Ohhh my bad, I didn't read it as you intended
Yeahhh lol, pretty much. That would be cool as hell (considered outside of the context of capitalism ofc) if they did actually "learn" like that, big if true for the claims that LLMs are alive, but doesn't work that way at all lol
Yeah, I think they are recycling interactions with users back into training data, idk like anything about how they're doing it though cuz you run the risk of model collapse right? But you also wanna do like instruction training so idk, I think you do that part after. Also ofc a lot of their base training data was scraped from the internet and that place is generally pretty vile and filled with similar interactions
Also also, I wanna push back slightly on the "rationalizing" thing cuz even in scare quotes it kinda accepts the treat defender and technolibertarian-utopian framing of these things as having intelligence at all rather than just mixing and regurgitating things that were in the training data. Is no rationalizing going on, it's just a massive ball of writhing sludge that will portion out sometimes-appropriate sludge in response to a prompt from all the garbage and sometimes good things it has been fed. Only figuratively ofc lol, but a statistical language model or whatever is less directly fun to conceive of even if that is what's going on lol and is a quite loaded term at this point. I get what you mean though
"Actually, did you consider it's your fault the text-sludge machine said you should die? You clearly didn't take into account the invisible and undetectable letters that one of these other grand, superior machines put into their answers into order to prevent the humans they take care of from misusing their wisdom" 
(I have no idea what they're talking about, maybe those Unicode language tag characters (and idk why a model would even emit those, especially in a configuration that could trigger another model to suicide bait you wtf lmao) and I think most or all of the commercial AI products filter those out at the frontend cuz people were using them for prompt injection)
"Unthinking text-sludge machine, please think for me about why this other sludge machine broke and '''tried''' to hurt someone" lmao
Purge treat machine worshipping behavior, the machine cannot fail, only you can fail the machine
Just wanna say I remembered that comment exists and I went back and read it when I first started on Vyvance like a bit over a month ago and it really helped prepare me lol
Another ReadFanon banger :3
That autism thing is so real, I've had my ND friends tell me I "seem autistic" for years but I didn't actually think it was even a possibility until after I started on the meds lol
Am soooo glad you found something that seems to be working for you 
In addition to all the other replies I just wanna say, cuz this is something I also worried about when I started, that I've been on Vyvance for a little over a month and I still get the ADHD-helping effects quite strongly lol. It varies ofc depending on how well I've been treating myself, like getting enough sleep and exercise, eating well, etc
I don't feel like that... tingly, mood-lifting, stim-high feeling* as much but I'm still so surprised by how well I can focus on stuff now. The side effects (like me slightly chewing holes in my mouth the first few days wtf lol) were kinda scaring me but they mostly disappeared, especially after I quit caffeine which I had been using excessively for many years (one of the worst drugs imo, you maybe get like 2 hrs of anxious energy out of it on a good day in exchange for never sleeping well). For so many years I had just accepted my brain was just totally cooked forever and I was destined to just be tired and spaced out most of the time. Okay though, tbh, it doesn't always mean I'm focusing on what I should lmao, but I can when/if I need to now (a lot of this energy has ended up going into projects lol). Also I have a control over eating that would have seemed impossible to me 2 months ago, for years I struggled with binge eating but now I can prepare a meal of an appropriate size, eat it, and then just... stop when it's enough, consciously, and I'm already losing weight. Similarly to your experience, it took me a while, years in my case, to get diagnosed and then medicated by finding a doctor who actually listens to me and isn't just mean. I have also been misdiagnosed as bipolar lol, by someone who wasn't even qualified to do it and after I had already been diagnosed with ADHD
Idk, maybe I'm still in this "honeymoon phase" too but it feels... sustained so maybe this rly is just how it is :3
Also that "stimulants can bring out your autism more" thing is real lol. Idk if I'm just noticing it more or if it's actually """"worse"""" now but yeh hehe, I actually like it cuz I've been so out of touch with my feelings and masking behaviors for many years
Also also, I'm sure you're good but pls make sure to stay on top of your needs cuz I have this ability now to just push through things like being hungry or thirsty or tired even when I should take a break and address them. Idk if that's what it's like for "normals" but... yeh. Is good, even if you're working on some task, to just take a break and chill and listen to and address your needs like our comrade @[email protected] said or you will crash rly hard lol, as happened to me a few times
*:
cw: drug abuse (by definition I guess)
Obviously I DONUT encourage this and advise great caution and not doing this until you're on the meds for a while and have figured out how they affect you consistently or even ever but.........
I'm pretty sure I could get that feeling back as strongly if I wanted to and made a hedonistic recreation day out of this one day by taking a double dose, then skipping the next couple of days lol
Gotta say though, my desire to use drugs for fun and background-pain-radiation-relief is lower than it's been in a long time since going on Vyvance cuz I feel like the world isn't as(emphasis) completely overwhelming
Cycling through various psych meds is so unbelievably frustrating.
Rly is, thing that always bothered me was the cycling of withdrawing from something and starting new thing and just trying to get through all the initial side effects that make it even harder to stay living than usual lol. And it's like...... this is destroying my life rn I can't afford to taper off for 3 months
Turns out my current psych doc is willing to prescribe MAOIs which is great because I've always wanted to look into that class. Started with selegiline patch, it actually seemed like it might be helpful, I at least had more energy and motivation, but turns out I'm allergic to the adhesive and I kept reacting to it more and more until it was basically one big hive underneath when I took it off.
Idk where you are ofc but in the Burgerreich and most "western" countries, EXTREMELY RARE type of doctor lol, am glad you found someone like that. (hyperbolic, figurative) Ever single one I have ever met thinks MAOIs just turn you into a time bomb that explodes upon any contact to cheese lmao. Tbh........ there was this time a few years ago when I could no longer take the mental strain of interacting with these rly mean doctors who could not consider anything other than SSRIs and depression so I was just self-medicating by trying a couple of different things on my own
WORST experience I ever had with a doctor was trying to see a psychiatrist and see if they would prescribe me an MAOI cuz I was seeing some success with moclobemide (only MAOI besides selegiline you can even get from the online pharmacies cuz the others are so rare). I went into her office and she berated me, made me cry (usually I can hold that til after), started to check my blood pressure while I was crying, found that it was slightly higher than normal and blamed it on moclobemide (wtf, these drugs were the first ANTI-hypertensives, my blood pressure was high cuz of the emotional ordeal), made me sign some release form I didn't wanna sign, then I dragged myself out of the office and found out that she had called my family members and told them something like I was killing myself so I had to explain all this shit to my dad and ughhhh. Then I felt so bad I cold turkeyed the moclobemide, went into a deep depression for a bit
Doctor is unwilling to prescribe oral or sublingual form, saying there's not enough evidence for its effectiveness on depression...
Sorry to hear :( If you have one of the very cool doctors (they're already cool for actually considering MAOIs), maybe they would be receptive to reading some of the studies that show, not directly, that sublingual selegiline has somewhat similar pharmocokinetic profile to the patch version (I think, it's been years since I read those). Oral selegiline is the easiest to use ofc, but requires much higher doses and the small risk of the tyramine hypertensive situation does go up slightly cuz most of it goes into neutralizing gut MAO-B and MAO-A at such high oral doses (which is why it's dosed so high relative to sublingual or the patch btw, have to get enough into the brain after first-pass metabolism)
Regardless it must be worth a try, even off-label, after so many years of conventional stuff, right? Selegiline is like the safest irreversible MAOI too
Btw, after none of the depression stuff rly worked for me very well (sertaline is the best I ever tried out of like.... a lot of antidepressants, but that's probably cuz I developed an anxiety disorder later lol), I got an ADHD diagnosis which explains a lot and stimulant meds have been helping me lately. I rly wish all the shitty doctors I saw for depression could have...... actually investigated further and helped me realize this sooner cuz it's really obvious to me now. No wonder most of my friends are have some combo of autism or ADHD lol. People also keep telling me I have autism too, not worth the diagnosis process but probably lol
Now I'm on removedlcypromine (parnate), which is actually what I would have picked for myself to start off with. After 2 months ramping up it couldn't be more different than the last med, I'm sleepy all the time, 0 motivation. I haven't gotten a single thing done for like 3 weeks and have called in to work 3 times. I'm not sure whether to try and power through or taper off but either way I'm in for quite a bit more of this since, unlike selegiline, you cannot quit this one cold turkey. Next up would be phenelzine (nardil), which is also very likely to make me sleepy.
Rip, drug name got sremovedhorped lol. Am sorry to hear you're not seeing any success :( It's been years since I thought about this stuff but... you might also consider talking about trying isocarboxazid (also I'm inferring you maybe are in the Burgerreich from these drug choices available lol, btw if you don't already know: "reversible" MAOIs with little-to-no risk of tyramine reaction and which you can go on and off off sooner, exist) with your doctor cuz ofc phenelzine, or its metabolites, is famous for also inhibiting an enzyme which breaks down GABA in the brain, which could make you even sleepier (or paradoxically and despite GABA being like... the main inhibitory neurotransmitter, might make you less sleepy lol, all this shit is so complicated and everyone reacts differently ofc)
Btw, since MAOIs are so misunderstood even by doctors, you might find Dr. Ken Gillman's website useful: https://www.psychotropical.com/maoi/ He's a psychiatrist who has been treating people for years with these drugs and advocates for their increased usage especially in cases of treatment-resistant depression, so you may find some of his insight useful. At least I did when I was trying to figure this stuff out for myself years ago, apparently he has since redesigned the website (tbh I much preferred the mid 2000s plain text blog format lol) but all the content still looks to be there. Just best to keep in mind: he is quite biased toward them and it's best not to take it all immediately at face value ofc. As far as I know he's very legit, has a bunch of research published, but is rly critical of a lot of psychiatry and it comes across a lot in this informal format which sometimes makes the crank detectors go off lol, at least it did mine rn when I was skimming it again
Solidarity from another fighter in the protracted people's war on depression, I hope this wasn't too hard to read lol
Please, stop fighting, Hexbear is a chaos unity site
How can we expect to defeat necro-capitalism and its corpse emperors 
without all our contradictory aspects?
The Great Game has only precluded this
Do you think dialectical thinking can only be applied to political economy? Genuinely asking cuz as I have learned more and more about it I keep seeing it everywhere lol. It's also fun seeing western academia reinvent new dialectical forms of thinking over and over in spite of the dominant rabid anti-communism lol
To me, rly, it seems like an unfortunately-often-vague-and-misunderstood philosophical approach toward explaining the behavior and development of complex systems that can't be described satisfactorily by the opposite approach of metaphysical methods based on external static, strictly categorized and consistent, solely-determining repeating relationships of cause and effect
Ofc Engels thought dialectics was more than just a mode of thought but something like the way reality functioned fundamentally (idk, I should go back and finish reading Anti-Duhring), didn't he? Idk how you would reconcile this with modern physics butttt......
Have been thinking about a formal system of """"dialectical"""" logic for a few years on and off, recently actually been reading more about the various paraconsistent formal logical systems created to address the many shortcomings of classical first-order logic (math nerds legit had to reinvent basic concepts of abstract math like a century ago cuz they couldn't reconcile the fact that naive set theory is inconsistent and therefore proves everything is true according to that logic) since I got some meds for my ADHD that let me focus better lol. USSR actually had a Lysenko-type guy ("Ivan Orlov", he uhhhh didn't like Einstein's theories of relativity among other things apparently, I just found a paper of his on some Russian crank website lol) for logic lol, turns out he was doing stuff with relevance logic before almost anyone else was (that is known). I'm very 
and I can't find most of his publications cuz I don't speak Russian and most of it is rly obscure but modal and relevance logics are pretty cool imo
Point of all of this being I think dialectics has many useful applications, especially to understand complex systems like this site lol
They have ARDS 
Unending social murder
How many more will die to keep the blood-treats flowing?
Pls, not again 
Same here, ty 
Had one of our just-unbanned users drop a rly heartfelt reply about how the site helped her realize she was trans and get through some rly bad times in her life and it upset her a lot to see the behavior of some of the admins
It's rly silly drama but the site has legit helped people
Okay I gotta log off fr now, am tired and this is starting to loop back around from upsetting to hilarious lol, bad state to be in for sincere talking and I spend enough energy on this
Edit: Post I mentioned is here if you wanna read: https://hexbear.net/comment/5618885
cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/3809136
mi kelci fi'o se datro li re so lo bridi logji bo cmavo ku .e lo ma'a so'i mimta pixra
ku noi nenri le ma'a catni ke bralai namcu spuda ke'e pinka .i mi pu tavla le cribe kibystu pendo ku lo nu go'i ku tu'i na'ebo le cribe kibystu ja'e lo du'u mi morji lo du'u la .lojban. cu zasti .i mi ca troci cilre la .lojban. noi ke'a ka'e remoi le'i mi slabu bangu ku'o .i la .lojban. goi ko'a cinri zdile mi le ka na ambigu gerna kei ku noi za'i lo skami ka'e genturfa'i ko'a zo'e ri'a ke'a ku'o .e to'anai le ka logji stura poi pu'u lo so'i prenu ku da'asnu za'a ke'a ku'o .e le ka zu'o lu'a le'i so'u bangu sidbo pu'i se gunma ja'e le nu ma'a tavla zu'i .i ui ko'a sabji lo cinmo cmavo .e lo djuno krinu cmavo .i i'o ko'a melbi mi .i fe ko'a pu dajne platu le du'u piro ko'a pu'i bacru
.i ni'o iiru'e u'inai mi ca pacna lo nu mi ba te pinka dei tu'i ti mu'i lo nu mi ba pagbu au lei to'e glico zdile bo nelci renma
ku vau vau poi ka xamgu .e lo nu do'o jimpe fi dei seja'enai lo mi so'i srera ku ba'a u'u
mostly literal translation
I playing, on the 29th, with the predicate logic-"structure words" and our many meme pictures, inside our official (large-number reply) post. I was talking with a bear-website friend about the event in the previous sentence, in a place other than the bear-site, with the result being that I remembered that Lojban exists. I am now attempt-learn Lojban, which could become second-in-the-set of the set "my known languages". (I guess I could have just said something like "my second language"..... fuck it, we're being logical) Lojban, also known as it-1, interesting-fun, to me it is, because of the property of a not ambiguous grammar, which, incidentally, is related to the continuous state that (a computer could parse it-1(referring to: "Lojban") according to a formal grammar because of rel-it(referring to: "the property of a not ambiguous grammar")) being true, and, returning to the main point, the property of the logic-structure, which is related to a process of (many people debating, which I have observed, about rel-it("the property of the logic-structure) (I am trying to say this property is debated a lot, I maybe am misusing relative clauses idk, also hard to translate), and the property of the activity of elements of the small set "language concepts" can [and have] combine with the result that the event of we talk how we usually do (I am trying to say we can "do a lot with a little", this sounds
as a literal translation, I probably am overcomplicating lol). [happy] it-1(Lojban) provides "emotion-"structure words" (tone indicators) and "knowledge-reason "structure words"" (markers to indicate why you came to believe something). [appreciative] it-1(Lojban) is beautiful to me. (4th argument to verb) it-1(Lojban) was carefully-designed so that all of it-1(Lojban) could be and has been spoken.
[new topic marker] [fear, weak] [tiredness] I [currently] hope the event of me [future] posting this here, because of my motive that the event of me becoming [desired] part of the mass "opposite-of-English fun-enjoyer people", has the property of "acceptable", and that the event of you and others comprehending this results despite "my many mistakes"[anticipated, apologetic].
I read that thread about Gursimran Kaur
Normally I'm kinda numb to all the various horrors of imperialist-monopoly capitalist society but today is one of those days where I feel a little bit more in touch with how I feel. I can't really cry anymore but this had me on the edge of tears :(
They aren't accepting any more donations rn but I put it here anyway too: https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-the-family-of-gursimran-who-lost-her-life-at-walmart
I started writing something expressing my sympathy and my experience working for Walmart, then it spiraled and spiraled into an essay and it started to feel out of place and I burned out when I started writing about absolute surplus value so I thought I would elevate this concept to a thread and write a little about it :/
I don't wanna overstate it but it was a fucking horrible experience. I've gone through 2 periods of working in a Walmart "supercenter" and both ended with me having some kind of mental breakdown and losing my job. Tbh the only reason I'm not homeless rn is I was able to move back in with family after the last time. I have ADHD, probably autism too, and idk... it's like I can handle it for a while, like a year or 2, and I just start progressively decompensating until I can't even drag myself out of bed anymore even with the threat of losing everything. Ofc, this is intentional, the turnover rate is extremely high and the point is to work people as hard as possible until they burn out... but I did meet some "lifers" too during my time there.
I was never locked inside a fucking oven though, I can't even imagine how horrifying an end that would be :(
I have been locked inside freezers or coolers though, I'm just glad there were people around to let me out and that store management was generally fast to get the fucking inside latches fixed. And the rate of work is usually so fast that safety is an afterthought. I've had neck-breakingly heavy boxes almost fall on me, tripped in really bad places, had people almost hit me in the head with things, like a pallet once (wtf, I was getting something from a low shelf on the sales floor and someone threw a fucking pallet right past my head onto the floor, I looked back at him and it was like he didn't even register I was there, he turned his brain off and was on automatic mode idk)
All these memories are really tied up with Marxism for me too cuz one of my work coping mechanisms was listening to theory audiobooks or podcasts all day whenever I could get away with it lol. I should have been doing union-building but I'm a total mess so instead I was doing that 
of building a precise model of this duplicitous world inside my head or whatever
It's all such a blur whenever I think about it, hard to pull anything concrete out of those times to put in words tbh. Bad shit would happen to me like a coworker or customer (most likely the latter) would yell at me or I would focus on and worry about some social mistake I made and I would start to break down, not be able to talk to people or keep up social conventions like the right amount of eye contact or saying the right words or.... idk, some days my brain just totally melted and I was acting "weird" I guess, idk :(
One thing that stands out to me is how many days where we could barely keep up with work or a lot of previously mentioned similar bad things would happen and at the end of the day I could just barely keep it together enough to clean up and drag myself to my car before totally collapsing and just crying for a while before I could find the strength to go home and go to bed. And the overtime 
, and actually I don't mean regular overtime even cuz that's really bad enough but at least you're usually not alone, I mean the overtime where you somehow got yourself into some situation where everyone else in your department has left but you're still there trying to clean up or finish something or the boss gave you something you thought would be easy but it wasn't or some similar thing. Baddddddd feeeelinngggg, cuz if you truly can't handle it on your own, the other departments DO NOT wanna help you cuz they're busy drowning in their own work so they will be really mean about it if you try to get help, mostly the management. That didn't happen often but yeh
The only positive I can remember rn, and its a HUGE positive, is solidarity with my coworkers (the non-class-traitorous ones). Cuz it's not just me experiencing all this stuff ofc, I saw other people break down in similar ways or get stuck in bad situations and I would try to help, sometimes they would help me. Even just little things like advice or help with a task or helping cover up your slacking for you lol really helps make the misery better. One of my coworkers at the last store I worked at was going through a really hard time raising a kid on her own, was really tired and broke all the time, so I would try to help her out with tasks sometimes, listen to her talk about stuff, bought her lunch once or twice, even just gave her a hug sometimes. In hindsight I feel like I have this habit of overextending myself socially, maybe should be better at setting boundaries :/
I think people bought me lunch a couple of times too lol. A lot of my coworkers were really cool, but ofc there were the misanthropic class-traitorous types who would snitch on you to the boss, rationalized their job being terrible as being the fault of all their lazy never-doing-any-work coworkers. Would try to turn it to a more class-conscious management-antagonistic direction if it came up in conversation, worked sometimes at least. Cool ones would help with stuff or give advice all the time, I'm not sure I could have made it as long as I did without that
I've been unemployed for a while now, except for a brief time at Amazon (DO NOT RECOMMEND, it was even worse), and now I don't know what to do 
, I'm a self-taught computer-toucher but all I know for doing for work is retail so I'm probably gonna have to go back sometime and start this working-burnout cycle again :(
I could go on but I feel like is getting too long, I hope you liked, would love to hear your stories too. Will try to reply if I have the energy lol. Feel free to ask any questions too if you want
Sorry for this being kinda a mess, I'm writing even worse than usual today for some reason
Been not posting for a bit for bad-feeling reasons and now this
Shit just keeps getting worse and worse
One antigen test (all I had/can afford) is negative but I'm almost certain its covid cuz my friend I see all the time is sick and someone they live with has a confirmed case :(
I have never felt more doomer in my life, can't stop thinking about not living
I don't want to get worse anymore
At least this time I don't feel so sick
Been off the site mostly for a bit cuz I've been feeling bad :(
I've been living with my family again since my life fell apart and they eat even worse than me. I have things to eat but I want to eat fresh food, stuff that you couldn't buy at a hardware store. Tired of eating absolute slop cuz there's nothing else
I just confirmed that this place has a lead water service line and I'm afraid to drink the water. I knew it probably had one before and I grew up here so the damage is probably already done but yeh
I am such a ball of anxiety I can't stop thinking about the lead water or the peeling paint here or dust from when my family was doing work on this ancient house in the most negligent way possible some months ago
I miss having a place to live where the people I live with just barely tolerate me and don't go on rants about immigrants and crime waves and demonrats and where I don't have to worry about being poisoned slowly just by existing
Anyway, whining over, most of 
should be bulldozed and the debris buried in a big pile which is designated a toxic waste zone 
, everything is full of toxic chemicals and heavy metals unless you have money and can afford the good things and it's driving me insane
It's not urgent but if you wanna help I would really appreciate it
Links for money-sending that do not identify me (I hope this means it can stay up):
(I think this one has anonymous money-sending capability without needing an account)
Cash app: $paxxap
Thank you for reading, sorry for asking, the online work I was doing has dried up for now :(
I am elevating this from megathread post to real post
I regret looking at X almost every time
This weird discourse has done actual psychic damage I think
Can someone make this make sense to me? Not uncritically adopting the weaponization of language traditionally, normally even, used to attack queer and neurodiverse people against less-lib American reactionaries by Democrats makes you a fed? It's not a hill I would die but yeah
We are truly reaching levels of normality never seen before, regardless of how not weird and normal it is in many sections of society to be a turbo-reactionary
Have we entered a period where internet leftists and ~~K-hive~~standard internet left-libs become almost indistinguishable? I feel like I'm stuck in the event horizon of a terminally online singularity, spiraling toward a center of infinite onlineness
The most online people I have ever seen are telling other online people to log the fuck off, the 🥥🌴 usernames are joining with the 🍉🇵🇸 usernames in fed-jacketing people, the Democrat campaign is reposting dril tweets
We are cooked, the 
internet singularity consumes us all
Weirdn ormal weird werird normal couch weird weird normal
Fire alone can save our country....
MAinm
Ty, much appreciated
I need to use tone indicators more, I feel like they should be normalized more especially on the internet. Way we write on the internet does kinda indicate tone ("lol", "smh", ":3", etc) but it's not explicit or in any kind of standardized way rly. You added "no notes" in there which is also kinda like a tone indicator basically lol
In Lojban, this constructed language kinda based on first-order predicate logic I've been learning recently, we actually a wide variety of tone indicators that you can attach to anything from single words to entire sentences. All things in the language can be spoken aloud too just like they're written so you don't even need to intone your sentences or use body language irl, you can just drop like a speakable emoticon while you're speaking to make it explicit which is rly cool to me :3 especially cuz I miss stuff like that a lot irl and even more online
We don't have a sarcasm or irony indicator (that I know of....... should make one) but I guess you could use the humor marker "zo'o" (pronounced mostly like you would think but the apostrophe is kinda like an 'h'). Oh actually, you could also maybe use the indicator "je'unai" which indicates falseness (in the sense of a logical truth value) to make clear you're not actually asserting something, combined with "zo'o" I think that would be pretty clear indicator of irony in the sense of humorously asserting something that's false
Unrelated to thread topic but yeh lol
Bit idea: just saying "colon three" aloud :3