Update Managed to fix my insurance issue, used what money we got to cover the copay that was left, get our phones paid for another month, and get some supplies. I'm still getting calls daily from the bank and Paypal about accounts being overdrawn and threats of closing them, sending it to collections, etc, to which all I can do is cry and tell them I'm trying to find work and beg them to just give me some time, which they don't respond to except to have someone else call the next day to do it all over again. If this doesn't get filled, we're not going to have electricity soon, and even the landlord is getting tired of the excuses and waiting. Update ends

Copied from original post I'm not good at asking for help, and I tend to just keep my head down and try to get by, but I've been dragging myself and a partner who isn't working through the last couple years, and last month I got fired from my job too.

I don't know what else to do. I don't fit in anywhere, and trying to find somewhere keeps getting my willingness to help abused until I retreat into depression and anxiety and self hatred. I volunteer, and get offered "jobs" where the boss decides pay is just a suggestion, or is substituted with the promise of "real work" which is always just around the corner, just trust them and hold out a couple more weeks/months/until the end of the year.

I'm still looking for work. I've had several interviews, including a couple offer letters that were rescinded after I signed them. I don't drive, and I'm having to look at places that are 2+ hour commutes each way, in jobs that are insisting I work weekends, which is the time the local bus doesn't run outside 8am to 6pm.

I hate having to do this when I know there are people worse off than me, and I feel like I don't deserve any help if I don't figure it out by myself, but I'm trying to fight those feelings and see them as the toxic BS they are. I feel so stuck right now, and it's making my brain spiral.

Anything would help. If you can donate but would prefer not to go through GFM, I'm up for other forms of aid as well, I know some people do meal kits or will order stuff for those in need to ensure funds are being used "appropriately". Just give me a DM and we can figure something out. I appreciate any assistance offered, even sharing the link in other places.

https://gofund.me/25ac374eb

(I posted this previously, and am copying it so I don't have to re-type it.)

I got paid Friday, a couple days early because of the 3 day weekend. First thing I did was pay my bills, so phone/internet/power are taken care of. I paid back some money I borrowed from my mom, got a few necessities and some things for a nice dinner with a couple girlfriends. I had a good evening after work, and just wanted to relax for the weekend. I had something like $700 in the account still, and finally felt like I could maybe start saving for facial hair removal.

Fast forward to this morning. I'm finally getting caught up on sleep, so of course I make the mistake of checking my phone. Email from my bank, my account is overdrawn... by $341. I've been crying ever since.

We just got direct deposit re-enabled, and as far as I can tell, it allowed the companies holding my debts to take as much as they wanted. On the "plus" side, a couple smaller debts are paid off, but I was already making monthly payments on these along with the larger ones, so for them to force it through like this completely destroys any ability I have to try to save or budget for unexpected costs.

(New Stuff starts here)

So I posted this last Tuesday morning, before I went to work. Things went fine there, until on my way home. See, the sidewalk is very uneven around where we live, to the point where it's treacherous for bikes at some points ( no bike lanes and cars frequently try to pass on the shoulder at high speed, even on side roads) I was just walking, but still ended up catching the toe of my shoe on one particularly bad corner, and basically went ass-over-teakettle. I took most of the impact on my wrist, which thankfully isn't broken, but it did get a minor sprain and a nasty gash that's making it hard to work at full capacity.

As if that wasn't enough, the other major point of impact was my other hand, which had been holding my phone. It took the brunt of the damage for that hand, which ended up grinding the glass down so badly that I can see the board underneath. It still "works" as the alarm goes off every morning, but the screen won't turn on. I was due for a replacement, so I was able to get it on a payment plan, but owing more money when I'm already drained (see above) and trying to pay off previous debts is not conducive to my mental health or stability.

I've managed to work most of my scheduled hours by constantly re-wrapping the wounded hand and wearing gloves over it. I'm trying to hunker down and weather things. But the bank has started throwing overdraft charges at me for things I thought I already paid for, and I don't get my next check until the 13th. I'm terrified that they're going to close my bank account and my paypal, or ban me from the bus for not paying fare, or some major bill will have turned out to not have been processed and so is overdue on top of overdrafting me more. I don't know what to do, so I'm begging for help. I haven't been sleeping well, what little self care I was managing has fallen off because I run out of spoons just dealing with work and waking up to this situation every day. I had to throw all the money I had saved for laser hair removal on my face (something I desperately need, but can never seem to have the funds for) at this, and I'm still in the hole. I'm getting towards the end of my rope. Please help if you can. Thank you.

I'm sorry to have to keep bothering you all. I know there are worse things happening and it kills me to be this helpless.

I'm the only one (of 3 trans folk) with a job in my household, and all my money has been going into paying debts, keeping bills from getting worse, and providing food and other necessities for myself and the housemates.

I'm ramping back up to working full time, already worked it out, but it required moving some appointments around, and will take a couple weeks to be fully active.

Anything provided will help take a bit of the stress out of the equation and make it that much easier to get by.

I appreciate any help folks can give, everything from bumps to encouragement to donations means a lot to us.

MykahOrshelack on PayPal @orshelack on Venmo $Orshelack on Cashapp

Can anyone spare $20 so I can get some food and put a couple dollars on my bus pass for work tomorrow? I'm getting increasingly angry letters about past due bills, suffice to say the depression is getting bad again and I don't have much on hand to fight with, a decent hot meal and a few bucks for bus fare so I don't have to argue with drivers on my way to/from work would help a lot.

Mykah Orshelack on PayPal @orshelack on Venmo $Orshelack on Cashapp

I know I don't post much, and most of the posts are things like this, but I lurk & read a lot, and I appreciate all of you. Keep up the fight, I'll try to hang on one way or another. Much love!

EDIT: Fulfilled, thanks!

Posted a few days ago without much luck, but it's been suggested that reposting this would be more effective than bumping it.

The situation is more complicated and serious than I am usually comfortable talking about.

Shortly after the Covid funds stopped being distributed, I was scrambling to get a job again. I thought I had gotten a break when Boeing showed interest, but they did some bs where I was scheduled for a drug test that was required for the hiring process after the deadline was already passed.

While that was going on, I had gotten a reply from an application to work in the kitchen for a catering company that had been bought by Meta to run their cafeteria. The interview went well, and I was asked to come in for a test day.

The test day went fine, the only issue being the bus schedule, as some of the early and late buses had stopped running due to the post covid driver shortage. I was assured that it would not be a problem and that my schedule was flexible enough to accommodate my needs.

I worked there for a single day before it all blew up in my face.

I came in the next morning, and right away I could tell something was wrong. The security guards that had been friendly with me before were scowling and terse. Rather than letting me through to go to the kitchen, they told me that I was to wait in the lobby.

They kept me waiting for three hours without any information or notice, until finally some guy in a suit I had never met walks up, asks me if I'm my name, and tells me to follow him.

I end up in the most asinine meeting/lecture I've ever been in. Lawyers, security guards, and HR reps, yet not a single person I actually dealt with in the hiring process.

This room of hot air and sweaty ladder climbers proceeds to tell me about how I have a contract with them, that I can't alter my agreed upon hours or schedule, and that's why I'm being let go.

I told them I had worked for one day, that I never signed a contract, and that I didn't even have my badge to get in the building yet.

They get all flustered and tell me to wait outside again, and I tell them I'm just going home, that I don't want to work with them, and I wish them luck with filling the position.

This whole time I'd been claiming unemployment from a job I had a few months before the stipends ended. I didn't claim anything for the week that I worked the one day, but I did reference it in my later claims, which was a mistake.

Near as I can tell, unemployment used that one day as an excuse to start trying to draw my unemployment from the place I had worked a single day rather than the job before that was still paying it. This in turn caused Meta to go nuclear, because I end up getting a letter from the unemployment department saying I not only owe the money they paid me for the one day, but tens of thousands of dollars, as now everything I've claimed is being classified as potentially fraudulent.

I've been trying to fight it as best I can, and I even went back to school and got a license in a new field to try and make more money. But it's still a service job, even if it is in healthcare, and I'm not comfortable being an aggressive salesperson to try to make more. I live with my partner and her sister, and they haven't been able to find a job in over a year.

Our rent is largely subsidized by a comrade who has been very kind and willing to help as they can, and I've been warned that they might not be able to afford to let us stay another year. All my money that isn't taken by government debt goes to paying our bills and food. I have no savings, and I've all but given up on the thought of ever getting gender affirming care outside of self dosing estrogen.

And I'm still fighting the urge to delete this whole thing and just go cry or hurt myself. There are so many worse things going on and so many people who don't have the luxury of the problems that I have. Who am I to ask for help? What delusions make me feel like I could ever deserve it?

And yet I ask, despite the fear and trauma instilled in me from past experiences with seeking help, because I don't know what else to do.

Please help me.

(EDIT: Completely forgot to mention, the immediate need is for $120 to cover the phone bill for the house (3 people). I try to save my checks to make payments, but the automatic deduction is very aggressive and sometimes it takes the money I have set aside for the bills in the time between deposit and payment. )

Mykah Orshelack on PayPal, just Orshelack on Venmo and Cashapp. DM me if you want to donate via other channels.

Thanks in advance to everyone who reads, bumps, donates, or replies.

https://www.popsci.com/technology/cybertruck-police-patrol-car/

Finally, a cop car that lights itself on fire!

"Old school"... well, I guess a lot of old schools WERE segregated...

Not just a racist, but a coward who only has enough shame to not say it out loud but not enough to reconsider the whole situation.