this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Reading Gender Outlaw. So eepy, but I press on. I should do my own research, but have the common surgeries changed much since whenever this book is from?

one is male until perceived otherwise… roughly four female cues to outweigh the presence of one male cue… many women today get “sirred” whereas very few men get called “ma’am.”

Is this true? I got an assumed to be a girl for having long hair when I didn’t even know trans people were a thing, and didn’t try to be fem. My impression is that rather than only masc stuff being picked up on, people are often outed for deviating for the masculine norm.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Is this true? I got an assumed to be a girl for having long hair when I didn’t even know trans people were a thing, and didn’t try to be fem. My impression is that rather than only masc stuff being picked up on, people are often outed for deviating for the masculine norm.

Deviating from masculine norms often lead to ridicule or being assumed gay IME. Personally, the only time I can think of that I was "ma'am'd" was pretty recently, and I'm like 99% certain its because the person was expecting my boss (who is a woman) and she claimed she calls everyone "ma'am" when someone said something to her about it.

OTOH, my mom probably gets sir'd more than I ever have.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My experience has been assumed to be gay. And I've known a few cis women who had been called sir also.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Huh, that’s strange, I guess I don’t think about what people think of me that much. I don’t know what the internal reaction is, just that I’ve gotten ma’amed without trying a few times.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I got bullied for having long hair, very pale skin and accused of wearing makeup so I got called gay. Even when my body was clearly not shaped like a cis male I was still called gay..

Those people had no idea of trans people just I was known to them as being a cis male.

Living amongst the ignorant and people who don't understand anything outside the binary they will usually default to traits they associate with a binary gender and assume or try to insult.. Depends on how it is being applied.

It happens to cis people a lot too. Because the hunan body can take many shapes and forms.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Indeed, without any overt transphobia I still find most people default to he/hims bc as far as they can get through their heads I am. Reminding people to respect pronouns is scary, however openly and overtly abnormal I am.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Then it wasn't transphobia, can guarantee that.. It was queer phobia

A lot is presentation dependant in a lot of cases and is what a lot of people would default to.

I'm gendered as a she/her regularly but I dress androgynous now..

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I didn’t mean to suggest it’s transphobia with any frequency. It’s the habits of people’s minds.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

But in my example I can say it isn't because trans wasn't as mainstream then from where I come from more underground ^^ I would say in today's climate it most certainly could be.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This is extremely culture and region specific. I've been told by a transmasc friend from East Germany that due to women in the DDR being less pressured to doll themselves up and masc-presenting women being much more common than under capitalism, standards for what's considered feminine are still very different, and that it's much easier for trans women to pass than in the West whereas trans men need to put in more effort or transition time than elsewhere.

Always be extremely sceptical when somebody tells you some factoid about gender and there's an underlying assumption that it's universal. How to "clock" people sure as hell isn't.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Totally, basic dialectics. :3

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Personally, my experience has been if they don't think you're a woman they don't jump to man (even if you get sir) you get lumped into some horrid 3rd category. And not the cool enby category, no some subaltern gender catgeory

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

And not the cool enby category, no some subaltern gender catgeory

Just realized lemmyverse still lacks a voidpunk comm.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You should make one on a neutral instance like yours

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Not sure how much I do or don't identify with voidpunk. I think its cool and would definitely follow a comm, but I don't think I could contribute much to it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

I think it would be interesting, hard to know what to expect though

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

A Secret Third Thing

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

With the sexual orientation part, I think I get what she’s trying to say, but while bi/gay or whatever is a unique dynamic, how many gay/straight couples are there? lol. People can have fun and whatever, but I don’t get the trappings of sex.