A lot of women with early life/chronic trauma get told they have borderline even if they don't fully fit the criteria. It's a systemic misogyny thing. I wonder if that is what is going on here?

It is common for people with ADHD and/or autism to develop CPTSD as a result of the way we are treated by others and by the world's inaccessibility. CPTSD absolutely looks like chronic depression with some of the traits of borderline personality disorder. It might be worth considering because there are different treatment options for CPTSD that could be more effective.

I'm always like "Does that make sense?" after I go on for more than a couple sentences and need verbal affirmation that I'm not being silly/confusing

It's truly strange. Hard to believe sometimes that it's 2024 and I'm bedbound from the plague and looking into bloodletting

My Bluetooth speaker died today. Was faltering for a few months, but now it just won't charge anymore. Shut down last night for the final time. I've used it on a daily basis for seven or eight years. It was present for some really important memories. And now it's just trash, I guess. I know it's odd of me but I do feel sad.

No. Can't contribute at my current level of disability. Housebound mostly bedbound, extremely limited in the time I can spend sitting upright and socializing or doing cognitive work.

I feel the same way, but I think for most of these people it's actually about the social rewards/ego strengthening effects and not the material boons. Like, imagine if the constant drumbeat of capitalist society that tells you "you're disposable, you're subhuman, you're nothing" was actually whispering the opposite in your ear. "You've won. You're better than all those wretched people. You are justified, you are sanctified, you made it, you're gonna live forever." Like that kind of external motivation and validation is not a recipe for true happiness, but I have to imagine it feels damn good to have all of society's messaging and all the people you know pretend that you are some elevated class that actually matters.

And the way to prevent it is vaccination, and multiple vaccination is better than single to prevent long COVID.

Fun fact, if you say the word "mask" in 2024 you will spontaneously combust. Also definitely don't cite the actual statistics on how much vaccination reduces the risk of long covid. It totally doesn't matter. Everything is fine.

Are we going to start seeing people get COVID not from infection, but from themselves in reactivation?

I have been wondering about this for ages. In the past year I have seen a couple people who are uber-isolated (bedbound, no medical care) with long covid testing positive repeatedly with no known exposures. Either they're astronomically unlucky, or...

She adds that “fad diets are very unlikely to take off in societies where there are food shortages or food insecurity.”

lil bit of foreshadowing for the coming decade

I used to fast regularly and it made me feel great. Turns out I had celiac and my body was just relieved I was taking a break from poisoning it

I'm really sorry for what your internal mental/emotional landscape must feel like. That is a brutal amount of shame/grief to be carrying around. I mean this genuinely, I hope it improves for you.

I haven't been able to play video games for a while now (severe long covid) but I just started a new solo TTRPG and I'm really enjoying it! It's called Apawthecaria and it's about being an adorable little woodland creature who travels about, harvesting herbs and mixing remedies for the animals you meet along the way.

My character ended up being a pine marten traveling with her fuzzy bat friend, both of them taking to the road as a way of running away from something - for my protagonist, I know it's a near death experience she never really processed, but I have no clue what my bat buddy's deal is yet. When I last left off I was foraging for herbs to help an injured otter at a small lakeside settlement.

I think I stopped looking to "fit in" when I realized my actual desire was to be genuinely loved by others, and to viscerally feel that was true. Being "in the group" was a poor substitute for this feeling. Many groups of people do not love each other very well, and these tend to be the groups that take a lot of energy to conform to.

If you're not marxist/anarchist, activist, vegan, and/or mask wearing, I can't honestly force myself to talk to you.

I feel pretty close to this but I'm still negotiating it for myself. I agree with what you said about "It's shorthand for giving a fuck," because that's how I see it as well. You have to give a fuck in order to love a person, and the dominant culture generates apathy towards others.

When I focus my efforts on covid-conscious people, I know at least that they believe in caring for themselves/others so strongly that they are willing to not only reject the dominant culture, but be materially harmed (harassed or assaulted in public, fired or not hired, verbally abused, shunned, denied services) because of it. This is a good start for being able to love in a friendship, even though it's not everything.

My brain is like that too. "Soft resets" is a good way to put it, it's like all my thoughts just drop and I have to wait 15 seconds for everything to unscramble before I can start thinking again. Please be gentle with yourself - I wish I was at the beginning. If you ever end up developing the variety of long covid I have (ME/CFS) you can actually make yourself much worse by pushing through fatigue, as the exertion causes more of your cells to shift into a damaged state. And it's hard to notice at first because you will just feel generically tired/flu-ish/physically sore like 24-72 hours after pushing yourself.