So, in general, I never dream. So maybe this isn't that weird of a dream to people who are used to having weird dreams. But for me, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this information. So I'm posting it here, so we can all laugh at how insane this dream is.
So I'm back at my childhood house that I grew up in. At the end of the driveway is a 2 car garage. That's real in real life. In real life, if you walk behind the garage, there's nothing there. It's just spiderwebs, a lot of unraked leafs, and a chain link fence that separates the properties. In the dream however, there was a doorway back into the garage. That doesn't exist in real life. So this is where things get weird.
I'm 5 years old again for some reason. I see this door behind the garage, and I go through the door. Except I don't go into the garage. Instead, I see a stairway that goes into a basement. So I start walking down the stairs, which then turns into an MC Etcher painting, and now I'm no longer going DOWN the stairs, I'm coming UP the stairs into an upside down universe.
I'm coming up to the top of the stairs, and I'm inside a house. A fairly large house. It had a kitchen, 3 different living rooms. A second floor that had about 5 bedrooms, and an attic that I never went in.
As I'm walking around this house, there are women everywhere. With babies. I'm white, but these women were ethnic of some kind. It was never explained if they were latino, or arabic. I'm really bad at knowing what ethnicity someone is, so my brain probably mashed together features of both.
These women were all living in the same house. Probably about 9 women. Most of them had babies in their arms. There were also small children running around and playing. Clearly their children. I am white and clearly not one of their children.
As I walk around I get this split sense of people living two different lives. The kids running around were playing, and any time their own kids were in the room, they'd smile, and everything was happy. Whenever I'd walk into a room with just the women, and me clearly not their child, the mood changed drastically. These women were scared, tired, and struggling. It was never explained what was happening, but they were clearly putting on a front to let their children experience happyness while they were miserable. They looked like they had all recently been in some sort of domestic abuse situation.
And as I walked around, everyone knew that I owned the house. The kids happily greeted me, and wanted to play. But I was looking for something. I was doing something important. I had no time to play. When I'd be in rooms without the kids, the women all looked at me as I had a right to be there, but also my presence made them nervous. One women had scarves wrapped around her arm, that had a spot in the middle which held back blood. I asked who did this? She didn't answer. No adult would answer me.
I wandered the house, looking for answers, but the kids would only engage me as a kid to play with, and the adult women wouldn't interact with me at all. They saw me as both a threat, and a child that needed to be protected. So they said nothing, but offered no help.
I explored the upstairs where I found a woman sitting in a chair. Not crying now, but it was clear she had recently been crying. She ignored my presence as I continued to look for whatever it was I was looking for. Scanning room by room, I never found it. So I came back downstairs.
When I walked out of the front door, I was in an entirely different neighborhood. I looked around, at streets I'd never seen before. Houses lined like a normal American street, except there was not a single car. No people. The houses windows all had full curtains blocking every window.
As I'm taking in this sight, and wondering where I even was, or how I got here, one of the kids pushed me away from the door, while another slammed the door shut. He said "We can't go out there. We can't open our door or they'll find us....."
I asked "Who?"
And that's when the dream ended.
What the hell was that all about??? On the rare occasion I do have a dream, it's either a recurring dream that I've had for 30 years, and every time I KNOW it's a dream, because I've been through this shit before, so I have fun in the dream. I'll do things I'd never do in real life, like be mean to people for no reason. Or jump off a building knowing it doesn't matter. OR I'll have a funny dream, where everything exists to entertain me.
This dream......I don't know what it was. I don't think I could classify it as a nightmare, but it just had this erie awful feeling. Like I was living in the first half of a suspense film, that I walked into 15 minutes too late. So I missed the plot explaining what was going on, and now I was just there.
I know in the end, the answer is "It was just a dream, it means nothing.", but right now, after having just woke up, my brain cannot shut up yelling "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED???"
The irony being, my brain is the one that created ALL of that, and now it wants answers. I still want to know what the threat was. Who did all this to them. They were living in there, like multiple families. As I write this, I realize a good analogy must have been Anne Frank's family. Except they weren't Arabic, but the tone kind of fits. Imagine if them hiding in that attic, and suddenly the shop keep's son comes upstairs. They'd all be freaking out, except the kids. I don't consider Anne Frank a kid. She was 13. She knew enough of the world to know she was living in a fucked up situation. But the little kids in the attic may have had that information shielded from them. So it was kind of like that......except it was all in a house that I somehow owned despite just discovering it. And it existed in some kind of parallel universe that you access by going behind the garage of my childhood home, and going down/up a twisting set of stairs.
Guys. I think my own brain trolled me last night....I'm now sitting here, feeling terrible for what these women must have gone through. Then I have to remind myself I don't know what these women went through. It was never exactly explained....oh and also THESE WOMEN NEVER EXISTED!!!
So now I'm unclear how I should start my Saturday.
I'm hungry though.
