>be me
>lifting in the garage
>mom walks in with a plate of tendies with chinese sauce
>always told mom to not to come to the garage while I lifted
>always told mom to never look me in my eyes while I lifted (its where my demons hide)
>she made eye contact
>the plate fell from her hands
>the young man she had been raising had turned into a FUCKED UP beast
>she covers her mouth with both her hands as she lets out a yelp
>turns around and runs away
>put the rusty barbell down
>calmly walk up to the mirror and smash it as I see the beast too
Gosh dang it /fit/, we were gonna go shopping this weekend. What do I do now?

all 42 comments

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[–] 62 points 2 years ago (1 child)

I can't say if this is satire.

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  • [–] 43 points 2 years ago (3 children)
  • [–] 74 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    A sauce of Chinese origin one would assume

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  • [–] 54 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    As one might get with a succulent Chinese meal? At McDonald's???

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Szechuan sauce. Subtle Rick and Morty reference implying he's a neck beard fanatic.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Do they even make Szechuan sauce anymore though? Are people on 4Chan just reposting their own stories now or did McDonald's just give him old rancid sauces?

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  • [–] 27 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Theres only one option now, Anon. Pick that bar back up.

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  • [–] 26 points 2 years ago (2 children)
  • [–] 29 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Anon is telling a satirical story about how primal and intimidating they are now that they lift weights.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Is it...actual satire though? Or does homie actually think that way?

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  • [–] [S] 13 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    I take it you don’t lift. It can be difficult for the untapped to understand our mindset. Me btw

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  • [–] 21 points 2 years ago

    He might not be an angle, but he sure is acute!

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  • [–] 19 points 2 years ago

    How can you say he is no angle when he's clearly being obtuse.

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  • [–] 17 points 2 years ago (2 children)
  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago

    How bout you not lift in the nude, anon?

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    Woah he is strongh enough to cut me through the internet.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago
    [+] -13 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    On today's episode of 'Bullshit that Never happened'

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