https://fedi.aria.dog/notice/Aik7pFXuz2lNM3TMG0

After all, the chances of any two people happening to both have a non-binary nibling or pibling or sibling or parent or child is small, but the chances of any two people happening to have any sort of non-binary relative at all is considerably higher, which would hypothetically make it much easier for a unified term for "non-binary relative" to spread

apologies if repost

So, I'm not publicly out, and I can pass either way (except voice of friggin course), and I am attending a wedding as a guest soon. The families are white, bougie, mid western and maybe conservative-ish. The other side is some shade of middle eastern, conservative, Muslim and Arab influences (I don't know the families at all). I have no desire to draw attention so I'm going to go in boy-mode, but I also don't want to feel like shit the whole time. Anyone ever find a good way to balance things without firing up the dysphoria into overdrive? I would love to be in a nice sun dress of course, but it ain't happening. I have some mens suits and plenty of menswear formal-ish attire that I can work with. Anyway, anyone got any thoughts?

"Cis am I, ma! [sic]"

Source: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/42332078/

#transitiongoals

When i first read that passage, i seriously wondered if somebody had reformatted a Halimede tweet. I don't want to dunk on Serrano too much here, i've taken a lot of good input out of her works, but this is one of her takes that has aged poorly. Like, seriously, i am so fed up with that view of being trans. The one that always, always without fail, centers suffering and pain and misery, that can only frame our joy and our thriving in contrast to the damage that has been inflicted on us, the one that can never let the past rest.

I am not like this. And it's beginning to become a problem.

You see, i like being in community with other trans people. I'm at home there, i've made friends there, found lovers there. It's where i belong. As long as i stay within my own bubble. As soon as i step out of it, i immediately get bombarded with unsolicited trauma dumps, dysphoriaposts out of a 4chan hellhole and a trainload full of internalized transphobia. Everything is a trigger for me. I cannot safely navigate most trans spaces anymore because the people there just drag me down. I logged in yesterday after a long hiatus and looked into the trans megathread and the first thing i had to do was block a user for her unspoilered loathing of the trans existence. I don't know how to handle this anymore. I used to be the kind of woman who writes big effortposts about self acceptance and how to figure yourself out and how to begin navigating systems of medical gatekeeping, but the further i go along in my own transition, the further i am removed from making these early experiences myself, the less i have it in me to unpack all that needs to be unpacked when baby trans yell their pain into the void.

And that's eating at me. It makes me feel guilt, it makes me feel like a failure to my community. My second puberty feels as if i get to sit at the table with the pretty, cool and popular girls, giving fashion advice to the prom queen while i'm leaving the most vulnerable trans people out in the rain, the ones that would need my experience and my encouragement the most. But when i try to be there for them, i harm myself. I can't say it otherwise, it is burning me out to expose myself to that kind of pain. It feels as if i'm walking backwards into a darkness i have escaped from. How do i deal with this? Do i retreat to my wonderland of privileged, happy women and girlthings or is there a way to move beyond the triggers and face the misery of others without becoming miserable myself? Because that's what i would need if i wanted to keep helping my siblings.

I’m researching hair removal and the sheer amount of options as well as the range in price just seems daunting. Why are there $30 devices and also $300 devices? And why would people chose to pay more for a single session than the device costs on its own?

Hey folks, the results are in and the vast majority of active Hexbear users say they are not cishet!

This survey had the same limitations of our previous transgender survey. This means we do not have the tech to make this survey more accurate through other means (more questions, more options, negative/positive answering, anonymous answering, etc). However, we do have a good sampling of the active userbase (about 1/3rd of daily active users answered) and combined with the transgender poll, we can conclude that Hexbear is an overwhelmingly queer instance that is proud of stating its queerness publicly.

You can see the graphs of the previous transgender survey here:

You can find the raw (public) data of the survey here. Feel free to audit my numbers and make sure I didn't hallucinate anything!

The total tally was

Yes = 114 
No = 195 
Unsure = 30 
Total = 339 

A number of people did not follow instructions properly, and I put them into the category that made sense based on the information they provided.

A number of people used the dean-malice emote which was not in the set of emojis I provided for responses. Most were merged into yes, unless they stated they were queer otherwise.

This survey is a little less complex than the last one, I kept it short and sweet and did not tally the pronouns.

Both surveys were done over three days and were pinned on the front page.

P.S. Thanks @[email protected] for helping make this a bit quicker with your code here.

I hope you all have as much fun with this information as I did and I hope you all have a great Pride Month

HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE!!!

It was the most trans movie I’ve ever seen and I don’t know what to do with it.

I’m not absolutely devastated like so many people have been but maybe I hyped it up in my head. I managed to avoid spoilers. But emotionally I had heavy expectations for it. I also can’t get it out of my head. It’s just swirling around in there.

I don’t know how anyone can watch it and not see the transness of it, but apparently some people do.

cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/2679948

things are HAPPENING besties

Hey, we still haven't been able to find a secure way to poll everyone yet. I've really been wanting to ask (in the negative, to be more inclusive) what proportion of Hexbear is queer. This isn't going to be super scientific or anything as a result, but just a quick guess.

Please respond to this post with the following emojis :

For yes, you ARE a cisgender heterosexual (cishet):

For no, you are NOT a cisgender heterosexual (cishet):

For unsure, as in you are UNSURE or QUESTIONING if you are queer, transgender, a cisgender heterosexual (cishet), etc:

If you have anything to add, please use a spoiler tag below your answer like so:

Remember to respond even if you are cisgender, queer, or otherwise. Everyone should try to respond, if you feel comfortable!

It's for a local LGBTQ nonprofit. Honestly I poured my soul into this application, was honest in ways i never have been, and now that it's done the only thing I feel is dread. I took a big step and let myself feel hope, but I know with near certainty given the past 293+ job applications that have ended in failure, i can't help but feel that this go the same way. i don't know how that will feel—worse, maybe, since i exposed the barest hint of what I want to be and will inevitably be punished for it. i'm so tired of this.

I finished this book a while ago and it really blew my mind. I'm a trans woman and it completely changed my understanding of my own gender and my understanding of gender as a concept. It's given my a new understanding of the ways I may have been perpetuating harm and ways to change for the better. It was just a life changing read for myself and my cis wife as well.

My question is why don't I see this opinion more frequently in the world? I've almost never heard someone use the term effemamania even though it feels so accurate to what's going on so often. I googled it and I don't see much real critique of it other than a single reddit post. Is there some big problem with the book that makes it not actually a good book that I'm missing? Or is it just more or less ignored for some reason?

Also if anyone else has read it I'd love to hear your thoughts too. Sorry if this is the wrong comm.