[–] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 child)

I get what you're saying, and to a degree I agree with it.

It's not that I don't care, it's that I don't want to care. I don't want to care about what genders people (in general) go by, and would rather be polite to individuals I come across by referring to them the way they ask (in the same way I refer to people who go by a shortened name or their middle name). I have not cared about high school girls sports and won't until my daughter reaches high school... or rather, I have wanted not to. It's a tiny fraction of a tiny fraction of a tiny fraction of the population, and I want their existence to not register with me until I come across them organically (e.g. a trans girl on my daughter's cross country team). I want to not know about neo-pronouns without either taking a gender studies class or meeting someone who uses them (which I have yet to in 43 years). Or if there is a trans character or one who uses neo-pronouns in a game that just is that without that being their whole character (e.g. Krem from Dragon Age Inquisition). I want those people to just exist in the world without me giving any more concern to their sense of identity or whatever as any other of the 10 billion people on the planet I don't know and don't give a shit about except they are humans and I want them to be well.

I WANT to not care, but I'm not being let to because people feel the need to pick on them, make laws against them existing, or deny them equal opportunities for spurious reasons. And every time a conservative type complains about everything trans related and having to deal with pronouns and everything else, I'm like "it's because of you! You're doing this! I wouldn't have to be concerned with them beyond knowing they exist if it weren't for you!"

I don't want to sound callous, because I do care about how LGBTQ+ people are treated. And I wish I didn't because they just existed without me having to care.

Edit: I also think people are misunderstanding your point. Like I said, I never cared about girls high school sports, so when some conservative speaking against trans girls on girls soccer teams offering some hyperbole of The Rock (or comparable AMAB player) on a girls soccer team to suggest the supposed absurdity of having a trans girl on the team, you couldn't pay me to care (about that argument). Even if it were to be the case, which it never, ever, ever is.

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  • [–] 43 points 2 weeks ago

    So this probably doesn't help (except to back other people's experiences), but there was an asian massage place across from the place I got oil changes and tire swap/rotations (as stud to normal and back). I went there a couple times (first was weird about tipping, but I figured it was a communication issue), got comfortable with it, and the third time the lady put her hand on my junk and just raised her eyebrows. I slowly shook my head, and she went back to a regular massage. That was the last time I went there.

    My wife was actually super upset. Not at me, but for me, saying I had been sexually assaulted. I had to explain that while technically that might be true, I was not in a position of vulnerability, she was just doing her thing (and I was clearly in the wrong place), and I get to define my own experience.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 weeks ago

    I like combination jokes:

    What's brown and sticky?

    Tap for spoilerA stick.

    What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

    Tap for spoilerDr. Dre

    Or:

    What do you call a cow with three legs?

    Tap for spoilerLean beef

    What do you call a cow with no legs?

    Tap for spoilerGround beef

    What do you call a cow with two legs?

    Tap for spoilerMom.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    I tell people I hate being wrong, so the sooner I am corrected or can correct myself the better.

    And the answer is... whenever I'm wrong. I am fairly diligent about thinking through what I say and do, but everybody makes mistakes or lacks knowledge, so I am quick to admit being wrong when I am.

    Also, counterintuitively, quickly and casually admitting to being wrong often serves to make people forget you were wrong in the first place. My wife and I have had conversations where she admits being wrong (after entirely too much argument), and comments about how I'm never wrong. And I tell her I'm wrong all the time, I just admit it quickly instead of making a big deal about it, so it's not very memorable. (As we've gotten older, those conversations have become more rare, but she still had me 3D print a medal and trophy wall mount, where she gets a "You Were Right" medal or a trophy each time she's right... like when she convinced me to take my vomiting dog to the vet at night on a weekend and saved his life, and ended up with a dachshund trophy for her wall)

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  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago

    What year is this? That type of humor was overdone in the 90's, and irrelevant now. Even in the early 2000s it was normal to split bills or trade off paying. Same with the "wish I were gay" nonsense. I'll be honest, I didn't get past that.

    May as well be joking about Y2K. Totally anachronistic.

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  • [–] 16 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    I don't work in programming (helicopter maintenance/repair), but my boss goes one step further.

    Boss: How long until it's ready for a test flight?

    Me: I'd say...

    Boss: Wait. Give me an honest number, don't add buffer time. I'm already going to double whatever you say to tell District.

    Me: Oh, okay, with paperwork and ops checks, 3 hours is feasible, as long as we don't encounter any other issues.

    Boss: roger, six hours, sounds good.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    This feels awfully disrespectful to the waiter/waitress. Get your shit figured out so they can take your order instead of coming back to you four times because you spent 20 minutes at their table before you bothered to pick up a menu.

    Rich people figured out this one cool trick where you treat the people providing you services with no regard, like the peasants they are.

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