but please take a break
edit: this was bitchy and grumbly. But it's fair to want to compare yourself to your peers and siblings, and this notion that you should only compare yourself to the most masculine-looking women out there, the few who get misgendered, rubs me wrong.
The point is more that passing is stupid and arbitrary and being brainwormed about it certainly doesn't help. Calling people "delusional" for saying that cis women do not always look like women, is itself out of touch with reality. Plus, comparing yourself to others, specifically cis women is usually a road to brainwormed shit.
Nobody is saying "only compare yourself to the most masc women", ffs.
Comment by sneak100:
Thank you!
Perhaps by you if you haven't noticed it. It certainly does happen.
I've seen it a ton given my mom has been gendered primarily as a man (including by gay men who hang out at gay bars, where surely they've seen lots of butch lesbians - its not just the hets who can't tell) since at least a teen. She's not intersex in anyway as far as I know. She gets misgendered in-person and over the phone all the time. I've never once seen her correct someone - so most people probably never realize their mistake. She's not the only one I've seen it happen to either. For example, I had a classmate who, when I first met them asked me to guess if they were a girl or a guy because of how frequently she was misgendered. I was confused because she looked obviously like a girl to me at the time, but I guess a lot of people have weird heuristics that just didn't work for her.
Please do not get banned over this. You should do whatever helps you feel less bad instead of fighting people here.
yeah, guess I'll just inhale a bunch of copium and delude myself
Literally come back when you stop thinking all women innately and always "look like women", and quit being ridiculous.
Pretty sure you're just depressed and upset which I get, but I'm not gonna sit here and bullshit you. If you think this is "delusion" you haven't been around enough.
I hope you feel better soon.
saying my sisters can wake up and they just look like women isn't "evangelical themed transphobia brainworms", whatever the fuck that even means, it is literally just true.
Ahh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. It'd be nice if we didn't have to go through all the time and effort just to get to a point where we can just exist properly. We'll all get to that point eventually. Just gotta work hard to get there. Just persevere.