893
Seals (mander.xyz)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 134 points 1 year ago

Morals of a seagull fucking got me

[-] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago

Seagulls are vicious and vindictive bastards.

[-] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago

An amoral, thieving, all-terrain plaguebearer.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

The real winged rats. Pigeons are generally nice enough, seagulls will swoop down and steal your whole basket of french fries out of your hands.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

I would never besmirch rats. Rats have compassion and intelligence and humor. If I wanted to compliment a seagull then I would call it a winged rat.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I like rats, and I knew I'd rightly get this response. But a NYC rat would definitely steal a whole pizza from you if you gave it the opportunity.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Rats learn behavior and it's echoing NYC.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Seagulls are smart motherfuckers

[-] [email protected] 54 points 1 year ago

So what I’m hearing is they’re sea huskies

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Do huskies have the morals of a seagull?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Do most animals choose between right and wrong, or are they acting on instinct?

[-] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago

Huskies are definitely able to discern between right and wrong. They just don't care.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Can confirm. My husky knows what she's supposed to do, she does what she wants as long as I don't say anything.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

We used to think that animals couldn't feel pain now we know plants can. The whole idea animals just go off instinct is wildly outdated and comes from the junk science era of fascist human supremacy. They probably do have morals and they definitely don't align with ours.

That being said insects have a pretty good case for being instinct only considering they live such short lives but then again some bugs can go as far as recognize faces so maybe we're vastly underestimating their capabilities too. Slight tangent, their vision is also a lot better than we give them credit for too, segmented eyes have basically infinite depth of field and the vision quality isn't as bad as one would think.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

We used to think that animals couldn't feel pain now we know plants can.

There's a real big [citation needed] on this sentence.

[-] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Scientists: "Plants can communicate damage through a pathway exactly like a nervous system"

Google results: "Plants don't feel pain because they don't have a brain"

sigh I don't know what I expected. Fucking fascists... Sorry, can't cite this one because it goes against the agenda google wants to push.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

Least brain-broken take. That's like taking an econ class and saying "I'm not seeing any evidence capitalism is a broken failing system"

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

No, your take is like saying that capitalism is an infallible system, searching for evidence that capitalism is infallible, not finding any, then concluding that it's just the internet being brainwashed by leftists.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I was going to say Sea-Min-Pin but the OP never used "on PCP" as a descriptor.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Jokes like that risk the health and safety of your ankles.

[-] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago

Yeah, Sea Lions are obnoxious and destructive but not usually malicious. But Seals can be mean just for fun. They would make excellent early 2000s prank show hosts.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Id guess most people think of fur seal pups or something when they think of seals. I think of the leopard seal. Mean motherfuckers

[-] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago

the intelligence of a toddler

Is that more or less intelligence than a cat?

[-] [email protected] 64 points 1 year ago

Fun fact, trying to determine if a dog is more intelligent than a cat is nearly impossible because that it's hard to tell if the cat doesn't understand the test or just can't be bothered.

[-] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

Wasn’t there a study on cats that concluded something like „cats know when you call their name but just don’t care“?

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

That's correct. Although all 7 of ours will come when called.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

The cat understand perfectly the test, but think that, if you like it so much, leave me alone and do it yourself. A dog is a pack animal and for this reason it obeys, yes or yes, the leader of the pack, the owner, a cat or felines in general, with the exception of lions, they are solitary hunters and do not have the concept of a leader, A cat sees you as an equal, at most a friend, but not as a leader. This has nothing to do with intelligence, but with the very nature of these animals.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Cats just require a different approach. But it's far from impossible to train them as long as you adapt, just as you would for any various species of animal. This guy has figured out how to train cats and he's hardly the only one.

Lots of cats big and small are very social, even if they don't form packs in the wild.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Yes, cats can form groups when this offers them advantages in food and survival, as is frequently seen in stray cats, but they are anarchic groups, without fixed leadership. Naturally you can train cats, but only if they see an advantage in following what they have learned, they must be convinced to follow your instructions, which is much more complicated than in the case of dogs.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

"Dogs will love you and defend you and hunt with you because you're part of the pack... whereas a cat is a tiny tiger that lives in your house."

-- CGP Grey, Animal Domestication

[-] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

It depends. If the toddler is trying to actively kill themselves, they are super smart AND fast. On the other hand, I'm told that some cats share a braincell, and if it's not their turn with it, then that's that.

It all depends on the frame of reference.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Inclusive or will get you every time.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

I guess that's why sea otters murder and rape seal pups

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Are the morals of a cat actually any better?

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

I was just about to say that all the cats I've known had the intelligence of toddlers and the morals of seagulls.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Not to mention that seal finger is horrific. Don't fuck with seals.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

yeah that's enough internet for me today

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The morals of a seagull ??? Now, I am scared!

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

intelligence of a toddler and morals of a seagull

That's just a dog. Anyone with a dog knows this.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

They're cute as long as you're out of ear (and nose) range.

this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2024
893 points (99.4% liked)

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