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[–] 237 points 3 weeks ago* (4 children)
  • [–] 76 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
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    [–] 190 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    “Pretty soon, I will be declaring the Hormuz Strait a territory of the United States,” Trump said during an address highlighting his administration’s efforts to combat crime in the U.S.

    That'll do it. That'll stop crime in the US for sure. I can follow the logic

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  • [–] 57 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Only losers stick to a single topic. This guy multitasks like no other.

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  • [–] 34 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Nope. Not really. All this random multitasking, all the constant never ending bullshit. It's all actually 1 task.

    That 1 task is called "Distract everybody from the epstein files"

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    [–] 108 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    Absolutely brilliant Trump. And now that you are at it, why not declare China a US territory too?
    I wonder why nobody thought of that before? I guess it's because they don't have big brains. 🤡 🤢 🤣

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    [–] 85 points 3 weeks ago* (1 child)
  • [–] 71 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    How does this dumbfuck manage to get STUPIDER with each passing day? It's like he's studying to get a PhD in Imbecility.

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  • [–] 41 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    His brain is atrophying as his dementia continues to worsen.

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  • [–] 15 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

    I guess there’s still hope then that one of these days a piece of the brain will die where he loses the ability to speak & move. I’ll sleep well tonight to the thought that this vile piece of shit could die slowly, alone and afraid 🤗🛏️

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    [–] 61 points 3 weeks ago* (1 child)
  • [–] 38 points 3 weeks ago
    [–] 35 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

    I’ll declare myself President of the United States.

    Difference is I’d actually show up and do a better job.

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  • [–] 34 points 3 weeks ago* (4 children)

    Isn't it already in Iranian AND Omani waters? You can't just claim something someone already owns...especially a country you're not at war with (Oman).

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  • [–] 22 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    You can’t just claim something someone already owns…especially a country you’re not at war with (Oman).

    Buddy...

    Most wars start because someone claimed someone else's territory...

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  • [–] 11 points 3 weeks ago* (1 child)

    Yeah, anyone can claim whatever they want. Making other people respect your claim is the hard part.

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  • [–] 9 points 3 weeks ago

    Alright. Thats it. I've had enough of these territory disputes. I declaire all of existence to be my territory. Yep. Every single atom that exists. All mine. I own everything now.

    And for anyone who wishes to dispute this, the process is simple. Just take a number, use your toungue to write out a letter of dispute, directly onto my butthole! Anyone who doesn't do this respects my claim to everything.

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    [–] 29 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 child)

    Why not just follow Israel's lead and declare all other countries and the buildings and homes in them property of the United States?

    Then everyone else becomes a criminal tresspasser terrorist and they have to do what we say because they're bad and we're right and it's normal and reasonable for us to zip tie a man's peener and parade him naked in front of his family, and shoot the kids if they so much as look at the rocks that are everywhere because we smashed their neighbors house into rubble the day before.

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    [–] 26 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    I can declare whatever the fuck I want but it doesn't make it real you fuckass

    I have just now declared that the USA is my territory.

    See, nobody cares.

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    [–] 24 points 3 weeks ago

    And I declare that trump's rectum is a Putin territory.

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  • [–] 23 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    Iran should declare Florida an Iranian territory.

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    [–] 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    and i declare i am the empress of MARS. woop de dooo. the emperor has no clothes

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  • [–] 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    According to United States law, any children born in United States territory is considered an US citizen and regardless of the claim being legitimate or not according to the US it is their territory, therefore any child born there would be considered US citizen, basically allowing in free immigration from Iran.

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    [–] 19 points 3 weeks ago
    [–] 19 points 3 weeks ago

    There is a far greater senility problem, than anyone could ever accuse Biden of having. The problem is greater because he has no handlers around him to filter the stupid.

    Trump also announced a few weeks ago that the US would collect 20% tarrifs/tolls on all shipments in the SoH. He had to walk back the stupid 2 days later. The only path towards the stupidity becoming reality is if Iran or Oman becomes a US territory, although planting a US flag on a small rock near the SoH, and setting a precedent of whoever controls that rock has territorial control over the SoH (pure stupid), would legitimize Iran's full claim, after they kill all US troops on the rock.

    This would justify immediate impeachment, or to at least force another cognitive test at congress's request for review by congress.

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  • [–] 17 points 3 weeks ago

    until the markets open up on monday.

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  • [–] 17 points 3 weeks ago

    Yeah I'm sure that will work.

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  • [–] 14 points 3 weeks ago

    Damn...I thought I was the emperor of the universe 😞

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  • [–] 13 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    Anything to distract from the Epstein Files.

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    [–] 13 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

    Somebody tell this 🤡 (and Putin too) that annexations can happen after a war, not during. If you try to do reichskommissariats before the end of the war, you're in shitty company and people will take you less seriously.

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    [–] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Trump declares the moon is his.

    Film at eleven.

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  • [–] 11 points 3 weeks ago*

    Listen and learn boys. This is 12D chess, straight from the grandmaster.

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  • [–] 10 points 3 weeks ago*

    Probably will rename it strait of America as well

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  • [–] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)
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    [–] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Sounds like he’s setting up justification for nukes. They attacked US territory.

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  • [–] 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

    I think at this point he is just jealous that he doesn't have a 10 year war like Vietnam to his name and this is why he is a acting like a spoiled little child regarding this.

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