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this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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I guess "Gen Zedong", Gen z.... Where the cool kids hang out...
Dare I ask how projecting dysphoria onto others works?
You should read Gender Outlaw though it's cool, ngl.
Yeah, before I was a committed revolutionary (hj - motivation and anxiety allowing), the shitposts drew me in.
idiosyncratic brainworms
Of course :3 Despite knowing I look great when I look in the mirror, when I go out and look at girls I’m like “damn 0: they really look like that? [thin waist, small hands, you name it] I suppose it’s kind of normal, but I think it’s weirder with men (my language is deliberate, people my age are pretty, adults - but mostly men - disturb me). I see their giant shoulders, (particularly in relation to totally lacking asses) and hair, and bad fashion, and I’m like “wow would it suck to look like them. How do they wake up and choose it?” It used to physically hurt me, but I’ve gotten used to it, and it doesn’t so much anymore. To be clear, some dudes look fine, and occasionally I actually find them attractive or have a weird automatic crush, but yeah. To me it sounds like a normal teen thing - to notice how people look post puberty for the first time - but my particular case probably isn’t?I have a long list, but I don’t really go by it, so assuming my mind doesn’t change - which it very frequently does - I may read it soon bc it’s been high priority for a few days. <3
Imagine being a committed revolutionary instead of being too anxious to go outside :^)
lfg
Ohhhhh, okay that's not all that weird actually. Maybe ever so slightly judgemental? But I also can't comprehend how anyone likes being a man. Thing is, I don't have to, and just dw about it. People like being how they be and that's that. Glad it doesn't hurt you anymore though, that sucks. Also yeah, I find myself physically "people-watching" all the time, partly as a brainworm antidote - I find observing average, realistic human bodies helpful ig. I can fret over hip width and arm length or whatever, but like, women outside who are probably cis often match my measurements. It Is Fine.Banger, post here if/when you do read it!
saving space idk
That’s the “one” thing about all the anxieties I found I didn’t have on my recent mental health journey/hyperfixation. I’m anxious, but I’ll walk aimlessly or do whatever if the impulses are right, and assume I’ll be fine eventually. I do a lot of shit that would worry a neurotypical.
I suppose it’s an extra background stimulus while I think and do multiple other things. That’s probably the best way to go about it. I rarely do, but I guess rather than simply looking for beauty in everyone and not liking when I don’t find it (lmao), I could just recognize more that perfection isn’t real, and if people can live with themselves (although some probably have self hate) that’s ok and I should just be happy I look better than them (real narcissist hours, lol). It’s probably not best to dwell on one’s own subjective superiority, but…
I’m also always figuring out how I can be better, trying not lean into dissatisfaction either. It’s ok, it’s a dialectic.
spoiler
Yeah almost everyone has something about them they don't like, perfection is a concept sold as normative beauty standards so that people keep buying into beauty products and processes. I never really got the "at least I look better than them" thought, I kind of hate punching-down thought like that. Not a competition, really.Honestly my biggest takeaway from people-watching is that dimorphism in humans is not that pronounced and you could very feasibly shoot estrogen into a lot of guys and get good results
Fair enough, I’m kind of on the positive end of insanity right now and I couldn’t stop admiring my looks last night, so… Societal standards of “perfection” are stupid. Meanwhile, by my own standards I’m like 90% perfect, just working out the kinks, can always get better. Intellectually I don’t really believe in my superiority, but it’s an interesting thing to get over. Especially, when my ego isn’t fragile like many “big” ones. If I can’t do something, that’s really fine with me, but if I care to try I’ll try. I’m trying to learn metta. I know psychedelics are supposed to help kill your ego, but I feel like I just had all my realizations for now in my natural high.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy: